10 Reasons to Hate Nebraska

By JL Kirven on September 27, 2019 at 7:30 pm
10 Reasons to hate Nebraska.
Patrick Gorski-USA TODAY Sports

Other than being Ohio State’s toughest challenge so far, here’s 10 reasons to hate the Cornhuskers.

10. Larry the Cable Guy 

We’ve got a long list here so let’s get 'er done. 

*Cricket chirps*

It wasn’t funny there and it wasn’t funny then. “ Get 'er done” is the corny catchphrase from America’s favorite redneck comedian, Larry the Cable Guy – Pawnee City, Nebraska native, and Nebraska booster. 

Do you know what’s really comical? 

Nebraska’s chances on Saturday.

9. Corn 

I like corn. I like it on the cob. I like it grilled, popped and creamed. 

It’s a wonderful vegetable, but a god-awful mascot. 

Have you ever dehusked corn? There will be few times that you’ll look more ridiculous in the kitchen than the sight of you trying to pinch off that last remaining piece of fuzz off raw corn, but Nebraska fans love it. 

So much in fact, they’ll go out in public wearing these. 

8. Ndamukong Suh 

We all want our defensive linemen to be nasty, but not dirty. 

And whether it's stepping on Aaron Rodgers or clotheslining Jay Cutler, Nebraska alum Ndamukong Suh is as dirty as they come. 

7. 2011 

Few times have I ever cried over an Ohio State loss. To this day I’m still bitter about this one. 

Keep in mind, a 13-year old J.L. had seen his share of Buckeye beatdowns. Florida, LSU... Texas. 

But come on, Nebraska?

It had already been a long season, Ohio State was reeling from the effects of the NCAA sanctions and the Buckeyes were coming off a frustrating 10-7 loss to Michigan State. 

Still hopes to salvage the mess were high as the Buckeyes led the Big Ten’s latest addition 27-6 early in the third quarter. 

But y’all know what happened next. 

The Huskers score 28 unanswered and my remote had a chip in it after crashing against the TV set. 

6. Big 12 roots 

Do you really consider Nebraska a part of the Big Ten, or did they just marry themselves into the family?

Nebraska is considered one of the more historic and beloved football programs in all of college football, but nearly all of that history was before the Cornhuskers joined the Big Ten. 

I mean, do they really even have a Big Ten rival? Not really. 

Nebraska is like the new kid in class that only talks about what they did at their old school. 

5. The weather 

One nice thing about Ohio is the weather isn’t too bad. 

I know it's random, but let’s be real – it’s not too dangerous. It doesn't get as cold as Michigan or Wisconsin and earthquakes, hurricanes and tropical storms aren’t an issue. 

Nebraska, though does have to keep the weather channel ready. The storms are strong and the state is technically in tornado alley. 

4. They stole Scott Frost from the "champs"

Nebraska went out and stole former alum Scott Frost after he won UCF a “National Championship.” 

And now the Black Nights have lost their magic and are losing to Pitt, of all teams, just so Nebraska can enjoy a slightly improved version of mediocrity. That’s messed up. 

3. Omaha 

Omaha was only cool when Peyton Manning said it like 12,531 times a game. 

It's a subpar city, at best, yet Nebraskans hype it like it rivals New York City or Chicago.

2. Not my GOAT 

ESPN and Bleacher Report have both made lists of the greatest college football teams of all time and both had an edition of the Cornhuskers at the top. ESPN said the 1971 Huskers were the best and BR went with the Tom Osbourne led Huskers, who ruled the 90s. 

I’m not a hater (contrary to my weekly articles) but I don’t agree. Personally, I believe the 2001 Miami Hurricanes are the best college football team ever assembled (and of course, the Buckeyes downed a number of those players a year later), but I also feel that the 1968 and 2015 Ohio State Buckeyes would hold its own with Nebraska. 

1) Lil Red 

At various times of writing this article, this popped into my head and caused me to break out into uncontrollable laughter. 

Seriously what the heck is that? Child labor is what it is. 

View 56 Comments