For the uninitiated, #OhioStateHateWeek is an annual tradition among Penn State fans on social media that basically boils down to a futile attempt to stoke the flames of a non-existant rivalry. (Walt's game poster succinctly summarizes that dynamic.)
And because Penn State isn't a rival of Ohio State's, browsing the hashtag this morning gave me great bemusement. But much like little kids committing petty crime to garner the attention of their emotionally unavailable father, it was almost heartbreaking.
Here are the best (worst?) tweets:
Urban Meyer doesn't get curly fries when he goes to Arby's #OhioStateHateWeek
— Evan (@midgoose26) October 24, 2014
The bigger crime here would be that Urban Meyer went to Arby's in the first place. #garbagefood
Urban Meyer hands out pretzel bags on halloween #OhioStateHateWeek
— Stephen George (@StephenGeorgeYo) October 23, 2014
OH YA? YOU LOOK LIKE A PRETZEL, STEPHEN. #salty
What does OSU and marijuana have in common? They both get smoked in bowls. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Matt Eppley (@_EPPIC) October 19, 2014
What do Penn State's most recent bowl victories have in common with a majority of houses in Detroit? They're vacated.
— Ryan J. Suto (@RyanJSuto) October 24, 2014
Noted: the last image of a Penn State victory over Ohio State is from 2008.
#OhioStateHateWeek brings me pure joy. I don't care how much they don't pay attention to us.
— Jackie Stare (@JStare) October 20, 2014
At least somebody here is honest.
— Sarah London (@LonDaddyy) October 20, 2014
That actually doesn't rhyme at all, Sarah.
— Dustin Morgan (@DMorggggg) October 24, 2014
Cardale Jones is a better tweeter than you will ever be, Dustin.
Tosu wears t-shirts when they go swimming. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Ryan Wetmore (@Wet_more) October 24, 2014
THIS ISN'T 1968; WHAT'S WRONG WITH WEARING A T-SHIRT IN THE POOL?
Urban Meyer has weak forearms. #OhioStateHateWeek
— D'Robbie Mitchell (@realrobmitchell) October 24, 2014
That's a low blow, D'Robbie!!
Ohio State eats unfrosted poptarts #OhioStateHateWeek
— Matt Grassucci (@mgrass11) October 24, 2014
They sell unfrosted poptarts?
Urban Meyer thinks the Sandlot 2 was better than the original Sandlot #OhioStateHateWeek
— Michael J. Higgins (@wordsofHIGGSdom) October 19, 2014
They made a Sandlot 2!?
— Marc Procopio (@Brocopio26) October 24, 2014
Apparently Penn State fans who can't hold their booze is a relatable meme in Happy Valley.
Urban Meyer went to Jupiter to get more stupider. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Jimmy Budnick (@PSUJBuds) October 24, 2014
Touché, Jimmy. This has always been a tough insult to crack.
JT Barrett for Heisman and this is why I dislike you, irrational Buckeye fans. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Vic Vinegar (@PSU_JJJ) October 19, 2014
Laugh now, cry later, baby.
The toughest thing about #OhioStateHateWeek is choosing words simple enough for their fans to understand.
— JoePa's Doghouse (@RowlffDogg) October 22, 2014
Here are some words Joe Pa never seemed to understand: systemic cover-up of serial child abuse.
Urban Meyer drinks Smirniff Ice because he likes the taste #OhioStateHateWeek
— kevin hulbert (@realkevhulbert) October 19, 2014
What in the hell is Smirniff?
Urban Meyer convinced Nickleback to start a band. #OhioStateHateWeek
— D'Robbie Mitchell (@realrobmitchell) October 23, 2014
Pretty sure Urban Meyer would be in prison if this were true.
— Brandon Edwards (@EdwardsOhio) October 27, 2013
Only one team was trash on that night, laur3n, and it wasn't Ohio State.
But, like all competitions, there can only be one tweet to rule them all. The Fake Lantern, the stage is yours:
Ok Fine, A Little Bit Of PSU Smack: You Know What Whiteout Is Used For, Right? Covering Up Huge Mistakes You Can't Erase #OhioStateHateWeek
— The Fake Lantern (@TheFakeLantern) October 22, 2014