New Orleans — a city after my heart with amicable and nefarious intentions — yet an undisputed beacon of America with an incomparable meld of history, architecture, culture, fare, and soldiers of fortune. Every legend is true, and the World War 2 museum is mandatory, as is the movie.
How every local isn't a 400-pound with multiple substance abuse issues still bemuses me. The fact they aren't shows why my future political opponents are going to have a problem when I roll out my plank of exporting New Orleans liquor laws to Ohio.
Walking around the airport(!) with a beer had me ready to quit life and take up life as a busker. After all, the only thing that separates a blogger from a strip club barker is working with beautiful women from all over the world.
Thankfully for my family's honor that frisson faded as soon as the wheels went down at Dayton international. There is no greater thrill than safely returning to the Buckeye State's sacred soil.
Secondary shoutout to the airport police officer that I didn't even see coming out of the terminal. It was 12:15 a.m., and he let me off with an unwritten warning when he (allegedly) had me dead to rights for speeding.
That is the aura of invincibility in which the Big Easy ensconces its visitors. Now I just hope it carries me through this post as I wake up from a 50-year coma and try to remember a past life as a Buckeye blogger.
ICYMI:
- Isaiah Prince has a new role and leadership void to fill this summer.
- Greg Schiano's new role allows him to work with all four defensive groups, as opposed to one.
- Jim Harbaugh offered an Ohio State baseball commit.
- Dwayne Haskins, Joe Burrow, and Tate Martell trust QB coach Ryan Day.
- Reserve your (or your business’) spot next to the life-size statue of Woody Hayes coming to Newcomerstown!
Word of the Day: Porcine.
THROW THE DAMN BALL. Urban Meyer strives for balance in his offense. If the game gets tight, he switches to the run. And while we will never possibly know until we see the result on the field, those in the know insist the local team will throw more this season regardless of the quarterback.
From theozone.net:
“I think that’s kind of inevitable,” said receivers coach Zach Smith. “You take an offense that was the number one offense in the Big Ten and you lose a guy like J.T. Barrett, you’ve got to replace those yards with something.”
Each of the prospective starters at quarterback can keep plays alive with their legs, but Barrett’s ability to find the first-down marker was unrivaled. The OSU offensive brain trust also learned gradually that unless you have Braxton Miller at quarterback, running the zone read just means teams are going to key on the running back and force the quarterback to keep the ball. Now, for a guy like Tate Martell, that might not be such a bad thing, but running the ball with Joe Burrowor Dwayne Haskins instead of J.K. Dobbins or Mike Weber isn’t an ideal attack.
“If you don’t have a quarterback who’s going to run it like [Barrett] ran it, you’d better find another way,” Smith said. “Whether it’s hand the ball to Mike Weber or J.K. or whoever or if it’s in the throw game. We have to replace those yards, then take it to the next step, we’re trying to enhance it. I’d imagine we’re going to see the passing offense open up a little bit and the tailback run game open up a little bit.”
Yes, everyone knows I was the first person to ever say Dwayne Haskins would be good. That's not a slight to Joe Burrow or Martell.
Haskins may be the most gifted passer of the Urban Meyer Era. That doesn't mean Burrow and Martell can't rip threads.
I think all three will prove to be better passers than Barrett, and the receiving corps should be better all around next year. So I'm bullish on the Buckeyes' passing attack no matter the winner.
FIFTH YEAR VS. FORMER FIVE-STAR. Urban Meyer said when spring practice opened that the battle at center stressed him more than the one for quarterback.
Billy Price said it was fifth-year senior Brady Taylor's job to lose. Behind him, a mountain lurks in the form of strongman Josh Myers.
From dispatch.com:
“I think I’ve got a chip on my shoulder,” he said. “It’s my fifth year and my first year starting and that’s always in the back of my head. I feel a lot of people doubt that I can do it, but I’ve been behind some pretty good players.
“It’s been a long journey. (But) being from Columbus and being a fan of the team I play for and really loving this place, it’s a great opportunity.”
...
Taylor is competing against redshirt freshman Josh Myers, who’s getting a serious look after moving from guard.
