The Hodgepodge: Ohio State Has One of the Nation's Best Defenses, The Ann Arbor Astros Crush the Trivia-Challenged Spartans, Explaining a Potential Big Ten Tiebreaker

By Garrick Hodge on October 23, 2023 at 3:42 pm
Jim Harbaugh
Nick King/Lansing State Journal / USA TODAY NETWORK
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Following his seventh straight loss to Ohio State, Penn State coach James Franklin was all-too-complimentary of the Buckeyes after their defense suffocated the Nittany Lions in a 20-12 win at Ohio Stadium Saturday.

“I’m not sure if we didn’t watch two of the best teams in college football,” Franklin said, later acknowledging he moreso meant it from a defensive perspective. 

While the quote is somewhat self-serving, considering it’s right from the “prop up your opponent to make the loss more respectable” playbook, it’s hard not to appreciate how damn talented both of these teams’ defenses are. 

We covered the playmakers on both teams at length in the week leading up to the matchup, but ultimately, Ohio State suffocated both the Penn State run game and Drew Allar until garbage time, holding the Nittany Lions to 1-of-16 on third down. Jim Knowles took Franklin and PSU offensive coordinator Mike Yurcich to the woodshed Saturday and earned his damn paycheck as his defense held the Nittany Lions to 240 total offensive yards. Until PSU’s final drive of the game, Marvin Harrison Jr. was only six yards away from outgaining the Nittany Lions by himself. 

Speaking of Harrison Jr., the talented wideout showed why he’s a legit candidate to earn a Heisman Trophy nomination after catching 11 passes for 162 yards and a touchdown, most of that coming against Penn State cornerback Kalen King, a potential first-round NFL Draft pick. He did this all without Emeka Egbuka playing, who usually helps take some of the defense’s attention away from Harrison Jr. 

Through seven games this season, Ohio State’s offense is talented yet showcases obvious flaws. Its defense, on the other hand, is, at worst, a top-five unit nationally and, at best, can make an argument it should be No. 1. 

The Buckeyes now have two top-10 victories on the season, and if they can survive in Madison, have a pretty clear road map to an 11-0 record yet again ahead of their biggest game of the year.

Ohio State spotlight of the week: Not having a massive letdown 

Pretty self-explanatory. 

As we saw from Washington and North Carolina on Saturday, the contest immediately following a massive victory can be Trap Game City.

While the Badgers are without their starting quarterback, Camp Randall Stadium is a hostile environment, Luke Fickell is a competent coach and Ohio State has been prone to slow starts offensively so far this season. 

It wouldn’t be all that surprising if the Buckeyes stumble out of the gate for a quarter or two against Wisconsin. Ohio State just has to ensure it doesn’t turn into anything more than that. It likely won’t considering the Buckeyes are the more talented team on paper by a mile, but stranger things have happened.

Ann Arbor Astros blow out trivia-challenged Spartans

What a hell of a week for message board posters!

Two days before Michigan and Michigan State’s rivalry game, Ross Dellenger of YahooSports reported that the NCAA has opened an investigation into Michigan about alleged illegal in-person scouting of opponents. One day later, a Big Ten coach told Dellenger that Michigan analyst Connor Stalions “spearheads the operation.” Stalions has since scrubbed all of his social media accounts and been suspended with pay by Michigan.

ESPN’s Pete Thamel followed with a report on Friday with a source saying the Wolverines used an “elaborate” scouting system to steal signs from opponents since 2021 and that the NCAA enforcement staff sought access to Stalions’ computer as part of the investigation. And get a load of this quote from a Big Ten source.  

"This is worse than both the Astros and the Patriots — it's both use of technology for a competitive advantage and there's allegations that they are filming prior games, not just in-game," a Big Ten source told ESPN. "If it was just an in-game situation, that's different. Going and filming somewhere you're not supposed to be. It's illegal. It's too much of an advantage."

Random Big Ten staffer’s words, not mine. But this is a weekly college football column designed to be fun and a timesuck, so to play along, we will be referring to Michigan as the Ann Arbor Astros for the rest of the season until further notice. 

