All you guys had to do was wear gray for four hours.
That's it. That was the whole ask. And you failed in absolutely spectacular fashion.
As a self-professed, self-aware Ohio State fan I can accept our collective flaws and quirks, like our inability to properly enjoy a 37-9 win over a pesky conference champion any ball-knower could have told you in advance was going to be a pain in the ass.
That’s a flaw because joy shouldn't be so painful. A quirk would be our inability to compliantly participate in the type of stadium stunt just about any other Power Four program can pull off. Ohio Stadium's Helmet Stripe stunt required, let me check the detail here to make sure I understand it, ah yes – wear a color.
The intent was to re-enact the iconic helmet as a stadium. If you sat in the horseshoe part of the Horseshoe, that meant wear gray. You own gray. Everyone owns gray. It's not obscure like fuchsia, glaucous, puce or viridian. It's gray. You were asked to wear gray, just once. The instructions could not have been more clear:
in the Saturday pic.twitter.com/yTkIINdqEx
— Ohio State Football (@OhioStateFB) September 9, 2025
That looks sweet, right? The South Stands got to be the stripe. Everyone else was the false sense of CTE prevention avoidance-part of the helmet. Just wear what you're told and get ourselves a sweet photo of the whole gang helmeting. Here's how that turned out.
Note, it's 3-0 Buckeyes in this shot - everyone's in the building. You can't blame the red chairs.
Great job, everybody. via
South Stands, you understood the assignment. Everyone else, lol come on guys. Every other fan base in college sports can do shit like this. Tennessee pulled off a checkerboard earlier in the day - that's a fanbase that was agonizing over where exactly in the Olentangy they were going to deposit the Ohio Stadium goal posts after the 1st round playoff game last December. They figured out how to dress for the photo.
Even they have the discipline to unite for the sake of a photo op. Us? We got mad at Grambling for being Grambling after a 70-0 win, then got mad at Ohio State for winning by 29 against a spread that closed at 28.5. Flaws and quirks. We have both.
Great teams cover, but The Best Damn Fans in the Land couldn't even cover themselves in the second-most common color shirt on a warm fall night. But I had to wear my lucky game day shirt - my brother in Woody Hayes, we were playing Ohio University.
Ross Bjork learned another lesson about the tribe he's serving as an interloper from Not Ohio: We don't take instruction well. We don't accept losses well either. You cannot tell us what to wear. We don't even handle bye weeks in a healthy fashion. That's a quirk, not a flaw.
Ugh, the Buckeyes don't play Saturday? Hey, let's get Situational anyway.
OPENER | ORDINARY STARDUST
James Peoples leaps over Grambling State defensive back Jalen Guillard in the 2nd half of the game at Ohio Stadium on Sept 6. © Samantha Madar/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images
Did the Buckeyes just win a clunker? Not really. It was beautiful ugly. This team is terrific.
I was unbothered for all but two plays. Julian Sayin is still a teenager and a new starter - he's going to make some unfortunate decisions and OU was the type of opponent where those lessons are welcome to be learned. Tegra Tshabola is a guy the staff is trying to get to figure some maddening things out - great, keep figuring.
Short yardage struggles, hey friends that's a familiar pickle. The punt team got to take the night off and Day has all but admitted they don't really care about that unit's performance anyway - if they did, it wouldn't be entering Year Five in a crisis condition.
Brandon Inniss had the longest OSU punt return since the Magyars invaded Europe. Beautiful Ugly can properly characterize 98% of college football games. Only two plays from Saturday bothered me.
The inability to Get Two Yards When the Buckeyes Need One has been a challenge for most of Day's tenure.
The first was bringing in Lincoln Kienholz for some sweet short yardage staleness we were first introduced to with the Tate Martell Package™ back when Day's full-time job was calling plays and coaching quarterbacks. It was a positive gain, but brother - that ain't it. That's not the fix, and no one wearing pads likes it when this happens.
And the second was Lorenzo Styles turning four bad seconds into 10 bad seconds. That's a lesson the whole team can learn once, and one of the roster's veterans unwillingly became a cautionary tale in disaster containment. Ultimately, a beautiful ugly game is a reason to savor our privilege. This team is terrific.
The Get Two Yards When You Need One Yard stuff has been a challenge for most of Day's tenure. It's been cured by JK Dobbins before, and most recently was suppressed momentarily by Chip Kelly and two weathered veterans - we don't have to talk about the Michigan game today. There's got to be a better way to solve it in 2025 than rotating in the QB Derby's runner-up or - heaven forbid - bringing back Stretch into the Boundary.
It's not just scheme, it's culture. Short Yardage Envy comes with some thorns. You like sexy short-yardage success? Here's WVU punching it in with a QB, an RB and n i n e offensive linemen:
This might be the greatest formation Ive ever seen. 9 offensive lineman!!! #wvu pic.twitter.com/DHjPe3bieJ
— Donald Butcher (@DonaldButcher) September 14, 2025
That's the same WVU who lost to your Ohio Bobcats one week before their Columbus visit? Yikes! Let's focus on good teams with high upward mobility - here's a very sexy heavy personnel package from no.3 LSU to the weak side against Florida last weekend:
Heavy Personnel as the Good Lord intended. pic.twitter.com/RC2jgsNgex
— Coach Dan Casey (@CoachDanCasey) September 14, 2025
Why can't Ohio State do that? LSU's rushing attack looks amazing because any football team can do something cool one time. The Tigers are currently ranked no.117 in the FBS in running the ball. Yikes!
