The Stumbler: Volume 13 – The Day Mark May Chose Hate

By Jeff Beck on March 13, 2013 at 5:00p
Stumble In

While Stumbling around the Internet for this week’s edition, I came across a video entitled “Mark May Hates Ohio State.” In the video Lou Holtz, Mark May and Rece Davis discuss Ohio State’s 2010 early season matchup with the Miami Hurricanes. 

As these segments have a tendency to do, the conversation devolved into Lou Holtz spitting all over himself, Mark May imitating an angry Mr. Potato Head and Rece Davis trying to hold the whole operation together with dental floss. 

Throughout the video, May questions Ohio State’s 2002 national championship, the team’s overall speed and their #2 ranking. 

This isn’t the first time May has let his Buckeye hate flag fly. In fact, it happens so frequently that theories are being developed regarding the birth of this hate baby.

Now, I suppose we’ll never be sure why May harbors such disdain for the Scarlet and Gray, but Ohio State’s historic 72-0 beatdown of his alma mater might be a good starting point.

From 1977-1980, May played offensive tackle for the Panthers. His senior year the team lost only one game, finished #2 in the country and was named national champions by a few human and computer polls.

May was a standout on the squad, notching the Outland Trophy and a consensus first-team All-American nod.

The talented May was selected in the first round of the 1981 draft and left a proud Pitt program that went on to tally another one-loss season in that same year.

Flash forward to 1996 and a proud Pitt the program was not.

Think happy thoughtsNot amused.

The Panthers opened up their season with a 34-0 loss to West Virginia, a win against Kent State and a 42-35 overtime loss against Houston. The 1-2 record wasn’t exactly what Pitt was looking for heading into Columbus to face a #7 Ohio State squad.

While few were expecting a win, even fewer were anticipating what transpired over the next four quarters.

With that I give you:

The Clips: A Historic Hammering

Ohio State entered the 1996 season with high hopes, and delivered in Week 1 with a 70-7 annihilation of Rice before meeting up with Pitt in Week 2. The game had the makings of a trap game, as OSU was set to play #5 Notre Dame in South Bend the following week.

However, from the beginning it was evident the Scarlet and Gray brought their A-game. Here is every score of that “A-game” in full Technicolor glory. I hope you’ve got a few minutes:

First Quarter

Pepe Pearson 16-yard run

Pearson 9-yard run

Stanley Jackson 5-yard run

Second Quarter

Joe Germaine 19-yard pass to Dimitrious Stanley 

Pearson 2-yard run

9-yard pass from Germaine to David Boston

Josh Jackson 21-yard FG

12-yard pass from Jackson to Boston

Third Quarter

Joe Montgomery 1-yard run

Matt Keller 22-yard run

Fourth Quarter

And the cherry on top: a Boston 67-yard punt return with only 8 Buckeyes on the field.

Is this 72-0 bludgeoning of the Panthers the root of May's hate? Who knows but it sure was fun to relive. Thanks for stumbling in. Let's do this again sometime.


Comments Show All Comments

Squirrel Master's picture

Mark Mays hate started at birth. No mystery at all. He was born to hate OSU. He offers his hate filled opinion of OSU without being asked all the time, just a bit more often than kirk herbstreit avoiding the topic.

I never really thought ESPN had anything against OSU directly but I have no doubt of MM hate towards them.

I saw a UFO told me to have a goodyear!

Hovenaut's picture

That drubbing in '96 is his starting point imo. Or the 54-14 beatdown the year before.

Or maybe he's pissed we didn't beat Notre Dame as badly those years, and Coath Holth leth Mayday know abouth ith frequenthly.....

Spew the hate MM, I know tOSU is doing good things when you're all pissy about it.

+1 HS
Colorado Buckeye's picture

love the thick tongued accent of "Dr Lou" you added in here... very subtle :)

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever!

Poison nuts's picture

Hey - you know, this site has really gotten huge now...It's likely that someone will see this & will then show it to Mr. May & although he'll scoff initially, he will read it...Then he'll check the comments out of morbid curiosity, so Mr. Mark May, if you're reading this...SUCK IT!

