Halloween Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on October 31, 2014 at 6:00 am
Curtis Samuel rolls out vs. Rutgers

Don't fret, Cavaliers fans; 81-1 would still set an NBA record. 

This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS (in honor of Boardwalk Empire ending):

#FSUTWITTER COMES TO BOSA'S DOOR. #FSUTwitter is on pace to become the literal definition of "persecution complex," and its competition isn't close. (Its nadir was the moronic #BlameJameis hashtag.)

So, it's of no surprise insufferable FSU fans slid into Joey Bosa's mentions like the wind upon Bosa's mere mention of Florida State:

#FSUTwitter gets destroyed by Bosa like they're a running back in a pass-blocking situation

Joey Bosa is rocketing up my favorite Buckeyes list; Zack Scott stood less of a chance in that exchange than PSU's Akeel Lynch did on Bosa's game-winning sack.

Bosa also had some thoughts on Halloween costumes:

Speaking of something shameful: Bobby Petrino, who remarkably wasn't the most detestable coach last night, had one job: give the Marionaire the damn ball. L.J. Scott touched the rock four times and gained 41 yards (what can I say, Marionaires know what to do with rocks). Only four touches, though? That's pathetic, and that's why Louisville lost last night. 

Oh, and Florida State is not good. And neither is Notre Dame. #FreeOhioState

URBAN THREW A HALLOWEEN #BANGER. Urban Meyer is a high-octane, type-A personality, and in the words of his wife, "he just goes so hard." So it's good to see Urban letting his hair down (not pictured: the 40 ouncers of Mickey's I assume Urbz was slugging):

Nobody loves photobombing as much as Urban Meyer loves photobombingNobody.

Sadly, my Brady Hoke costume and I were turned away at the door (thanks for not calling the cops on me, Mrs. Meyer):

Brady Hoke the creepy clown

SO WHAT DO NFL PLAYERS DO ON A BYE? Because the computer football gods hexed me, the Packers are on a bye this week. So what exactly do millionaires (and almost-millionaires) do on their bye week?

Well, here's what A.J. Hawk does (via Peter King of Sports Illustrated):

I usually do one heavy squat day each game week, to help push out the soreness, so that’s what I did on Tuesday. I built a gym in my basement, so I can do all my workouts at the house. Wednesday morning, I worked out on the VersaClimber, the same vertical climbing machine we have in Green Bay. I don’t like to run on a treadmill—my knees and feet don’t need that—but this lets you condition without pounding on your joints. I try to simulate the bursts of activity in games, so I’ll sprint hard for 10 to 15 seconds at a time, then take 20 seconds off, like you would between plays. I also did some kettlebell swings and medicine ball slams.

My 20-month-old son, Hendrix, likes to come down to the gym and try to pick up one of the small kettlebells. This is one of the best parts of the bye week. Most of the time during the season, I’m not home during the day or when our kids wake up. Most days my daughter Lennon, who is almost 4, asks me at bedtime, “Are you going to be here when I wake up, or does coach need you at football?” This week, I have been eating breakfast with them—eggs for me, oatmeal for the kids—and playing YouTube videos that they sing and dance to. Lennon is really into that song, “All About That Bass.” We also play a lot of John Lennon and Jimi Hendrix, the musicians the kids are named after. I don’t want the old classic rockers to be forgotten.

While the kids were at pre-preschool on Tuesday morning, I posted my recent podcast, The HawkCast, on my website, AJHawk.com. It’s part of a series of long-form conversations I started doing with interesting people in all fields. This week’s is with Jimmy Hatch, a retired Navy SEAL who was wounded on an attempted rescue mission of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. On Wednesday, we carved pumpkins with my in-laws, and we’ll take the kids trick-or-treating on Thursday. They’re dressing up as old people, with a little gray beard for Hendrix.

A.J. Hawk: Buckeye. Super Bowl Champion. PODCASTER!?!? The Year of Luigi has been remarkable. I'm about to be 28 in December (gulp), so if y'all want to run 2014 back (maybe skipping the Orange Bowl?) I'd be cool with that. 

Also, I too don't like running on a treadmill either... because my feet and ankles don't like it...

CAN TIM BECKMAN SAVE HIS JOB? If Illinois were smart, it would fire Tim Beckman and hire Tom Herman. (I'm available for consulting, Big Ten teams, and my rates are reasonable.)

Yet, the Tim Beckman era trundles onward. 

From Athlon Sports:

When Illinois hired Tim Beckman, the administration did so taking a bit on a gamble on a head coach who managed to take Toledo to one bowl game (which the Rockets lost) and never won more than eight games in a season. Now in year three of the Beckman Era, the Illini have gone 10-22. Yes, Beckman finally hit double digits in the win column at Illinois after his Illini managed to upset Minnesota on Saturday afternoon. It was just the second conference win under Beckman since he was hired. Is it warm in here, or is that just the coaching hot seat?

That paragraph is so, so B1G.

With the win, Illinois evened its record at 4-4, which is already equal to last season’s win total. Is this a sign of progress being made at Illinois? Beckman took over a program that had plenty of young talent that was quickly victimized by a rash of injuries, and keeping key players on the field has been a struggle beyond Beckman’s control. But this excuse will only have so many legs to stand on for any coach, especially when the program let go of a coach that led it to a Rose Bowl trip and two bowl victories to hire that new coach.


Illinois may very well fall shy of postseason eligibility in the end. If that proves to be the case, Beckman will have to prove he is making progress some other way and empty seats in the stadium on Saturday tend to speak pretty loudly.

Barring a miracle, Tim Beckman should be fired. Unless mediocrity is acceptable to Illinois, which judging by the fact they hired a coach who never won more than eight games in a season at Toledo, it might well be.

OH, PURDUE! SO CLOSE. This is the most Purdue thing I've seen since the Boilermakers practiced halftime.

(Note: For whatever reason, Beitvashahi deleted his tweet, but the text stands above, and the attached images can be viewed here and here.)

I guess that's one way to stand out in the flood of mailings a typical recruit receives. Bold strategy, Boilermakers.

THOSE WMDs. Bet The New York Times wishes they had this one back... How Muhammad Ali's rope-a-dope strategy suckered America... PAPA JOHN! You went too far with this one... Somebody on the Cavs does not like Powerade... Watch Maya Angelou tell the story of the greatest long con she ever saw... The Earth, as seen from behind the moon... Two bros chillin' at the Cavs game.

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