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I hate to beat a cow when it's down but.....

allinosu's picture
August 12, 2014 at 8:39am

I was watching BTN this morning which was featuring Michigan and noticed cHoke is getting bigger. He looks like one pork chop away from a heart attack. I never wondered until this morning if he was married. Her name is Laura and is normal sized so I wondered what is the attraction. For her I have no idea but for him it was probably her middle name (Homberger) which probably overwhelmed him. Then it hit me that she is probably working with the university to give him that heart attack so she is off the hook and they don't have the embarrassment of another firing. So now I want to formally begin the "SAVE cHOKE" movement. Everybody's support will be greatly appreciated.

allinosu's picture

They will never be threat with as coach.

-10 HS
jedkat's picture

"Can we please stop the message board fighting? I really can't stand the message board fighting..."

"No. You're an idiot, and your posts are terrible."

+19 HS
acBuckeye's picture

The first one above made me laugh. I lost it when I saw it the second time. Well done Jed.

+2 HS
Oyster's picture

How does he (and Charlie Weis) tell players to Run Faster, Stop Walking, Why Are You So Winded and the obvious You Need To Lose A Few Pounds with any credibility?

When you reach for that ball under a pine tree, do you ever think about who just peed there a little while ago?

+2 HS
bucks4nuts's picture


"To The House"

awlinBrutus's picture

to be fair they are not D1 football players. generally speaking it hurts their credibility a bit I think. kind of hypocritical if you are totally over the top like mangini and Ralph Friedgen unless there's a medical reason. I think the OP is being a little harsh, some people really struggle with their weight.


mh277907's picture

We get it: he's fat. I think we can cool the jets on the 'heart attack' talk.


+18 HS
southbay's picture

Agreed, and I would also suggest leaving Coach Hoke's wife out of any discussions here.

+14 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

But Jen Bielema is fair game!

+18 HS
Oyster's picture

Don't point out hypocrisy, people don't appreciate that.

When you reach for that ball under a pine tree, do you ever think about who just peed there a little while ago?

+8 HS
What Would Troy Smith Do's picture

It's not hypocrisy. She has put herself in the middle of it. Ive never even heard of Hoke's wife. Also, I might be the only one but i get a little tired of the fat jokes. They seem tired. Or maybe this post seemed mean spirited rather than funny.
Maybe I'm getting soft.

+10 HS
southbay's picture

I think there is a legitimate point to be made, and some have, that a Head Coach should be at least reasonably physically fit as they are asking players to be in top shape.  

I see other issues, such as game management, for TTUN fans to be concerned about.  Count me in with those who want to see things stay just as they are in Ann Arbor.

osu07asu10's picture

To my knowledge, we haven't seen Mrs. Hoke tweeting shots at Ball State or SDSU...

Jen brought it upon herself. No hypocrisy here.

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+6 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Hypothetically, if you were to picture another attractive woman - not Jen Bielema, who is married, etc. - would you "hit that" while she's wearing that pig snout?

InTressITrust's picture

Yes. Who doesn't have a pig fetish? 

"I'm not going to lie. We're anxious to be a part of a matchup like that. It's two states that love the game of football." -Jim Tressel

+3 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Who doesn't have a pig fetish? 

Well, if you're talking about a girl who can effortlessly switch back and forth between putting extra coals in the pig smoker and stoking my fire, then maybe I do.

awlinBrutus's picture

"HIT that bacon" lol


GreatLakesMike's picture

Of course. Why is this a question? 

IH8UOFM's picture

Its painful watching him speak. For someone that was hired as a "CEO style coach" he has the speaking presence of a janitor.

+5 HS
The Rill Dill's picture

That is a serious insult to janitors, worldwide. Seriously.

+16 HS
One Bad Buckeye's picture

Not to get technical or anything, but I've always presumed pork chops to actually be a pretty healthy option, no? 5-600 calories, a bit of fat, but I don't eat too much fat throughout the day so I'm usually looking to get some fat in my diet by the time dinner rolls around.    

It's bacon and sausage you need to eat in moderation.   

But I concur, Hoke needs to stop being so hard on his digestive system.  

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

There is a lot of sausage on this table.

When you reach for that ball under a pine tree, do you ever think about who just peed there a little while ago?

mmounts's picture

Bacon and sausage in moderation you say? Never will those words make sense to me. 

Run_Fido_Run's picture

I'm not going to preach at you because a). I've done more than my fair share of fat Hoke jokes and b). I frequently indulge in dark humor. But this post seems just a wee bit cold . . . 

+3 HS
Northbrook's picture

Let it also be noted that Hoke is not the sharpest crayon in the toolshed.

+2 HS
1MechEng's picture

Beat a cow when it's down?!

Like this?

+11 HS
Grayskullsession's picture

I don't understand how players much less recruits take him seriously with the "uuuuhhhhhh, duuuuuuuuhhhhh" every 4 words.

"if irony were made of strawberries, we' d all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now."

+2 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

I think that Hoke is much better speaking to recruits and families than he is to the media. For some reason, he is publicly incoherent, which is not an asset when that is an important part of his job. But he has brought in a small but quality group of commitments for the 2015 class, so he must come across as very personable one-on-one.

+3 HS
What Would Troy Smith Do's picture

This is not political but this reminds me of George W. We are all aware of his public speaking foibles but by all accounts (friend and foe) he could absolutely command a room and was great one on one. So, it makes sense that someone could be this way.

+2 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

Hoke posts never get old !!!

+1 HS
BoFuquel's picture

I hate TSUN. that is all. GO BUCKS!

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

+2 HS
buckguyfan1's picture

After reading this post, TSUN still sucks. 

+2 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

When "beat Ohio" is the sharpest stick you find, and you still use it to poke the bear, and think you are being cool..... it's safe to assume we are not dealing with the brightest coach in the Big 10.
Would love to have the Big 10 coaches have to take the Wonderlic Exam, and then publish the results. I'd bet a paycheck that Hoke would score lowest of the 12.

tennbuckeye19's picture


OSU_ALUM_05's picture

What if your team was nothing but enormous fat guys with strong legs?  You line 10 fat guys up in front of a fat guy who gets the ball.  All the fat guys push each other and the other team and try to fall down in about 3 yards.  Eventually you wind up in the end zone.  Serve pizza between drives.  It's possible.

Fat guys wouldn't work on defense I guess.


It's not that hard to be a good apprentice.

+1 HS