Friday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on July 18, 2014 at 6:00 am
First Ohio State Football team, 1890, via The Ohio State Archives
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Quick #shoutout to the fellas at Teck's Barber Shop on 13th for fading your boy up yesterday. They're the best shop this side of my man Jay at Olde Towne Barber Shop in the City of Kings.

This get-laid-fade got me feeling right for today's Session of Skull, especially as I await my first media feud that isn't yapping from MGOBLOG chumps I've never heard of.

I walk around in internet fighting shape, after all. I WAS BUILT FOR A MEDIA FEUD, MAN.

But until a nemesis worthy of my talent gets put on my radar, here are this week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:

2014 MAKE OR BREAK FOR URBAN MEYER. So says Ben Axelrod of Bleacher Report:

[...] 2014 is shaping up to be a make-or-break year for the Buckeyes, in more ways than one.

That may seem like hyperbole, given that Meyer has accumulated a 24-2 record in his first two seasons in Columbus. Any program, regardless of its size and stature, should be thrilled with those results, regardless of when and where the two losses came.

No, this isn't about a lack of success for the Buckeyes, because under Meyer they've enjoyed plenty. But for a coach and program who are both ultimately judged by championships, 2014 presents each with their best chances of ending their respective droughts as a series of factors have made the present brighter than the immediate future in Columbus.

Axelrod goes onto mention replacing Braxton Miller, the toughening of the schedule and the betterment of Big Ten as reasons why 2014 might be the best shot Ohio State has at a title for a hot minute.

I'm firm in my belief Urban Meyer will only be coach at Ohio State for three or four more years, so I think Axelrod makes some fair points.

I do think, however, the two-game skid at the end of the 2013 campaign was a blessing. Without Christian Bryant, I think Florida State (or Auburn) would've done bad, bad things to the Silver Bullets. Could Ohio State have beat either team? Sure, but I wouldn't have liked their chances.

I also think a loss in a bullshit Orange Bowl is easier to get over than a loss in the championship game. It will go a long way in sharpening the team and rid them of some of the entitlement that came with 24-0. 

To say it's "make or break" for Urban Meyer this year is a bit hyperbolic, though. Urban is too good to be broken by a single year.

NICK SABAN: REPORTER. Alabama Jesus, aka Nick Saban, strolled into SEC Media days yesterday and casually broke some news:

Schools will also be limited to five underclassmen who will be able to submit for feedback, because the NFL — the richest sports league in the world — is "overwhelmed" by current numbers.

DAVE BRANDON FOILED AGAIN. Remember Dave Brandon's ingenious plan to "enhance the fan experience" of Wolverine football by holding a fireworks show after Michigan's games against Penn State and Miami (OH)? Michigan's idiot Board of Regents smothered that baby in its cradle.

Don't worry, Dave Brandon; geniuses are never understood by their contemporaries. In fifty years, when Michigan Stadium is bulldozed and Disney Galaxy is built upon its ashes... you will be appreciated for the luminary you truly are.

GET HYPE TOLEDO. Toledo is my "non-Ohio State Ohio team," and for that reason, I'm including this hype video. GLASS CITY, STAND UP!!!!!!11111

I LOVE YOU LES MILES. I hope Les Miles is immortal. I do not want to bring kids into this world if Les Miles isn't apart of it. I am dead serious, too. Les Miles is the like a wild flower growing in the middle of my black, ashen heart.

Yeah, you're damn right Les Miles is a fan of Colombia, for their, uh, "physical brand of football."

THOSE WMDs. Damn, Larry, you got owned... J.B. Shugarts released by the Lions... Jordan Cameron's combine numbers were bananas... Michigan's offensive line is so insecure... If your kid has a condition new to science, what do you do?... The Great Train Robbery Mystery may have finally been solved... How I Became a Knausgaard Truther... The fallout from a foul ball... The Craigslist Killers: A pimping preacher, his 'nephew' and the men in the woods:.. 

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