Hide the kids, hide the wife: It's a grown man banger in the semifinals of perhaps the most stacked region in the tournament.
All four have blazed a path to the Sweet 16, but only two will remain after this. Can Tecumseh topple the 18th President of the United States, Ulysses S. Grant, or is a U.S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman throwdown all but assured?
Oddsmakers say it's #2 William Tecumseh Sherman who will be the toughest out, but John Glenn could be the darkest horse remaining.
#1 Ulysses S. Grant vs. #4 Tecumseh
Ulysses S. Grant: Former Supreme Commander of the United States Army, Ulysses S. Grant was instrumental in securing the B1G's first and only Civil War championship over the SEC.
Not satisfied with merely being reveled as he drank his way to the grave, Grant ventured into politics and became the nation's 18th president.
Paul Tibbets, the pilot of the Enola Gay, was no match for Grant in the first round. The man who made Robert E. Lee bend his knee advanced by a score of 1,188 to 63. The nation's 27th president, #8 William Howard Taft, was no match in the second round either; Grant trounced him with 89% of the vote.
Tecumseh: Native american icon and folk legend, Tecumseh, has the oldest Ohio roots in the tournament. The Shawnee chief spear-headed the formation of a Native American Confederacy in order to resist the American government's expansion into Ohio.
Tecumseh was also the first Ohioan to sack Michigan, as he was instrumental in the capture of Fort Detroit in the War of 1812. Had his brother, ironically-named the Prophet, not picked a fight with William Henry Harrison at Tippecanoe, American history could have been written with a much different pen. Tecumseh was slain in the Battle of the Thames in 1813.
In the first round, Tecumseh tattooed militant abolitionist John Brown, 907-339. His round two foe, the decadent #12 Warren G. Harding, was conquered with a score of 705-303.
#2 William Tecumseh Sherman vs. #3 John Glenn
William Tecumseh Sherman: A Big Ten and Ohio legend, Sherman replaced Ulysses S. Grant as Supreme Commander of the United States Army. A supreme tactician, it was Sherman who convinced Grant to let him deviate from the script and bring total war to Georgia. He said he could make Georgia howl, and boy, he was not wrong.
With people dismayed over Grant's grind-it-out style, it was Sherman's scorched-earth March to the Sea that finally broke the Confederacy's back.
Sherman treated his round one foe, abolitionist and Underground Railroad conductor, John Rankin, like he was Savannah, Georgia; Sherman bulldozed him, 1,440-114. Sherman continued his March to the Finals with a resounding victory in round two, defeating #7 George Custer, 935-91.
John Glenn: John Glenn is a former astronaut most famous for becoming the first person to orbit the earth in 1962. He is the only surviving member of the Mercury Seven, the program NASA used to train elite astronauts for orbit.
Two weeks after President Kennedy's assassination, Glenn returned to his home state to run for senate. It's a position he held from 1974 until his retirement in 1999. He is one of the most beloved politicians to this day.
Woman's suffragette Victoria Woodhull was no match for Glenn's prowess in the first round. Glenn rolled to a 1,171-83 victory. The former astronaut continued his smooth orbit in round two, defeating #11 President McKinley with 87.44% of the vote.