Skull Session: Hue Jackson Wanted Malik Hooker, Urban Meyer Motivates Volleyball Team, and Nick Saban Cashes Out

By D.J. Byrnes on May 3, 2017 at 4:59 am
Greg Schiano whistles the May 3rd 2017 Skull Session
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Woke up today feeling like it should be Friday. And why shouldn't it? Bosses are in trouble if workers realize we could make Wednesday the new Friday with a snap of our fist.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Convivial.

 #MAD ONLINE ABOUT THE BROWNS AGAIN. Because I have the emotional makeup of a toddler suddenly awoken from a nap, my first reaction to passing on Malik Hooker and trading down was becoming one of those fans who cheers "for certain players" rather than teams. 

When they traded down to draft a worse player at the same position, I contemplated melting my laptop in my microwave before remembering I don't do homelessness well.

After Browns security abducted me and reprogrammmed the chip implanted into my skull sleeping on it, I warmed to the idea of the Browns being a 2017 dark horse.

But yesterday I awoke to Hue Jackson saying he wanted Malik Hooker.

Obviously, the former baseball guy and the numbers dictated trading down for more picks and drafting Peppers, which makes me sick.

Sometimes it's just as simple as taking the best player on the board. As a Browns fan, I too had seen how Ed Reed could impact a game. 

Hooker's tape wasn't perfect and neither were his instincts... but good lord, he made more highlights on bigger stages in one year than Peppers did in three. And he's only been playing the sport for five years.

Yes, I'm #mad online about this. And my psychologist, Dr. Starcat, fears the mania is getting worse.

 VOLLEYBALL TO REPEAT, LOOKS LIKE. The men's volleyball team begins its quest for a repeat championship Thursday night in St. John Arena at 6 p.m. ET.

After seeing this tweet, I'm not sure why we should waste time playing the tournament:

I need a copy of that tape. I imagine Meyer blood-faced red screaming, "SWING!!! SWING!!!!!!!! SWIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" before putting his fist through the dry board. Foreign-born players like, "Bruv, who in the hell is this again!?"

 SABAN CASHES OUT. Thanks to a $4 million signing bonus, Alabama will pay its Dear Leader $11.125 million to coach its amateur football team in 2017. All part of a money tsunami to hit Tuscaloosa this week.

The Tide now have an outside linebackers coach (and ace recruiter) that makes more than the athletic director.

From footballscoop.com:

Beyond Saban, new AD Greg Byrne signed a contract that will pay him $900,000 this year and rise $25,000 a year.

Byrne will earn less than his own outside linebackers coach. Tosh Lupoi netted a raise from $550,000 to $950,000 — more than 46 FBS head coaches in 2016, according to the USA Today coaching salary database. Defensive coordinator Jeremy Pruitt earned a $300,000 raise to $1.3 million, while offensive coordinator Brian Daboll will earn $1.2 million in a previously reported deal.

This is good as long as not a single dollar is spent on lunch for one of the players that helped Saban earn the contract. It would fundamentally alter the sport. For some reason I can't just figure out, the $11 million coach doesn't run it for me. In fact, I wish he got paid more.

He's the kingpin of the only machine in Alabama anybody outside the state cares about. Considering what he does for the school's profile, he may be underpaid.

From nytimes.com in November 2015:

The athletic director and the salesman, the football coach and the sorority sister, have all taken their places for what, at least seven Saturdays here each year, becomes the center of the Alabama universe: game day. It is equal parts war on the field and worship service, and it serves as the centerpiece of Alabama Football Inc., an enterprise that generates more than $95 million annually.

Its football prowess is well established, going back to 1926, when the Crimson Tide became the first Southern team to win the Rose Bowl, and continuing with the powerhouse 1960s and ’70s teams coached by the legendary Paul Bryant, known as Bear, and Saban’s current run of three national titles in the past six years, with a realistic shot at a fourth this season.

But over the past decade, the success of Crimson Tide football can be measured off the field as well, as it has become a powerful engine for the university’s economic and academic growth, a standout among other large public universities with a similar zest for capitalizing on their sports programs.

And of course Paul Finebaum used the news to potshot Jim Harbaugh (I'm pro-potshot when it comes to Harbaugh):

Makes you think, for sure.

 NFL CAN'T DISCIPLINE CONLEY. The Raiders may have taken a chance on Gareon Conley considering league rules prevent disciplinary actions against him—no matter what happens in his legal case—because the alleged incident occurred before the NFL draft.

From profootballtalk.com:

Many things remain unclear regarding the pending rape allegations against Raiders cornerback Gareon Conley. One thing is clear: Whatever happens, Conley will not be subject to NFL discipline.

Conley won’t be subject to discipline because the alleged conduct occurred before he was drafted. While he necessarily would be unable to play if, for example, he is convicted on first-degree felony charges and sent to prison, the NFL can’t and won’t suspend him for something that happened before he became an employee of an NFL team.

League spokesman Brian McCarthy confirmed this position to PFT via email on Tuesday morning.

If only Terrelle Pryor had those same protections. He might've supplanted Tom Brady by now.

 THAT SEC SPEED. The 40-yard dash is all the rage these days. Folks love to see a prospect run a 4.2, which is interesting considering it's far from world-class.

Here's what a 40-yard dash looks like from someone with actual track speed, courtesy of Tennessee's Christian Coleman.

Via @AndrewMLind:


Sign him up, Urban. Vols fans would be sick.

 THOSE WMDs. The future of football... The accidental getaway driver... X-Pac arrested at LAX with weed and meth... Haitians ask what makes a city... What's the deal with Pee Pee Township?

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