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

+1 HS
gbdawg's picture

Mark May= Major Tool

notoriouswojo's picture

Close...actually its Mark May = Fat Urkel


Would love to see us play Pitt again and see the Meyer/Herman offense post 80 on them. Imagine the meltdown that potato-head would have then.

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

Colorado Buckeye's picture

agreed... with all this smack talk he does we need them on the schedule ASAP to refresh their memory. maybe we could use that 3rd digit in the scoreboard this time!

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever!

Hovenaut's picture

It'd be fan-urkel-tastic if one day down the road Pitt got an invite from the B1G.....

What say you Jim Delany (eyes on your own ACC list)?

How on Earth could Urkel deal with near annual asswhippings?

Colorado Buckeye's picture

i like this idea even better... watching him piss and moan and make excuses about the annual beating they would take would be like music to my ears.

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever!

OSUNeedles's picture

I listened to this game and the Rice game on the radio while running dishtank at Bob Evan's... I was starting my senior year of high school and needed to make some cash so I turned down the opportunity to go with a friend... I hate teenage me!

ArizonaBuckeye's picture

Why pay any attention to Mark May? The guy's a complete douche bag and deserves no notoriety, albeit negative, at all, whatsoever. The highlights of the Pitt beat down were great to watch, though.

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." -Woody Hayes-

faux_maestro's picture

Why pay any attention to Mark May?


Your mom told me she wants a Dicken Cidar.

+1 HS
ArizonaBuckeye's picture

Haha That's not surprising.

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." -Woody Hayes-

faux_maestro's picture

This was my second ever Buckeye football game, the Rice game that year was my first (it was my freshman year). What a great way to begin my Buckeye career :)

Your mom told me she wants a Dicken Cidar.

bukyze's picture

I would kill to be able to send this Stumblr edition to Mark May's personal email address.  The Boston punt return TD with only 8 guys on the field was hilarious!  The icing on the cake!

Baroclinicity's picture

I was at this game, too.  I had a good time.

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

painterlad's picture

New rumor...
Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James.

To err is human. Really sucking requires having yellow stripes on your helmet.

Alex Boones Liver's picture

You didn't know that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James? I knew that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James.

+1 HS
DannyBeane's picture

Well Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James on his way to blow five dudes at Pitt is how I heard it.

+1 HS
CALPOPPY's picture

C'mon, man. I never heard the rumor that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James. I've heard plenty of rumors in my day but that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James was not one I had heard before. I mean, it's kinda preposterous that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James. I don't think it's true that Mark May drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James.

I'm a hurtin' buckaroo.

+1 HS
BuckeyeVet's picture

@PAINTER - you didn't include all the details. Actually..... Mark May, WHILE wearing women's underwear, drove the van that housed the bodies of the five hookers killed by Craig James. 

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."          - Groucho Marx

"The recipient of Oyster's ONLY down vote".

+1 HS
gumtape's picture

I was a freshman that year. Loved Joe Montgomery. The OSU bookstore had a special where how ever many points that the margin of victory equated to savings on shirts and pants. That was pretty sweet.

High and tight boo boo

BSTP DeCon's picture

It's all good, my dislike for MM is mutual with distaste of the greatest university (IMHO) in the country.

Nick's picture

I heard May May wears girls underwear 

Kennywayne34's picture

I believe the hate is there but it is laid on extra thick. The OSU is one of the largest fan bases that exists. This is nothing more than an attempt to get a reaction from said school fan base . This is a ratings move on The ESpin's network part. If we would ignore these antics his existence would be null and void. But here we are writing articles / blogs and commenting on articles / blogs and they and he are laughing at us all the way to the bank. We are above this Buckeye Nation! Wake the f$&@ up.
Rant over 

Maestro's picture

All well and good, but shitheads deserve to be called out.  LOUDLY and often.  May is a world class shithead.  His shitheadedness rivals that of any on Earth.  Plain and simple, Mark May = Shithead.

vacuuming sucks

+1 HS
Poison nuts's picture


"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

gumtape's picture

The funny thing is that you said Buckeye Nation, which is the name of crappy useless blog that is written be some guy who went to tennessee that exists as part of the 4 letter network.