Why on earth the Ann Arbor Astros would need an elaborate system to steal signs from the likes of East Carolina, UNLV, Bowling Green, Rutgers, Nebraska, Minnesota, Indiana and Michigan State considering the talent disparity is beyond comprehension, but here we are.

The Big Ten informed Michigan State Wednesday of the investigation concerning Michigan, and apparently the Spartans were so appalled they considered not playing the contest and cited “health and safety” as the main concern. Kind of hilarious considering what happened in the tunnel in Ann Arbor after last year, but alas.  

Turns out Michigan State really didn’t have any interest in playing the game anyway. 

Initially, I thought nobody would be happier than the Spartans that news of the scandal broke this week ahead of a prime-time game since it would take attention away from the Mel Tucker fiasco. Instead, not only did Michigan State resemble a team that didn’t even know its own signals, it put more references to Adolf Hitler on its scoreboard than it did points in a 49-0 drubbing by the Ann Arbor Astros, the worst home loss by the Spartans in the 100-year history of Spartan Stadium. 

Unfortunately, that’s not a typo. An image of Hitler made its way onto the jumbotron in pregame warmups with a question of the former Nazi dictator’s birthplace being presented as part of a trivia game MSU apparently stole from some YouTuber. The Spartans issued an apology midgame and eventually suspended an unnamed staff member.

In case you’re wondering, that’s now two staffers suspended from the Michigan schools in a three-day period, though it’s unclear whether the employee MSU suspended will receive pay like Stalions.

We’ll see what comes from the NCAA investigation into the Ann Arbor Astros (very likely nothing until the offseason at the earliest), but in the meantime, their future opponents might want to start working on changing their signals around.

By the way, for the "where's the evidence" crowd, looks like the NCAA may have found a smoking gun per a ESPN report on Monday.

An FYI on Big Ten tiebreakers

Leading up to the Penn State game, the 11W beat team was naturally curious about the tiebreaker for a potential three-way tie for the Big Ten East, in the scenario that PSU, OSU and the Ann Arbor Astros all split with each other but each finish 11-1. 

Long story short, should that scenario occur, it will come down to the combined conference record of the trio’s B1G West opponents.

From the Big Ten tiebreaking procedures, you have to go down to the fifth tiebreaker before you’d find some separation. 

“The records of the three (or more) teams will be compared based on the best cumulative conference winning percentage of non-divisional opponents.”

If that’s somehow tied, then we move to tiebreaker No. 6. From an OSU perspective, it essentially comes down to rooting for Wisconsin (except this week, obviously) and rooting against Iowa. 

“The records of the three (or more) teams will be compared against the highest placed non-divisional teams in their division order of finish (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7).”

We’ll turn this into a weekly segment until it’s no longer relevant (AKA if the Ann Arbor Astros beat Penn State), but for now, here’s the combined Big Ten record of the West opponents of OSU, PSU and the AAA.

  • Ann Arbor Astros: Minnesota, Purdue, Nebraska: 5-7 
  • OSU: Purdue, Wisconsin, Minnesota: 6-6
  • Penn State: Northwestern, Illinois, Iowa: 5-9

Ohio State leads the tiebreaker for now, and Penn State did itself no favors by both losing to the Buckeyes and having all three of its Big Ten West foes fall on Saturday. We’ll see if this is even relevant on Nov. 11 when PSU faces the Ann Arbor Astros, but of course, OSU simply running the table would be the easiest solution.

And then there were 9

Past the season’s halfway point, nine out of 133 FBS teams are still undefeated. 

Big Ten: Ohio State (7-0), Michigan (8-0)

Big 12: Oklahoma (7-0)

ACC: Florida State (6-0)

SEC: Georgia (7-0)

Pac-12: Washington (7-0)

Group of Five: Liberty (7-0), James Madison (7-0), Air Force (7-0)

