Around the Oval

By Luke Zimmermann on September 27, 2011 at 5:00 pm
 Danielle Scoliere is Italian for Danielle Goal Scorer.Grey lettering on scarlet? Tell me more.

Ohio State operates the NCAA's second-largest athletic department. Eleven Warriors is committed to keeping you informed of what's happening with those sports that make Ohio State athletics more than just football and basketball. Around the Oval will be your weekly update on these teams.

No, I'm not your usual pilot, but rest assured, I come very equipped to land even the most sophisticated transcontinental aircraft. Jeremy's computer in essence did this, so whether you like it or not, I've commandeered our weekly reminder that sports beyond Ohio State football and basketball do in fact exist. They also merit our attention, applause, and can serve as excellent vehicles to remind us we attended and/or root for the finest intercollegiate athletic entity in the known universe (suck it Stanford, Texas).

To get ready for the herculean task of filling Mr. Birmingham's shoes, I took in a concert yesterday of evening of popular music buzz band Foster The People. Was it phenomenal? No. The band felt as a whole not unlike a high class casino act with the front man essentially being a karaoke fill-in who happened to be really adept at sounding passably like the guy from Foster The People. The set list was also identical verbatim to one I'd seen them play on an Austin City Limits Fest 2011 webcast I'd watched live two weekends ago which certainly didn't help. However, did the lead singer proclaim midshow that he hailed originally from Ohio? Naturally. In essence, this is the most Ohio1 thing to happen ever. Like everything in this life, you're never more than three degrees in any direction from someone with Ohio ties/roots. Look it up, learn it, live it.

As for the non-scholarship sports? Patience is a virtue. Please ensure your tray tables are in a secured and locked position. And... We're off.


Ohio State keeper Katie Baumgardner put on her Iker Casillas shorts and went to work posting a cleansheet Sunday afternoon in the OSU women's soccer team's 2-0 win over hapless Northwestern (they're hapless there too). The Buckeyes move to 7-3-1 on the season and keep their conference record spotless at 2-0-1. Tiffany Cameron set the tone of the Bucks Sunday afternoon when gaining control of a long service from Kristen Niederhaus and beating jNWU keeper Anna Cassell to give the Bucks the only goal they'd need for the afternoon. In the 76th, the Bucks decided to rub it in with Paige Maxell finding luck from just beyond the range Cameron's previous strike and doubling the tally to 2-0 on the afternoon. As icing on the cake, the Bucks happen to sport some of the sharpest kits in the conference with strong scarlet home shirts with interesting grey with black bordered numbers that should remind all that in spite of their shortcomings, occasionally Nike makes a net positive creative choice. This wraps up a week that saw the Buckeyes also take down Illinois in Columbus, 2-1. The women's soccer team next take on the Nittany Lions in Happy Valley before heading to Madison to do it up with Wisconsin. These two contests could effectively determine who can crown themselves as queens of B1G soccer in 2k11 with Wisconsin sharing the top of the table with a 7-3-1 mark of their own and the Lady Lions 9-3-0 with a 2-1-0 conference record. The Bucks will further have to be at the peak of their games as they're presently but 1-1-1 on the road this season.

As for their male counterparts, the Ohio State men face a monumental obstacle in their own right with Wednesday evening providing a trip to 5th ranked nationally perennial power Akron. While the Bucks are 1-0-0 in conference to this point, they're only 5-3-1 as a whole having not had the same kind of success outside of league play. The Bucks previous 2 out of conference matchups resulted in losses with the Bucks falling to Coastal Carolina in Conway, SC and coming up just short against Louisville in Columbus. But what with respect to their most immediate contest?

The Ohio State men had a contest Sunday of their own during which they hosted the traitorous Wolverines from a dark land unknown. Behind the excellence of Parnell Hegngi, the Bucks rallied back from a 1-0 defecit to level things late in the contest. Following a Michigan player (who's name we won't dare write out of respect to the children reading this) netting the go ahead goal, Hegngi struck home a ball into the back of the net to force an extra session. Just 34 seconds into the overtime period, however, citing genetic excellence as well as a hatred of tyranny, the younger Hegngi, Chris, played a ball from the right side of the penalty area and sent it top shelf right side to make everyone privileged enough to call themselves a Buckeye to smile but not immediately know why. And speaking of not giving any damns for the entire state of Michigan...


One day prior but certainly not underestimating what was at stake, the women's field hockey team faced 11th ranked Michigan. Junior Danica Deckard strapped a flame thrower to her arm in the form of a field hockey stick and personally went about seeing that the women Wolverine were set ablaze. Deckard's second goal game with but 1:32 remaining in the game blasting a shot high and to the top of the cage to end Michigan's four-game win streak and restore order to the galaxy as a whole. The Bucks can now stake claim to four of their last five meetings with Michigan. Deckard personally raises her goals scored on the season to four. This also marked the Bucks' first win against a ranked opponent this season having previously fallen at the hands of #15 Duke, #5 Syracuse, and #2 Old Dominion. The 5-5 Buckeyes look to make their neutral ways a thing of the past by defeating Ball State in Muncie this afternoon.

Your tears. They taste like candy.And on that day, zero damns were given.


Finally, I'd be remiss if I failed to acknowledge the braveness of Buckeye Outside hitter Emily Danks. Like yours truly, she hails from Austin, Texas. Unlike 99.9% of us, two of her brothers play professional baseball. In fact, one's a rather respectable major leaguer. Emily herself appears destined for great things as the junior posted a career high 13.5 points in a closer than it appeared 3-1 defeat at the hands of 10th ranked Nebraska. The perennially strong Cornhuskers appear to have made the transition from Big XII play to B1G league play with great applomb dominating the 3rd set 11-25.

The Bucks will have the opportunity to rebound from the momentary setback by taking on Minnesota this Friday evening. The 8-3 Gophers are 1-1 on the season, tied with the Bucks in a 5-way tie for 4th but trailing the Bucks in total victories (OSU is 11-4 in aggregate).

That's it folks. I made it nearly 1200 words without mentioning college football's alleged answer to Dexter. Your regularly scheduled pilot resumes his duties (tech permitting) next week. See you on the otherside.

"Physical" humor aside, j'adore footnotes. Miss u DFW.

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