Many an Ohioan has grown up learning, or perhaps they are born with, a deep despise of ttun. But, I raise the question, maybe a dangerous question, what is there to really hate about ttun? Now, before you question my loyalty to the great Ohio State Bukeyes, allow me to explain.

*ichigan, some might say, is a college football powerhouse. However, the days of that wretched team resembling anything close to a powerhouse have been over for quite some time. A team that claims to be a rival of the great and powerful Ohio State Buckeyes has only managed 2 wins against them since 2001, one of which came by a measly 6 points to one of the worst OSU teams in the last 20 years. Not to mention this win happened while they were ranked #15. This "powerhouse" has one championship since 1948(a gallon of gas costed $0.16, just in case you didnt realize how damn long ago that is), while their rival claimed has claimed 7 since. Ttun has only 3 heisman winners, while their rival has 7. Yet, somehow ttun considers themselves equals to Ohio State, and somehow they consider themselves a powerhouse.

While ttun has been nothing more than mediocre for years, they seem(or so they think) to have finally regained their status as a powerhouse. And yet, without any verification of success coming by way of wins against their own rival, their fans have already begun to place themselves on the level of a championship caliber program like The Ohio State University. Every year they tell themselves "this is the year we finally beat OSU again" and every year they go to sleep with maize and blue tears streaming down their faces wondering why the football gods have cast such a curse upon them, damning them to the fate of being second to their rival one again. But, every so often, they receive a glimmer of hope. Much like that dark day on Nov. 16, 2011 when the football gods played a terrible joke on ttun by granting them one win against a struggling Ohio State team, only to lead the great Urban Meyer to their rival not long after. Thus detroying what little hope they had gained from the small victory. But alas, the football gods were not done, they played another cruel joke on those fans from up north by giving them another glimmer of hope in the way of a Jim Harbaugh. This thing, known as a Jim Harbaugh, was said to have great knowledge of football, even said to have the power to defeat the great Urban Meyer. However, the football gods were not so kind to those up north, as this creature failed, like so many had before, to take down the great Ohio State. Left to dig for gold in dark places, and jump from house to house sleeping on the beds of players, the Harbaugh has managed to somehow maintain the hope of the foolish team up north, despite its desperate attempts to stay relevant. But, as history tells us, ttun, and the Jim Harbaugh, will inevitably fail once again.

So, I present to you the question, why hate *ichigan? Hate should be reserved for an opponent that actually stands a chance, an opponent who has proven themselves to be worthy of your competition. *ichigan has given us nothing to hate, for they have taken very little from us, and have little to lose. I do not hate *ichigan, I pity the fool for believing they have warranted my hate.