So, yesterday, my DirecTV melted down. Error report, nothing working, the whole nine. Called customer service, tried not to freak out given the stakes. They tried to help, no dice - but, no problem. They are fed exing me a new receiver. Arrived this morning. 

Set it up - different error. Call customer service. Wind up in India. Trouble communicating. Bounced to new person. On the phone for 2 hours. It's not fixable - it's the dish. Earliest appointment: January 5.

I lose my s*it. Total rant. Tell them I'm done - contract is over anyway, turn it off, I don't want it any more. This is strike 16 or 17 with those bastards. I didn't throw anything, but that's about all I can say about my behavior.

I'm off the phone, sitting on the couch, head in my hands, contemplating this evening.

Wife walks in, hands me a piece of paper with passwords on it. While I was melting down, she signed me up for Sling on Amazon and already ensured that we could see ESPN. By the time my tantrum was over, problem already solved.

Moral of the story: 1) DirecTV sucks. 2) Marry well.