Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on April 14, 2014 at 6:00 am
Kirk Irwin Photography
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Normally, I'd make a Game of Thrones joke here, but I don't feel like starting my day by getting flayed by the commentariat for "spoiling" a TV show about a book published in 2000. So here's my hot take: Last night's episode was good. The ending was real good too.  

WHAT URBAN WANTED TO SEE. Spring games are fickle things. They're the earliest public glimpse of that year's team, but the rosters are always fragmented. (OSU's best player being sidelined this year compounded the evaluation problem.)

Urban, however, was very clear in what he was looking for on Saturday. From Chris Vannini of CoachingSearch.com:

“I'm not trying to evaluate an offense because who cares?” [Meyer] said. “There are guys out there that will either never play or they're not ready to play now. I'm not evaluating (the unit). [Ohio State Director of Communications] Jerry [Emig] hands me stats and I'm not sure what to do with these. I don't care. What I do care is who is physically going to make the plays. It's almost like an individual game today.

“That's what I wanted to watch. I wanted to see who was going to compete and make plays, not who is going to fit into the team concept, because we all know what we saw out there. It's not the Ohio State Buckeyes. It's a bunch of people all over the place. Does that make sense? I was just watching guys and I have some opinions after today's game.”

Classic Urban here: "I'm not sure what to do with these. I don't care."

And yeah, when the head coach is calling it "a bunch of people all over the place," you can't charge $20 for that, even if it's all going to charity. (Props though to Ohio State for doing the right thing and lowering the prices.)

BRAXTON BASHES MICHIGAN. Braxton may have sat out spring camp due to shoulder surgery rehab, but it doesn't mean the young man isn't throwing bombs on his foes:


There are only 229 days until The Game.

MICHIGAN STUDENT GOVERNMENT BASHES MICHIGAN. So Michigan got socked in the kisser last night by their own student government for UM's piss-poor handling of Brandon Gibbons' sexual assault case. (They're still under federal investigation as well.)

From Freep.com:

The University of Michigan regularly failed to meet deadlines to investigate claims of sexual assault on campus, a report issued Sunday by the university’s Central Student Government charges.

“(U-M) routinely failed to meet its 60-day deadline to conduct investigations, apparently due to a lack of staffing,” CSG President Michael Proppe told the Free Press. “While the increase in reporting of sexual misconduct is encouraging, the university should have responded by hiring an additional investigator more quickly.”

The CSG, which shared the report with the Free Press prior to releasing it to the public, launched the investigation following the university’s dismissal of football player Brendan Gibbons in December. The group said head football coach Brady Hoke likely “knowingly lied” about Gibbons, a kicker, when asked why he wasn’t with the team for a bowl game in December.

This might be the first note-worthy act in the history of student government.

I can't believe Brady Hoke could up end getting fired for protecting a dirtbag kicker — A KICKER. If Urban Meyer was caught up in a shit-storm like this, Matt Hayes would write a 10,000-word opus with his erection. 

COACH, ARE YOU SURE THAT'S LEGAL? Still waiting for a defensive coordinator to say "We're going to be more passive this coming year. I also think blitzing is a load of horse-shit." Still though, I'd rather die a quick death than one on a long drip:


IS THAT DURON CARTER'S MUSIC? One-time Twitter kingpin and X-Box 360 aficionado, Duron Carter, didn't pan out at Ohio State. Carter ended up playing in the CFL with Troy Smith on the Montreal Allouettes. It looks like the young fellah might be putting the pieces together:


Still patiently awaiting Troy Smith's day of reckoning with the NFL. He's my sleeper pick in this year's NFL draft.

DRINKS ARE ON GENE SMITH. Ohio State is a national champion once again. From OSU's official site:

COLUMBUS, Ohio – Tallying an overall score of 57 points, the Ohio State synchronized swimming team won the 2014 U.S. Senior National Championship Saturday in Oro Valley, Ariz.

Performing outside at the Oro Valley Aquatic Center, the Buckeyes collected three medals en route to their first-place team finish and the program’s first U.S. Senior National title since the 2010-11 season.

The synchronized swimming national title drought is OVER!!!!!!!!111111111111

THOSE WMDs. The rise and fall of Rick James... How a failed Russian cake shop owner humiliated Indiegogo and took “the crowd” for over $1 million... Sorry-ass Knicks get their "One Shining Moment"... 11 old-timey slang words for police... Casino says Phil Ivey cheated them out of $10 million... Horrifying picture of Chinese man and 450,000 bees... Babies tasting lemons for the first time... Photo essay: Surviving in the Amazon... Roger Federer As Religious Experience... 

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