Game Day Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Oklahoma

By D.J. Byrnes on September 9, 2017 at 4:59 am
Baker Mayfield gets dumped for the September 9 2017 Skull Session.
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Woke up out of a coma this morning and heard the Sooners are on deck.

If somebody told you they were vacationing in Oklahoma, you would immediately suspect they were wanted for killing a man or they suffered from untreated mental illness.

Their only state funding comes from ensnared speeders and drug traffickers trying to flee that cursed state in as little time as possible.

Even Bob Stoops tapped out before taking another ass whipping on national TV. He'd rather play Bocce in Youngstown than get paid ~$5.5 million to coach this team.

Their quarterback, Baker Mayfield vacationed in Little Rock. Then he talked shit to the police and got ganked.

I'm supposed to respect this guy's scrambling like it's akin to that of the Gingerbread Man? M8, the Gingerbread Man is a proper legend. Mayfield couldn't even beat Little Rock PD in a footrace down the block.

Six Keystone Lights and getting owned by the police probably qualifies as a wild story in Norman. The good news for their hero is Ohio State's defensive line won't come armed with tasers.

The bad news is, like the Little Rock PD, they won't need them.

9/9 SLATE
TIME (ET) MATCHUP FAVORITE TV CHANNEL
12:00 CINCINNATI at #8 MICHIGAN UM (-34½) ABC
12:00 LANE KIFFIN at #9 WISCONSIN UW (-32½) BTN
12:00 #17 LOUISVILLE at NORTH CAROLINA UL (-10) ESPN
12:00 IOWA at IOWA STATE IU (-3) ESPN2
12:00 NORTHWESTERN at DUKE NU (-3) ESPNU
3:30 FRESNO STATE at #1 ALABAMA BAMA (-44) ESPN2
3:30 PITTSBURGH at #4 PENN STATE PSU (-21½) AB
3:30 #23 TEXAS CHRISTIAN at ARKANSAS TCU (-3) CBS
3:30 INDIANA at VIRGINIA IU (-3) ESPNU
4:30 NEBRASKA at OREGON UO (-13½) FOX
7:00 #13 AUBURN at #3 CLEMSON CLEM (-5½) ESPN
7:30 #15 GEORGIA at #24 NOTRE DAME ND (-4) NBC
8:00 MONTANA at #7 WASHINGTON UW (OFF) PAC12
8:30 #14 STANFORD at #6 USC USC (-5½) FOX
10:00 MINNESOTA at OREGON STATE OSU (-2) FS1
10:15 UTAH at BRIGHAM YOUNG UTES (-2) ESPN2
10:30 BOISE STATE at #20 WASHINGTON STATE WSU (10½) ESPN

Word of the Day: Decimate.

 THAT 11W DRIP. Here's everything you need to know about the Oklahoma Sooners:

Be sure to follow 11W, Dan Hope, Andrew Lind, and James Grega on Twitter for updates live from the Horseshoe.

 IT'S A TRAP. Meyer said it best in the hype video — If somebody tries to come in your house and take something that doesn't belong to them, that's a fight they can't win.

Can't wait to see Meyer shove a dagger in Lincoln Riley's intestines during the postgame handshake and whisper, "Youngstown sends its regards" in his his ear.

SCORE PROPHECY: 42-27, Ohio State.

 THOSE WMDs. Back when pizza hut was an experience... Chess is hard; life is harder... Hollywood's big bet on China is backfiring... The blind traveler... The school beneath the wave.

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