Skull Session: An Ode to the Illibuck, J.T. Barrett's Favorite Part of Being a Buckeye, and Brady Hoke Dons a Headset

By D.J. Byrnes on November 16, 2017 at 4:59 am
Illibuck drinks FourLoko for the November 16th 2017 Skull Session
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Thursday, baby! Love when Piqua patriots come to my neighborhood and relieve me of all the previous week's pathetic and unnecessary trash for the rest of my life. Truly the land of the free, folks.

Programming note: Ohio State men's basketball (2-0) takes on Texas Southern (0-2) at 7 p.m. on BTN.

ICYMI: 

Word of the Day: Demiurge.

 ALL HAIL THE ILLIBUCK. Historians say Ohio State–Illinois used to be a top tier banger. When I think Illinois, only four things come to mind:

  1. Craig Krenzel's overtime heroics in 2002.
  2. A guy named Juice and the Illini upsetting No. 1 Ohio State in an entirely inexplicable game in 2007.
  3. Carlos Hyde springing for 248 yards and four touchdowns in 2013.

The fourth, however, is the most important, for it is the greatest trophy the Ohio State football team can win. While the Big Ten Trophy and College Football Trophy look like something out of an EA Sports cut scene, the Illibuck is nothing short of ICONIC.

The Original Mutant Ninja Turtle

The Buckeyes may have won 16 of the last 18 matchups, but I must watch my team hoist the turtle trophy to keep my mental sanity on the rails during the time of year it gets dark at 6 p.m. for some reason.

I did not know, however, that there was more than one Illibuck. From humanity's paper of record, Wikipedia:

The Illibuck is a carved wooden turtle that serves as the trophy awarded to the winner of the game. Two junior honorary societies, Bucket and Dipper of Ohio State and Atius-Sachem of Illinois, are responsible for the care of the Illibuck.

Originally the "trophy" was a live turtle when the tradition began in 1925, picked for its expected long life as a symbol of the anticipated long life of the rivalry. From 1919 to 1933, the Illinois–Ohio State game was the regular-season finale for both teams. Since the original turtle's death on April 14, 1926, ten wooden replica Illibucks have been carved, each with the scores from games on its back. The Illibuck is the second oldest trophy passed between Big Ten Conferencefootball programs (the Little Brown Jug was created in 1903).

The winning team in the Illinois–Ohio State game receives this wooden turtle, named the Illibuck.

The rivalry once included the smoking of a "peace pipe" between members of the two junior honorary societies, which occurred at halftime of the game. This practice has not been done for many years. However, the trophy is still presented to the winning school of the previous year's contest between quarters.

Up to 10 replicas, eh? I guess that explains how I came to share a Natty Light with the Illibuck in a grimy kitchen on the legendary 1800 block of Summit Street back in 2008. The replicas might dilute the trophy to some. To me, that simply makes it a trophy of the people.

I also want to know about these peace pipes and the use of quotations. That sounds like a tradition worth resurrecting, too, but this time with vape pens. (Gentlemen, start your clouds...)

 THE BUCKEYE CONNECTION. Everybody makes jokes about J.T. Barrett playing at Ohio State for a decade. Maybe it's because I'm riding a one-way Hell express into become a servile middle-aged man, but his 2014 breakout season feels like it happened 3 years ago.... WHICH IS NOT THAT LONG, PEOPLE. 

But Barrett no doubt knows his way around campus. Doug Lesmerises of cleveland.com asked the fifth-year senior about his favorite part of being a Buckeye.

Barrett cited the connection to a nationwide group of people, throwing it back to his freshman year when nobody knew him yet he would still get O-H'ed at airports while wearing Buckeye regalia. 

As somebody who exclusively travels in Ohio State gear (how else will these strangers know about my fine taste in amateur athletic teams?), that's absolutely how it goes, too.

 HOKE BREAKS HUBRIS. Despite every other head coach in the 21st century, famous Ohio sleeper agent Brady Hoke stuck it to his critics by not wearing one. It seems he won't free ball like that in Knoxville.

By the way, it would be hilarious if Hoke led Tennessee on a late-season charge, earned the full-time like like Ed Orgeron at LSU, and then put Nick Saban out to pasture as the SEC's kingpin. 

It seems like Hoke is up against a previous culture of toxicity:

It's clear the only man that can salvage the situation is the ESPN NFL analyst that hasn't coached in nearly a decade.

 TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE. I expect about 12 points and no brilliant plays Saturday when the Wolverines and Badgers clash in historic Camp Randall. 

Doesn't appear this tilt has changed in the last 125 years.

From The Saint Paul Globe in 1892, via @MattBrownCFB:

via The St. Paul Globe

We just need Michigan to fall behind early. Then it's curtains.

 CHEATERS COULD WALK THE PLANK. More revelations in the Fisher Business cheating scandal that ensnared 84 students. Some students have affected their graduation date by cheating in a large marketing class.

From 89.7 WOSU radio:

The cheating happened in a large marketing class in the Fisher College of Business. Hynes says the size of the class and its position in the curriculum might mean the students’ action has severe consequences.

“They [might] have to retake the class, which is a prerequisite for another class they needed to graduate,” Hynes says. “So basically some people are risking graduation by cheating in this GroupMe.”

Though teachers admit cheating isn’t new, Hynes reports that technology is making it more ubiquitous. She said Ohio State has worked to integrate more technology into the classroom over the past few years, including online discussion groups for individual courses.

They should consider themselves lucky Ohio State is even letting them take the class. WOULDN'T HAPPEN ON MY WATCH.

 THOSE WMDs. Instanbul cat honored with statue... New book flows with tippling tips to demystifying wine... Yokozuna Harumafuji involved in drunken assault on fellow wrestler... Former Pilot exec: Jimmy Haslam "loved" ripping off customers... Remembering a war without glory.

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