I'm happy to report that the pay-per-minute mobile app scooters plaguing the Columbus campus area are actually extremely good. I rode one to Target and Chick-Fil-A, making it the most millennial thing I've ever done.
I was hesitant at first, as teens riding speedy automated vehicles in dense urban areas seems like a disastrous recipe – and probably is – but the wind blowing in my face as I blow past peasants trudging through the heat to their destinations has won me over. I am team scooter now.
- Why Mike Weber chose to return.
- Austin Mack enjoying catching passes from his roommate and best friend.
- Snap Counts: Oregon State.
- Stock Up/Stock Down
- Cane Patterson commits to Clemson.
- Ohio State files action against Oklahoma for block "O'
Word of the Day: Obnubilate.
FULLER WILL FIX IT. As good as Ohio State's offense was on Saturday, there were some scary moments for the defense, which allowed 31 points to a team that won a single game last year and topped 31-points just twice all season.
It wasn't a great performance – Greg Schiano called it "unacceptable" – but it certainly would have helped if Ohio State had its best tackler and All-American potential safety back back there.
"I think one thing Jordan gives you is kind of a sweeper back there, an insurance policy," Schiano said. "He's a very good tackler in space and, again, I don't know if he's there, do we get some of those plays? Can't live in a speculative world, but I like our odds with him. He's an experienced player who is one of the best in the country at what he does. Certainly you miss a guy of that caliber when he's not playing."
The way OSU uses the position, Fuller wouldn't always necessarily be hemmed into to the free safety role, playing in space and in better position to chase down plays like that. There is some interchangeability for both the free and strong safety with the way offenses spread teams out. But Fuller is experienced and probably best suited among the available players to be the one cleaning up any opponents who break free into the open field like that.
He led the team in solo tackles last year with 51. A title he seemed poised to hold again this year.
I feel like folks don't appreciate Jordan Fuller like they should. Outside of the defensive line, Fuller is the best, most consistent player on defense and there really isn't a close second.
But maybe when the defense magically gets drastically better with his return, people will start to understand.
AP POLLSTER HAS NO IDEA. For some reason, the Associated Press allows a 69-year-old Boston Red Sox reporter who's been covering baseball full-time for over 40 years to vote in its weekly college football poll.
The results were about as disastrous as you'd expect. Jonny Miller of WBZ radio dropped Ohio State 20 spots in his poll, from No. 5 to No. 25, after the Buckeyes hung 77 points on a Power Five opponent.
To a point, I respect the hell out of it. If I very clearly had no business voting in a weekly college football poll, I would never have the 'nads to stir the pot like that and draw obvious attention to myself. On the other hand, it's garbage like this that makes this poll impossible to take seriously.
I don't think he'll have a vote for long after this, but hey, at least he's going to go down in blazing glory.
COLUMBUS LOVES JOE BURROW. This isn't exactly shocking considering Ohio State fans consume anything even tangentially related to Buckeye football like a dog thrown a piece of rare steak, but Columbus was the No. 3 television market for Sunday's LSU vs Miami game, featuring former Buckeye quarterback Joe Burrow.
Hilariously, but also unsurprisingly, Columbus actually outdrew Miami, the large home market of one of the ranked football teams involved in the game.
I also can't help but respect how the people of Birmingham are apparently ready to watch any given college football game at any given time. That city sits near the top of the ratings charts for big games almost every single time, regardless of who's playing.
MIKE BENNETT ALL THE WAY BACK. I remember thinking Michael Bennett was the steal of the 2015 NFL Draft when he fell all the way to the sixth round, and I still think that's a good take.
He's had tough luck with injuries thus far, but he's finally ready to go.
Bennett, a sixth-round pick by the Jaguars in 2015, is still just 25. But it would be difficult to blame him if he felt about twice that age.
The Ohio State product has played one game over the past two seasons; he totaled one tackle and one pass defensed during a Week 2 loss to Tennessee last year. Two days later, Bennett was placed on injured reserve because of a pectoral injury.
It was the second time in as many seasons Bennett landed on IR. He missed the entire 2016 season with a calf injury. That came after a promising rookie year when he totaled 10 tackles, a half-sack and two quarterback hits in 13 games.
“To go from two really tough years injury-wise to feeling the best I’ve felt since probably early high school when it comes to my body is huge,” Bennett said. “I feel great this year. I’m excited that I was able to show them enough to make it on the team. Now I’m just trying to move forward and produce.”
Bennett was every bit as key to Ohio State's 2014 national title run as guys like Joey Bosa, and he spent the second half of his senior season absolutely decimating opposing offensive lines.
I think he's going to make the Jaguars look very smart for drafting him, sticking by him as he recovers, and giving him a spot on the 53-man roster even though he hasn't played football in two years.
BIA THE CARTOON. It appears there is a "BIA" cartoon in the works featuring extremely loose caricatures of former Ohio State defensive backs and defensive backs coach Kerry Coombs.
Emphasis on extremely loose.
I'm not in any authority position to criticize visual artists, but if you had me match those cartoons to the actual human they're depicting without telling me beforehand, there's no way I'd bat above .300.
The video was posted on Doran Grant's instagram page, but I can't really seem to figure out much of anything about it, including who made it, why they made it, where it will be disseminated, or really what the hell it even is.
I'm absolutely fascinated and cannot wait to see how this develops.
THOSE WMDs. Dorthy's Ruby Slippers found 13 years after they were stolen... The science of the tennis grunt... Google's doors hacked wide open by own employee... Bitcoin boom reaches a Canadian ghost town... UFC champ uses Microsoft Excel to smash opponents...