The winner here is obviously Ohio State fans. "Iron sharpens iron," as we say in the biz. Either Ohio State will have a scrappy fifth-year senior or a former five-star as a backup.
That's the kind of depth on which championship teams are built.
MICHAEL JORDAN ON GUARD SWITCH. Famous Crying Man Michael Jordan once moonlit as a shooting guard in the NBA. So it's only fitting a man that bares the same name should play the same position on the gridiron.
Jordan is a beefy boy for a guard at 6-7, 310. But the greener pastures of guard duty quickly became evident when he arrived in Columbus.
From cleveland.com:
Michael Jordan, once the No. 14 tackle prospect in the country, came to Ohio State two years ago thinking that his future would be made playing as a bookend on the Buckeyes’ offensive line. Preparing to enter his third year as a starting guard in Columbus, his story is not all that unique when you consider that plenty of players come to college thinking they’re one thing and then realize quickly that they’re something else.
The difference is that Jordan still looks the part of a tackle, long and lean, tall and nimble. Usually when a guy gets shoved inside it’s because he doesn’t fit the physical profile of a tackle. To play the position at this level you usually need that size. Rare that you get by without it.
....
“I came here thinking I was gonna be a tackle, and then I quickly realized that playing tackle in college is a lot different than playing tackle in high school,” Jordan said Wednesday. “For one, defensive ends are a lot faster.”
Jordan is rehabbing a shoulder this spring. Somehow he's already a junior. The silver line to the express to death, which a clairvoyant from Cairo told me won't occur for 51 more years, is Jordan's freshman tribulations means missing spring ball is no big deal as the offensive line reshuffles. He'll lead the way when the time comes.
PINBALL WIZARD. Pinball, like pool, is a game that seems easy until you try to play it. Next thing you know, a hustler is the majority stakeholder of your kid's college fund.
While I hold professional video game players in contempt, I can do nothing but doff my cap to professional pinball players. Apparently such is the life of one Ohio State alumnus.
From Kaylee Harter of The Lantern:
Like many students, when 1991 Ohio State alumnus Trent Augenstein first started college, he had no idea what he wanted to do. Although he graduated with a degree in finance and real estate, he now makes his living off of what started as a favorite hobby — pinball.
Augenstein works as a distributor for Stern Pinball and also operates, sells and repairs games out of a red-and-black barn in Ostrander, Ohio. Perhaps most impressively, he is the seventh-ranked pinball player in the world.
...
At first, there were only three tournaments a year. Now, there are four leagues in Columbus alone and Augenstein plays in more than 100 events a year, which is due to a pinball rebirth that Augenstein credits, in part, to cellphones and the internet.
Before I can truly judge a pinball player, I must see how they handle the toughest slab of slate in the game: Microsoft's 3D Pinball Space Cadet.
NFL ANGLING FOR A RUSE IN STARK COUNTY. The NFL announced an ambitious expansion of its Hall of Fame to much fanfare. Unfortunately Canton, Ohio remains like the rest of America in that money is required to build things.
There are already rumblings of a potential taxpayer bailout.
From nytimes.com:
The Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, is supposed to become a Disney-esque, multiple-day destination with a four-star hotel, a state-of-the-art stadium, a water park, a youth sports complex, a retail promenade, a convention space, a 143-bed assisted living facility for retired Hall of Famers and a small hospital.
At the moment, however, it is a project with a skyrocketing budget, stalled progress, a developer with a checkered performance history in the region who has been accused of misusing $25 million in funds from a federal program, and contractors who recently went months without being paid. Financing problems have necessitated an emergency bank loan, and elected officials in Stark County have discussed a special ballot measure for a sales tax increase to subsidize the project known as Hall of Fame Village.
The residents of Stark County are smarter than that. The NFL ain't lacking for capital.
THOSE WMDs. Cosmetic surgery for fish... Indian reporter hit by truck, dies after investigating the sand mafia... Coming to terms that you're no longer a tough guy... Cutting "old heads" at IBM... She thought she shot a burglar; then she realized it was her roommate.