What was fun and what was wacky about Week 8

Week 8 had a lot of things that were fun

  • LSU’s Jayden Daniels is becoming must-see TV every week. 
  • You likely saw it live, but this catch further exemplifies that Marvin Harrison Jr. is a magician.  
  • Fun play design here by Wisconsin with 30 seconds remaining to secure a go-ahead touchdown against Illinois and revenge against Bert.
  • Shoutout to Toledo, who won the Fun Group Of Five Teams game of the week with a narrow 21-17 win over Miami (OH). 
  • Kyle Whittingham is the early frontrunner for quote of the year.
  • Speaking of Whittingham, this is next-level gamesmanship. The Utes have to feel good about owning the Trojans the last few seasons before each go their separate ways next year.
  • Duke ultimately lost by three scores, but it led against Florida State for the first time since 2001. The poor Blue Devils had not had a single lead against the Seminoles in 11 straight games. With the loss, Duke fell to 0-20 all-time against FSU. 
  • Welcome to WWE Smackdown, college football edition.
  • We’ve got an incredible slow-moving catch here. 
  • This play call from USC is pretty crafty. 
  • Nevada is no longer winless! It secured a (checks notes) 6-0 victory over San Diego State. 
  • Is there anything more Big Ten than a milking the cow celebration? 

Week 8 had a lot of whacky things too

  • Oh, you thought Ohio State vs. Penn State was a defensive struggle? Wait until you see this box score from Mississippi State vs. Arkansas, oh baby. Final score: Mississippi State 7, Arkansas 3. Neither team’s quarterback hit the 100-yard mark. MSU had 205 total yards, Arkansas had 200. The Razorbacks averaged 2.9 yards per play on 68 plays. It was so bad Arkansas fired offensive coordinator Dan Enos Sunday and promoted former Buckeye quarterback Kenny Guiton on an interim basis.
  • In a score as beautiful as 7-3, you’d expect some whacky things. I present one of the worst snaps ever seen by mankind.
  • Where else other than college football would you get a storyline so perfectly whacky like this?
  • Whoever was in charge of directing the James Madison vs. Marshall broadcast for ESPN made a very grave (but hilarious) mistake. 
  • North Carolina had a clear path to an undefeated regular season. Then what does it do? Goes out and loses to one-win Virginia at home.
  • Washington did everything it could to risk its undefeated season, including committing four turnovers as Michael Penix’s Heisman Trophy odds took a massive nosedive. Fortunately for the Huskies, Arizona State’s kicker had two left feet en route to missing 43 and 31-yard field goals and quarterback Trenton Bourguet threw a regrettable pick-six while in the redzone. Washington won 15-7. 
  • Blaming officials for losses is 99/100 times the ballad of the loser, but this no-call raises a few eyebrows.
  • What is this two-point conversion attempt supposed to be?
  • Someone give a hug to No. 8 on Washington State. 
  • Following USC’s last-second loss to Utah, the Trojans declined to make any player available to the media after the game. As some USC reporters chimed in, it’s the first time within a 20-year timeframe the program has done that. Maybe Lou Holtz’s comments from earlier this season would be better directed to a program out west. 
  • Alex Grinch’s defense allowed 485 yards and 34 points to a safety playing running back and a former walk-on quarterback en route to seeing their CFP dreams end.
  • It was entirely predictable some cheap shots would inevitably occur in the Michigan State and Ann Arbor Astros game, but it’s still unfortunate to see stuff like this.
  • Oh sure, Mario Cristobal, you take a knee when you have a chance to win a game in regulation if you can get a couple of first downs, not when it guarantees you victory. 
  • Apparently, this wasn’t supposed to be an RPO by Clemson, and it sure looked like it wasn’t designed that way on the final play of the Tigers’ loss.
  • Yikes, Dabo. 
  • This field goal attempt for Ole Miss could have gone better. 
  • Sometimes you’re your own worst enemy. 

Nepotism tracker 

Call the National Guard. Call for an immediate investigation into the Big Ten officiating offices. 

We had highway robbery occur in Iowa City Saturday, with Cooper DeJean's go-ahead 54-yard punt return touchdown with less than 90 ticks left getting called back after DeJean’s waving motion with his hand was deemed a fair catch. 

Yes, it’s a call that eventually cost Iowa a victory against the Gophers in an eventual 12-10 defeat, but more importantly, it took away seven BIG points off the board from our pal Brian Ferentz when you had to have them. 