Okay, let's focus on good teams with high upward mobility that aren't coached by Brian Kelly - here's a Vanderbilt Jet Sweep TE Cross Release Slip Screen. You could run this play eight different ways to set up runs with passes and passes with runs. Controlled chaos, baby:
Vanderbilt running Jet Sweep Tight End Cross Release Slip Screen pic.twitter.com/JX3PkpmVTM
— Firstdown_XOs (@FirstdownX__Os) September 14, 2025
At this point you're bracing for the yikes. Vandy is averaging just four more inches per carry this season than Ohio State is. They're both undefeated teams. But that's not a yikes. The yikes comes when you find out who is calling Vandy's plays. They'll figure it out. If not, yikes.
INTERMISSION
The Solo
Last year in an attempt to exorcise the demons of Michigan claiming a national title* songs exclusively from 1997 were sacrificed in this space. This strategy worked marvelously, so this year's theme will be Songs From Any Year Except 1997 or 2023.
Sometimes movies are great because of how old you were when you saw them. Beverly Hills Cop was the first rated-R movie I saw in a theater, because compensation shapes behavior and the cinema on Henderson Road in UA didn't pay its employees enough to care to force three 10-year olds to see Ghostbusters again.
The soundtrack is full of classic 80s bangers. The one featured today came via Eagles rhythm guitarist Glenn Frey. It contains a saxophone solo. Let's answer our two questions.
Is the musician in the video actually playing the saxophone?
Sax was handled by David Woodford, who passed away during the pregame of the Ohio State-Georgia Peach Bowl. This means he never got to see what we cannot forget. This song represents his second Situational intermission appearance, and once again he doesn't appear in the video.
We don't know why. Perhaps he was camera-shy. Or, he wasn't paid or paid enough. Compensation shapes behavior, which is how I saw BHC in the theater. Whoever is pretending to be Dave in the video with a saxophone, it's not Dave. That person isn't even playing the saxophone. Dave isn't here, man. VERDICT: No, conclusive.
does this saxophone solo slap?
Sometimes movies are good no matter how old you were when you saw them, and having rewatched BHC recently - it still holds up. I'm no longer 10 years old and now have refined, artisan adult tastes. Music is the same - sometimes it's good because of how old you were.
Some art transcends your formative years. The Heat is On still kicks ass, and they don't make music anymore where saxophones get to do the heavy lifting on a pop song hook. I found the latest BHC sequel was disappointing, but maybe I'm just the wrong age. VERDICT: Slaps
DRY BYE
There is a bourbon for every situation. Sometimes the spirits and the events overlap, which means that where bourbon is concerned there can be more than one worthy choice.
Over the years I've gotten feedback from former or non-drinkers about the inclusion of alcohol in this piece. The Situational's genesis arrived on this web site in a glass snifter, so brown liquor is always going to be a part of this in-season series.
That being said, I'm going to institute a dry bye this week out of respect for the readers who felt strongly enough to speak up. If you'd like a bye week Situational recommendation, please consider either of last season's two bye week selections.
Oh, while you're here - you all bought too many Situational t-shirts again and triggered another restock. The Situational Tee is back in the Dry Goods store in all sizes, especially yours. Grab one before someone else does.
CLOSER | SURPRISE, KILL, VANISH
Rob Kelly blocks a punt by Alabama's Bryne Diehl in the 1995 CompUSA Florida Citrus Bowl in Orlando on January 2, 1995. © Doral Chenoweth/The Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images
This pause between opponents on Ohio State's schedule has come to be known as Improvement Week - which is a nebulous and aspirational signal that when this team emerges again with television cameras on it, it will be better than it was before. Improvement Week is inspirational.
Last season after one week off, Marshall clocked a 13-minute TOP advantage playing keep-away - but that was fine because Ohio State ended the game with a five-touchdown advantage. Nebraska followed the second bye, which, well, we love college football.
The Buckeyes had not quite gotten over their last-second loss in Eugene, and the OL had not discovered the best version of itself post-Josh Simmons. Improvement Week isn't a guarantee. Even the top-ranked defending national champion has sizable areas to upgrade.
Improvement Week is an opportunity.
A special teams unit which performs like Parker Fleming no longer has key card to the Woody probably isn't solved with a week off. The good news is they proved it's not necessary to win the sport's biggest trophy. Improvement Week is a choice.
Defensive linemen who can consistently beat blockers to pressure a quarterback is more important, and that took a minute last season. This isn't a problem until it becomes a problem. Matt Patricia's unit is allowing five points a game. It's earned some grace. Improvement Week is fluid.
Your team is in a good spot and has been trending that way for awhile. It could be worse:
— Barstool Vandy (@BarstoolVandy) September 14, 2025
Since you're morbidly curious and always make your team the main character, the last time the B1G's weakest historical program had a stronger 12-game stretch than Ohio State was early 1988, during the Earle-Coop transition and it included The Darkest Day.
The Hoosiers are a sparkling 10-2 over their past 12 games (and 14-2 since the start of last season; best stretch in program history). The Buckeyes are 11-1 over their past 12. They're right there. Stay frosty out there. Improvement Week is an opportunity.
Thanks for getting Situational today. Go Bucks. Beat Bye.
