Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on May 12, 2014 at 6:00 am
Ice skating on Mirror Lake, 1956 via The Ohio State Library
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The big event over the weekend was the (seemingly) 400-hour NFL Draft. It was a return to glory of sorts for the OSU-to-NFL pipeline. I, for one, am still riding the high of Johnny Manziel belonging to the Dawg Pound. Somebody hit me with a brick as a reality check, please.

  • All of Eleven Warriors' coverage of the event can be found at our slick 2014 NFL Draft hub

AN UPDATE ON SMOOTH JAZZ. As of this writing, NFL teams have yet to realize a diamond in the dirt — career backup and rock star Kenny Guiton — is there for the taking:

The false hope rally that was Guiton-to-the-Vikings appears to have been started by Shane P. Hallam's tweet, or at least he was the one that gave credence to something that appeared almost as soon as the draft ended. (Believe me, I was watching a "Kenny Guiton" search stream for about two hours post-draft.)  Such is life on the internet in 2014.

I did have a dream Saturday night Kenny Guiton had been picked up by the Cincinnati Bengals, and it's still something that chills my heart. Kenny Guiton leading the Cincinnati Bengals to the Super Bowl would be like eating a Caniac laced with rat poison. Talk about bitter-sweet.

But hey, why am I giving the odious Mike Brown an idea to recoup the goodwill of Buckeye fans after he drafted Jeremy Hill over Carlos Hyde? SOMEBODY GET ME JIMMY HASLAM'S CRIMINAL BATLINE TracPhone.

AWW, BUDDY. THE OSU D-LINE IS STACKED. That's probably something you already knew, but here's a headline from Dane Brugler at CBS Sports I didn't expect to see:

2015 NFL mock draft: Big Ten, ACC prospects lead the way

The ACC, by the way, was second only to the SEC in NFL draft picks. The Big Ten finished fourth, behind the Pac-12.

Anyway — the specter of the demise of Big Ten football aside — here's what ol' Brugler has prophesied for 2015:

10. Detroit Lions -- Michael Bennett, DT, Ohio State: With Nick Fairley expected to test the free agent waters, Bennett could be a possible long-term replacement.

[...]

22. Philadelphia Eagles -- Noah Spence, DE, Ohio State: The Eagles admittedly reached a tad to get the next best rusher this year in the first round (Marcus Smith), but Philadelphia's pass rush woes are far from solved.

That'd raise the first round talents on last year's defense to four, and that's not including likely-2016 Top 10 pick/budding Pokémaster Joey Bosa.

Christian Bryant must be the greatest football player in the world, because the wheels fell off the bus when he went down.

MAMA ROBY IS GOOD PEOPLE. Here's a good find on Roby's relationship with his mother, via Gray Box

From The Denver Post:

"My mom looked at the high school I was going to go to, and it was a high school that had a lot of trouble and gang violence and fights, and academics weren't good," Roby said. "Sports weren't that good. My best friend was actually going to Peachtree Ridge, and (Betty) was like, 'Do you want to go there?' I was like, 'No, I don't want to go there. I don't want to leave my friends.' But she said, 'No this is a better decision for you.' "

At Peachtree Ridge, Bradley maintained a 3.85 grade-point average and posted excellent SAT and ACT scores. That, coupled with his starring role as a football wide receiver for the powerhouse Peachtree Ridge Lions, drew him early recruiting interest from such schools as Vanderbilt. He played for Lions coach Bill Ballard, who sat him down before his senior season and suggested his future might be brighter as a defensive back.

[...]

"She's very tough, but she's a loving mother," Roby said. "She loves me unconditionally."

Speaking of mothers... yesterday was Mother's Day... did you degenerates call your mama? You know you don't do it enough. She's very worried about you and what hijinks you may have gotten into over the weekend. Please give her the peace of mind you're not in custody of the county.

BUCKS STILL SITTING PRETTY WITH GIBSON. Torrance Gibson is the No. 1 dual-threat quarterback in the 2015 class. Ohio State is currently sitting fourth on his list, but that's apparently not as ominous as it sounds.

Via Jonping67, and from our old friend Miles, comes this sit-down about that list with the athletic dynamo at SB Nation:

Ohio State: "Coach Urban Meyer and Tom Herman, the offensive coordinator. They run a spread-type offense that fits me well. A lot of people say Ohio State fits me better than any other school. The only reason they're fourth is because I didn't visit during the spring and didn't get to sit down with the coaches. The main reason they're at four is because I haven't visited."

We all know Urban will bring the juice once he gets Gibson on campus. It will be interesting, however, to see how involved Herman is with Gibson's recruitment going forward. I only type that because I think there's a better chance of me coaching Gibson at Ohio State than Herman.

Above all else, though, I  hope Gibson doesn't end up at Tennessee, because that fanbase strikes me as obnoxiously arrogant for a team that hasn't been relevant since the turn of the millennium. 

The Volunteer fans I've bickered with on Twitter have all been way too proud about getting a mudhole stomped in their ass annually by the likes of LSU and Alabama. FIFTH PLACE IN THE SEC... ROCKY TOP, BABY!

DAMNIT, RUTGERS. This is becoming a constant refrain, no? 

From Deadspin:

Former Minnesota quarterback and current Rutgers transfer Philip Nelson has been arrested for allegedly assaulting another football player, leaving the man in critical condition. The police scanner audio provides some awful details about the incident.

The 20-year-old Nelson was charged with third-degree assault and underage consumption of alcohol in Mankato, Minn. early this morning. The victim was former Minnesota State-Mankato linebacker Isaac Kolstad, who is in critical condition at a nearby hospital.

From the police scanner recording, Nelson kicked Kolstad in the head twice. The officers on the scene said that Kolstad had been unresponsive for about 10 minutes.

Obviously, this isn't the institution's faul—wait, what's that Mr. Winston? You have something to say, via USA Today, about your son's recent citation for stealing crab legs?

Those close to the quarterback say the citation, for which he has performed 20 hours of community service, is the honest mistake of a college kid adjusting to the intense spotlight. If he wasn't aware of its glare, he should be now, they say.

"We hope so," Antonor Winston tells USA TODAY Sports. "Not only him. I think it should show the university and us, I think we probably kind of dropped the ball on that a little bit."

[...]

"He's supposed to have somebody around him 24/7," says Antonor Winston. "He a Heisman Trophy winner so (he's) definitely not supposed to be by (himself)."

Antonor Winston must've graduated with honors from Ken Small's School of Passing the Parental Buck. I'm rather surprised its doors are still open considering Ken Small's progeny is cooling his heels in the clink for the next four years.

THOSE WMDs. I had to zap Mike Rosenberg (and defend Tressel's honor) over the weekend... Vin Scully is not a fan of Adolph Hitler... Yessir, Jonathan Newsome!... Crossbow, nunchucks among 46 weapons inside coffin found in Florida... An interactive visualization of baby names in the United States by year.... Police praised for rescuing tiny dog from busy California highway... League 1 semi-final goal is RIDICULOUS... Browns fan in Eric Metcalf jersey reacts to Manziel pick... 

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