This week’s edition of Under the Fedora is jughandle-free. And if you’ve ever driven in Jersey, you’re welcome.
Garden Statement
Ohio State played a game in New Jersey on Saturday. They won. No one is talking about it, presumably because J.T. Barrett ran the offense with such mind-numbing efficiency that nobody had anything to complain about. And the defense nearly posted a shut-out of what had been a pretty potent offense, and nobody had anything to complain about. And those grumpy old men in their colonial garb finally got to shoot their cannon, so nobody had anything to complain about (though I’m still a little unclear on what the minutemen had to do with the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, but hey, they have a cannon, so it’s cool). Or maybe it’s because Urban Meyer appeared on some TV show and everyone lost their minds.
This Week’s Non-political #Hottakes
Cardale Jones, paradoxically, was replaced by J.T. Barrett in part because he was too conservative in his play. Meanwhile, Urban Meyer finally showed his true colors by appearing on O’Reilly Charlie Rose anyone who would give him airtime to plug his new book. Shouldn’t he be out recruiting, or figuring out how to get Braxton Miller more touches? Discuss.
J.T. and the Browns
And in this week’s unasked for (and largely unread) hot #Browns take: I’m not sure what to say about the Browns at this point, except that it needs to be Johnny Time. You will notice that I capitalized Johnny Time, because if it isn’t already trademarked, it should be, because Johnny Time is going to be the Next Great Thing. You may have noticed that the initials of Johnny Time are J.T., lending further support to the idea that Johnny Time will be Awesome Sauce, because it just has to be. Full disclosure: I was not an advocate of the Browns drafting Johnny. However, I was always of the opinion that he would be a great pro quarterback—in Canada. The jury is still out on whether the current placeholder Josh McCown will be ready to play on Sunday, but unless the Browns have already decided that Johnny can’t cut it as an NFL starter, there is absolutely no reason for them not to play him until the end of the season, or until his next Act of Mind-Boggling Stupidity, whichever comes first. In other Browns news, the Browns lost again in a typically inexplicable manner to the Arizona Cardinals this coming Sunday. You heard it here first.
TL;DR: It’s really not that long this week, just read it.
