Yep. The Onion Went There.

October 30, 2013 at 10:11a    by Jason Priestas    
24 Comments

Take it away, America's finest news source:

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Following a humiliating 63-14 defeat against Ohio State over the weekend, officials at Pennsylvania State University on Tuesday called the blowout loss a blemish on the school’s storied football program, and the college’s biggest disgrace in recent memory. “Frankly, it’s unacceptable to have the Nittany Lions associated with something loathsome like this,” head coach Bill O’Brien told reporters, claiming that his team’s one-sided loss—its worst in nearly 114 years—does not align with the school’s values, and represents a black eye from which it may never recover.


Comments

albinomosquito's picture

You would think this was 100% accurate reading some of the PSU blogs... lol What a disgraceful program.. 

Jonnferrell's picture

JoePa speaks from the grave, "That's all a lot of poop.  I should know."

"I'm still hungry." --Brady Hoke

Oyster's picture

PRICELESS!

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

Buckeye1004's picture

Can't find a quote about the [does not align with the school’s values, and represents a black eye from which it may never recover.] comment.  Which to me was the most shocking comment.  "a black eye from which it may never recover".  Wow! 
However, in my effort I found the following quote from BOB, "I never thought I’d say this, but when the clock ran down and I got a final look at that scoreboard, I was actually ashamed to be associated with Penn State football.”
That's not something I would want to hear from my football coach!!! 

Jason Priestas's picture

Who wants to be the one to tell Buckeye1004?

pjtobin's picture

Me  please!! Let it be me.  It's quoted in the Onion daily paper. 

Bury me in my away jersey, with my buckeye blanket. A diehard who died young. Rip dad. 

Doc's picture

PJ, you might need to elaborate a bit.  Buckeye1004 might not know what The Onion is.

"Say my name."

jedkat's picture

*crickets*

“The teams that don’t respect their coaches and don’t trust their coaches are the teams that go .500"
~Zach Boren

MattyBeingMatty's picture

HAHAHA... Can we just let it go on please???????

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world, I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Mike Vick." -TP

Brutus's picture

I'll do it.  The Onion is one of the most reputable, factually based news sources in the world.  Their articles are well sourced and accurately reported.  The Onion is the only place I go for news.  I too am appalled that Penn State finds this loss to be the worst thing to happen to the program.  Frankly, I think having McGloin as your starter for 2+ seasons is the bigger black eye to the program.

BuckeyeAtHeart22's picture

You forgot to mention that The Onion has 3 Pulitzer Prize winners on staff.  They also have circulated over 10 billion copies of their newspaper.

Wilkins78's picture

Don't worry, Buckeye1004, you're not alone.  There's a pretty good list of people/organizations that have been fooled by The Onion.
Stephen A Smith, Fox News, Iran media, Chinese Media, Congressmen John Fleming and John Haller, MSNBC, and the New York Times to name a few!

Hovenaut's picture

When it happens...

I am not the Last Dragon, therefore I do not possess the power of the Glow.

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

Buckeye1004, had you posted this on Facebook you would have ended up here.
 

Firmthyfriendship's picture

Ramzy, I used to go to The Onion on a daily basis. For some reason I just forgot about it. Thanks for the revisit.
But now, I do not know what is funnier: The Onion articles themselves or the outrage of those who take them serious. That is some gold!
It reminds me of the time I told that old joke to my mom saying "and you know gullible isn't even in the dictionary right?" And much to my chagrin she actually pulled out the dictionary to prove me wrong.

Oldschoolbuck's picture

Buckeye1014, I'm a hot blond who would really like to meet you ... The only problem is, I need $5000 for a plane ticket and to get a hotel room.
You can forward the $$ to DJ Byrnes, or any of the 11W staff. If DJ isn't available, I think his uncle, Warren G would be glad to pick it up for me.
Call me!!

*Edit* As someone said bro, you're not the first to be fooled by The Onion.
Thanks for playing (& being a good sport?)!

OurHonorDefend09's picture

This article is hilarious, but the funniest one this year has to be this guy:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/washington-redskins-change-their-name-t...
 

Don't give up... Don't ever give up.

BassDropper's picture

My favorite is when they fooled Stephen A. Smith.

DIRECTIONER

BierStube's picture

The English language fools Stephen A. from time to time!

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

Catch 5's picture

That's priceless.

Make their asses quit! - Nick Saban

MN Buckeye's picture

I remember the Onion being quoted by Iran as to how the American people supported their nuclear program. They make me laugh every time I go there.

Buckeye1004's picture

I refuse to present a picture of myself to be placed next to the word gullible in the dictionary!  I do however, stand and take my ridicule for falling for "The Onion".