10 Reasons to Hate Northwestern

By JL Kirven on October 17, 2019 at 8:30 pm
10 reasons to hate northwestern
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Northwestern is a tough school to hate, but that doesn't mean we won't find a way.

10) Tough to hate

Not going to lie, Northwestern's a toughie. You don’t like them, but do you really hate them?

The Wildcats don’t cause grief like Michigan State or Penn State.

They’re not a hated rival like that team up North.

They’re kind of just another team in the Big Team that needs to get smacked in the mouth.

Nothing personal, it’s just business baby.

9) Medill

In the world of journalism, there’s a school that we all either love because we went there or hate because we didn’t. That school is the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University.

This school is considered the cream of the crop and every kid who’s graduated from there is heralded as the next Michael Wilbon, Mike Greenberg or Brent Musburger, all of whom are Medill alumnus.

I don’t go to Medill. I’ve never wanted to. I’m a proud J-student in the Scripps School of Journalism at The Ohio University, and we can craft a lede too.

So even though Medill beats us in Pulitzers and New York Times best sellers, their J-students have to cover Northwestern sports and that is nothing to brag about.

8) Evanston

When you think of Northwestern you think of Chicago, but you shouldn’t. The school is in Evanston.

Let's not pretend to be somebody we're not.

7) Willie the Wildcat

He’s kind of cute, but way too cute to be a mascot. This non-threatening pussycat looks more stuffed animal than ferocious feline.

I hope for his sake he never comes to blows with Brutus. Because Willie doesn’t want that problem.

6) Loyola runs Chicago

Northwestern has Willie, but Loyola has Sister Jean.

And also, double the number of NCAA Final Four appearances that the Wildcats even have tournament appearances.

Ohio State runs its state, Northwestern can’t even run its block.

5) Quarter System

I thought the quarter system was a thing of the past, but apparently Northwestern is still living in the stone age.

Most universities across these United States of America run on semesters these days, so it's kind of hilarious that such a prestigious academic institution like Northwestern wouldn't keep up, but maybe being pretentiously different is on brand.

4) These Abominations

There are a lot of bad looks in the Big Ten, but these might be the worst.


Don't worry! You'll see them Friday night against the Buckeyes.

3) The Only Private School in the Big Ten

College is already expensive enough but going to a private school is really going to empty your pockets.

While Northwestern is a fine university with a slightly overrated J-school, all the schools in the conference are just dandy. In the classroom that is.

Why Northwestern must be the pretentious kid in the Big Ten in beyond me.

2) Pat Fitzgerald wants to shake people

Coach Pat Fitzgerald doesn’t like the youth on their phones.

So much so he wants to shake the habit out of them.

Keep your hands to yourself, Pat 

1) Fridays are for the kids

The main reason to hate the Wildcats is that the Buckeyes have to play them on a Friday this week. Even though we all love seeing the scarlet and gray play, this Friday night matchup throws off the football feng-shui.

Friday nights are for high school football. Sitting on ice cold bleachers with scorching hot chocolate in hand. Watching sons and daughters on the field represent their schools. Complaining to your neighbor about why the coach runs the same five plays a game and how great of a DB you were back in the day.

Well now this week just isn’t the same. Your attention is torn. While the band is performing its Disney-themed halftime show, you’ll be switching through apps trying to keep up with the score.

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