First off, an apology. Today the only fake news here is the title. There will be no surrealist, absurdist, dadaist humor or parodies of popular fantasy films starring Buckeye football players, there will be no (oddly believable) stories about what death machine Jim Harbaugh just built in his backyard using old milk cartons. Today is a special day. Today is the start of a new Buckeye season.

So today in lieu of the usual fake news, I want to speak briefly about what being a Buckeye fan means to me, a person who's never even set foot in the state of Ohio (who, coincidentally, was actually born in Kokomo, Indiana, and thus has more of a direct connection to today's opponents).

My dad is the reason I'm a Buckeye. He's the reason my brothers are Buckeyes, even though none of us attended or even applied for school at Ohio State. Without any hesitation I can say my father has always been a wonderful, caring, and supportive person, to whom I owe (along with my mother) absolutely everything. I wouldn't be where I am now without his support. But all that said, we don't see eye to eye on everything these days, and we don't talk as often as we should--I blame myself for that, as I've become part of an awesome literary community here in Miami I've let distance grow between me and my family back in Niceville.

But there's one thing that has never changed, one thing me and my dad have always--and will always--have in common. When the Ohio State Buckeyes step out onto the field, we're united by our shared love for the game and for the tradition of excellence, as well as our mutual disdain for the University of Michigan, or if you prefer, (and you probably do), That Team Up North.

That's all I have to say. Next week the Fake News will resume as usual, and I'll try to make up for this week's interruption with an extra large edition if my time allows. Until then, Go Buckeyes, Beat Indiana, and as always, We Don't Give a Damn About the Whole State of Michigan!

Or as my dad likes to say: "Go on Buckeyes, SHUT EM DOWN!!"