10 Reasons to Hate Michigan State

By JL Kirven on October 4, 2019 at 7:30 pm
Sparty is bad.

It's that time of the week! As the Buckeyes prepare to battle Michigan State under the lights, you can prepare with these 10 reasons to hate the Spartans

10) Sparty 

The Big Ten is full of beloved mascots: Brutus, Bucky, that man-chipmunk hybrid thing at Minnesota, but none are as overrated as Sparty the Spartan. 

First of all, Sparty?

Wow, that was imaginative. Imagine if more characters had that much thought put into their names. Maybe we’d have Banky the Banker, or Trashy the Trashman. 

Second, I’d probably wear a scowl all the time too if I was roided out as much as this guy is. 

Seriously, ever heard of cardio, bro? Maybe if you had your team would have the stamina to make a playoff run. 

9) Tom Izzo

Let’s be real MSU – football ain't your game. 

But y'all can ball. 

The reason for that is Tom Izzo, the Spartans stoic head coach on the sidelines. Izzo’s ruled the Big Ten since arriving in Lansing, leading the Spartans to 8 final fours. He only has one national championship to show for it, but I digress.

The man is a great coach, and Ohio State’s biggest roadblock to Big Ten supremacy. And while things look promising for the Buckeyes this season, Izzo’s still loaded with one of the best rosters in the country. 

8) State of Michigan 

Is it even right to call them Michigan State, or are they just that team even more up North?

MSU, we have to hate you because you’re the little brother of the Buckeyes biggest rival. So that makes you a rival by association. I mean, the song is the whole state of Michigan, after all.

So after we whup up on you, go tell your brother. They can get this work too.

7) Mark Dantonio

Mark, buddy, we don't want to hate you.

Fans old enough to remember the turn of the century love you for being the mastermind behind the defense that won the 2002 championship. But after 2013, 2015 and other too close for comfort like games you can’t continue to raise this great fanbase’s blood pressure without consequences. 

Thus the reason why you're on this list. 

6) Highlighter Green 

I like the color green. It reminds me of nature and money. 

But these jersey’s remind me of puke. Really, Nike? This is the best you could give our rival by association? At least let them compete for fourth place in the Big Ten East in style. 

Because this ain't it. 

5) Tony Mandarich 

Sports Illustrated called him the Incredible Bulk when he really was an Incredible bust. 

Ante Josip Mandarich, better known to the world as Tony, was allegedly a great lineman at MSU, except he wasn't. He was gigantic and strong and looked like the prototypical first-round pick, yet all that mass hid one major flaw: his footwork sucked.. 

Unfortunately for the Green Bay Packers, there scouts didn’t pick up on that. And Mandarich would go on to become one of the biggest busts in NFL history.  

4) Nick Saban

I was born in 1998, so to be honest, I was more concerned about my bottle than I was about the top-ranked Buckeyes being upset by the Spartans. I do, however,  have a sense of how painful that loss was thanks to the NCAA Football video game. 

On the game, there's a mode where you can reenact college football’s greatest moments. You get points for winning the game like the real team had done in the past. 

To this day, I still haven’t played the Michigan State vs Ohio State 1998 game. I could never beat the Buckeyes. 

But somehow Nick Saban, the Genghis Khan of college football, did. Ohio State was a 28-point favorite that day. The 90’s were just an era of disappointment for some of the most talented teams in program history. 

I’m glad I’m too young to remember. 

3) Draymond Green

Is there a basketball player that Ohioans hate more than Draymond Green? 

When the Cavaliers battled the Warriors for NBA titles, Green had a way of getting under everyone’s skin. It’s his aggressive play and even more aggressive mouth that’s helped him win three NBA championships. That and playing on the most loaded team in NBA history. 

Why didn't he just stick it out at tight end? 

2) Conner Cook 

Conner Cook’s NFL career has been a dud, but he was a pretty good college quarterback. That’s not the reason he’s on the list, though. 

This is. 

I don’t care if he apologized, when you disrespect Archie, you deserve a Bama beatdown. And he got it.

1)  Michael Geiger 

Most people don’t know this guy by name. 

They do, however, know his stupid air guitar celebration after beating Ohio State in 2015. 

Fun fact, today is his birthday. I hope its miserable.

View 67 Comments