High and tight boo boo

txbucknut's picture

It has always been entertaining to watch Fat Urkel show his favoritism towards any team playing Ohio St. over the past few years. Nothing that guy says has any weight behind it....he's a total moron, and because of that it is going to be even more entertaining over the next few years watching him fumble over his words as Urban Meyer turns the Buckeyes into a well oiled machine that walks all over every team it faces. You usually have to watch professional actors-to see people act that stupid. 

MediBuck's picture

Watching that Boston punt return never fails to put me in a bad mood.
Also, Fat Urkel used to make me mad in the old days, but then I realized that he was the only idiot dumb enough to get trolled by Dr. Lou's Alzheimers. Now, I love their segments.I hope Holtz lives for a long long time to troll GayDay.

"There is a force that makes us all brothers, no one goes his way alone." --Woody Hayes

Bucks43201's picture

Haaa...I still have the program from that beautiful game.

"You win with people." - Woody Hayes

JeffCoBuck's picture

Lemme tell you how bad that beatdown was - I was there.  Back when student tickets and their use were a whole lot easier to abuse, my sister-in-law-to-be gave me her student ticket and I went with my brother.  I always, ALWAYS stay to the end of a game, regardless of sport, regardless of victory or defeat.  I just don't get to go to stuff all that often, and I want to soak it all in.  That game was so bad, such a mismatch, my brother and I left with about ten minutes to go in the fourth quarter.  We were bored to death.  If that was the birth of Mark's hate, I can't say I blame him, because his Panthers got pantsed that day.  Doesn't mean he has to be a tool on TV regarding the Buckeyes, but still...

BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

That was fun... flashing back to my early high school years!
oh, and...
Pepe Pearson was the man.
David Boston was the man.

SMP's picture

This is why I love this site: Nobody Likes Mark May!  He has irritated me for years. 

progolfer107's picture

I don't know any college football fans, let alone Buckeye fans, that like the Douche.

IBleedSandG's picture

The call of the punt return w/ 8 guys on the field is classic! "That will never be broken."


Bish45's picture

Just Awesome Post:
Mark May is a turd nugget and this made me feel a little better given the year in and year out hating of Ohio State.
Matt Keller on a FB Dive for 22 yards and a score...a thing of beauty.
Boston's Punt Return should still get video love ..... every college football season.

Oyster's picture

Who is this Mark May everyone keeps talking about?  I've never heard of the guy.

"Scrolling hurts my finger"

(and FitzBuck was clearly the winner)

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

As much as I dislike Mark May, we sort of have to think of all his nonsense as flattery.  He wouldn't have a job if he spent all his time ripping Duke's football team for not being relevant in a miserable ACC.  He needs a big alumni/fan base (check), who are obsessed with football (check), who root for a perennially good football team (check), a team that is always contending on the national stage (check) and winning conference championships (check).  Rip a team like that and you get all kinds of reaction = good ratings.  If OSU was irrelevant, we'd never hear from him, regardless of the 90's Pitt beat downs.

Yeti's have feelings too.

ARMYBUCK's picture

It was nice of someone to infuse the name Craig James into the comments about an article on douchebags.  Mark May, of coarse, is the biggest douche of them all!

BuckeyeNationProblems's picture

I love mark may.. Said no one ever 


Bort's picture

Pepe Pearson might be my favorite running back in Ohio State history.  Also, does anyone else besides me remember Mark May picking the Hurricanes by 4 touchdowns in the National Championship Game?  Even Trev Alberts was smart enough to say it would be close.  I was so mad at the fact that ESPN didn't put that group back on tv to analyze the game after it was over.  I really wanted to see Mark May's face after we won.  That was the only time in my life I can remember being upset that he wasn't on tv.  Normally I'm pissed because he is.

"We've always had the best damn band in the we have the best damn team in the land"
Jim Tressel