The long and winding pre-season has almost come to a close. The unbearable summer days without football have given way to hope, optimism and endless awards watch lists. You’ve seen them all, but I’ve saved the best for last. Without further adieu I give you the first annual 2013 preseason Beck-skis.
Andy Katzenmoyer RIP Corby Jones Award
The venerable honor of receiving the AKRIPCJA will be given to the player who makes the biggest hit during the 2013 season. If you’re a Buckeye and have a history of forcibly bashing snot out of another man’s nose, you’ll probably find yourself on this list. The candidates are:
Ryan Shazier: No. 10 is a bad bad man. You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it. We all grimace in fear after witnessing one of his masterpieces.
C.J. Barnett: The strong safety has been known to lay the wood from time to time. Just take a look here.
Christian Bryant: The upperclassman made it a really bad day for a nameless faceless UAB player last season.
Darkhorse - Corey Linsley: Because this.
John Simon Bulging Bicep Award
Simon’s arms are bigger than your head. End of story. Here are the players who have a chance to follow in his flannel-wearing man-sized footsteps. Ultimately one will go on to grow the largest biceps on the team (if they’re not there already).
Ryan Shazier: Exhibit A
JT Moore: While he hasn’t seen much playing time, look at these weapons of mass destruction
Armani Reeves: Have you seen Armani Reeves’ bi’s. Get ‘em young blood
Noah Spence: Putting in work with Marotti
Freshman who wears the threads best
Sunday brought us the first look at the new crop of Buckeyes in Scarlet and Gray. Admittedly it was an early look without pads, but here are the newbies wearing it best thus far.
Dontre Wilson: You’ve heard all the stories, the kid is fast and could be an asset early. But did you know he also rocks the greatest uniform in football with the best of ‘em.
Mike Mitchell: Get after it.
Ezekial Elliot: Looking strong to very strong
Von Bell: Doing that No. 7 justice
Michael Thomas Player You Completely Forgot About Award. Presented by Michael Thomas.
Remember Michael Thomas? That freshman everyone was hyped about last year? No? Yeah I didn’t think so. Lost in the whirl-wind of 2013 expectations, a star-studded incoming class and off-field issues are a few players who might just make an impact this season...but they absolutely fell off your radar.
Michael Thomas: It’s only right to put MT up for the award that bears his name. After a strong Spring Game he was the new-comer everyone was hot on. He went on to make some catches in big games last year...and everyone has completely forgotten about him.
Jordan Hall: Lost in the Carlos Hyde saga was the fact OSU will finally have their former No. 1 running back suiting up. Hall was the starter before his injury and NO ONE seems to remember that.
Archie Griffin He Got Style Award
Look at this photo of Archie Griffin with his Heisman. Just look at it. Fu-man-chu, pendant, ring, out of control blazer, turtleneck under out of control blazer and flawless hair. The man was a style icon. These are the players who could follow in his footsteps.
Braxton Miller: Did you see this dapper dude at B1G media day?
Jeff Heuerman: Former Twitter avi says it all
Ryan Shazier: This hat. Seriously this hat.
“Boom” Herron Best Nickname Award
Carlos “El-Guapo” Hyde: Johnny came up with it. And you love it.
Braxton “X-Brax” Miller: He does things you can’t do in a video game. This is the night it was born
Corey “Don’t Call Me Philly” Brown: This nickname is great because its everyone’s worst nightmare: a nickname bestowed upon you that you hate. Philly Brown simply isn’t a fan, giving rise to the ultimate nickname…a nickname trying to rid oneself of a nickname.
Dan “Boom” Herron: I don’t care that he’s not on the team anymore. He’s still eligible because Boom Herron is the best nickname of all time.
Orlando Pace Most Likely To Be Drafted Highest Award
It doesn’t get much higher than No. 1, the draft spot the Big Pancake garnered in 1997. While I’m not sure the Buckeyes have a true No. 1 this season, these are the players most likely to go off the big board before any of their teammates.
Bradley Roby: He’s got first round potential. This was a no-brainer
Ryan Shazier: While I would hate to see the Jr. LB go, if he has a great season in 2013 it could happen
Carlos Hyde: Even with his three game suspension, Carlos could rack up a ton of yards this year. NFL teams are always looking for bruising backs
Jordan Hall: He’s got big play potential. If he puts it all together there’s no telling where the ceiling is.
Braxton Miler Golden Mohawk Award
Miller’s golden mane had a short shelf-life, but my oh my was it majestic. This award has nothing to do with his hair, but it was imperative to get it in here somehow. These are the players most likely to help Braxton Miller in the upcoming season.
Carlos Hyde: Again, even with the three game suspension El Guapo is the guy you want to count on in crunch time. He’ll almost always deliver
Philly Brown: He led the team in receiving yards last season. He might do it again
Devin Smith: If he can do things like this, you can never count him out
Corey Linsley: Don’t underestimate the guys doing the protecting. Corey Linsley is set to have a break-out senior season at center
Taylor Decker or Chase Farris: One of them will be protecting Braxton from behemoths. That’s the definition of helping out No. 5.
Jordan Hall: He might finally live up to that Percy Harvin moniker. If he does, the Braxton Miller Golden Mohawk award is as good as his.
So there you have it. The candidates are primed and ready. Only time will tell which Buckeyes will have the honor of placing a 2013 Buckeye Beck-Ski on their mantle. Let's get this season started all ready.