What are the Hawkeyes supposed to do? Drive a daunting 30 or so yards with a minute and a half left to get into field goal range and win anyway? Put DeJean, the most explosive player on the Hawkeyes, on offense, where there’s a slight chance it would take away from his special teams capabilities? 

Hell no. 

Never mind the fact that Iowa had two (TWO!) yards of total offense in the second half. Nevermind Iowa as a team had 28 carries for 11 yards for 0.4 yards per carry (!) on the day. 

And never mind its quarterback was 11 of 29 passing for 116 yards and an interception. At least the Hawkeyes are completing passes to receivers this week, that’s what we call progress.

We’re all going to be reeling from this one for a while. Thanks, Big Ten refs. 

(On an unfunny serious note that was the correct call per the rule of the letter and also a nice win for Minnesota to beat Iowa for the first time on the road since 1999).  

The goal: 325 points across 13 games, for an average of 25 points per game so Brian Ferentz can keep working for his dad. 

Last game: Minnesota 12, Iowa 10. My god, it’s so beautiful. 

Points tallied this season: 156

If the season ended today: Iowa would average 19.5 points per game. It’s looking pretty bleak for our beloved pal Brian right now, who needs to average 33.8 points per game for the rest of the season to fulfill his contract. 

Up next: Iowa has an off week, giving the mad scientist even more time to scheme explosive special teams plays that can do the offense’s heavy lifting. 

Game of the Week

No. 1 Georgia (7-0) at Florida (5-2) at 3:30 p.m. on CBS

Season record: 5-3-1

My pick: Florida +14.5

Breakdown: Maybe the dumbest thing I’ve ever done this year is roll with a Graham Mertz-led team to cover against the No. 1 team in the country. But we’re committed and we’re moving forward.

Georgia has only played two road games so far this season and has been slightly suspect both times, narrowly escaping Auburn and beating the worst team in the SEC by 17. Plus, its best player, tight end Brock Bowers, will not be available for this game, which drastically changes the Bulldogs’ offense. Both of these teams are coming off an off week, so the advantage is mitigated for both squads. 

It’s unlikely the Gators have the goods to pull off an outright upset of Georgia. But don’t be surprised if it’s a tightly contested fight throughout. 

Hodgepodge team classifiers after Week 8

CFP contenders: Ohio State, Michigan, Florida State, Georgia, Washington, Oklahoma

Better win out if you want to be in the CFP: Alabama, Utah, Texas, Oregon, Penn State, 

New Year’s Six Bowl contenders: Oregon State, Louisville, Air Force, Ole Miss, Liberty, North Carolina, Missouri, LSU, Notre Dame

Sorry bud, maybe you’ll get to the CFP next year if you can find a defense: USC

This team lost a game where all it needed was one kneel down: Miami

This team is still undefeated but ineligible for any postseason since it’s in its second year of transition to the FBS: James Madison

This team is bowl eligible but won’t play in a bowl because of the same dumb rule: Jacksonville State

Fun Group of Five teams: Wyoming, Tulane, UNLV, Toledo, Miami (OH), Fresno State, Ohio, Georgia State

One of these teams is really going to win the Big Ten West: Iowa, Wisconsin

These teams have had a fun year: Arizona, Kansas, UCLA, Duke, Rutgers, New Mexico State, SMU, Oklahoma State, BYU

These teams have not had a fun year: Clemson, Texas Tech, Baylor, Purdue, Illinois, Arizona State, Stanford, Pittsburgh, Virginia Tech, Arkansas, UCF, Cincinnati, South Carolina, Vanderbilt, Texas A&M, Cal, Auburn

Shoulder shrug: Iowa State, Kansas State, Houston, West Virginia, Kentucky, Syracuse, Colorado, North Carolina State, Wisconsin, Maryland, Florida, Boston College, Minnesota, Nebraska, Washington State, Mississippi State

The last remaining winless team in the FBS: Sam Houston State

Only a matter of time before walking papers are served: Indiana

There’s already an interim coach: Northwestern 

The coach is already fired, but somehow they also put more Hitler trivia questions on the board than points on Saturday: Michigan State

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