So Ohio State just beat Michigan for the tenth time in 12 years.
So the Buckeyes managed to double their win total over last season.
So Urban Meyer and his staff have already programmed their recruiting machine for ludicrous speed, which can only be safely maintained without the speed bumps that accompany bowl preparations.
So the last time Ohio State lost a regular season game it was to Michigan, whom they've since beaten.
So Urban's most recent loss as a head football coach happened two years ago today.
So Urban became Ohio State's head football coach one year ago tomorrow.
So in five of Urban's last eight seasons he has coached his teams to either zero or one loss.
So that's an insane statistic, even without considering that it includes three very different programs.
So the Buckeyes won the only game that matters on Saturday and in its aftermath the talk was about how the other team's offense was way too telegraphed and predictable.
So this is what the other side of that play-calling fence looks like.
So the most recent senior class to leave Michigan with a winning record against Ohio State enrolled in college before any of the Wolverines' incoming freshmen for 2013 were potty-trained.
So before you try to figure that out, it was their freshman class of 1997.
So now you feel kind of old but you shouldn't – because you still look terrific.
So last year's Ohio State offense lost its four-year starting center, both tackles, its best receiver and two best tailbacks yet they just averaged 37.2 points per game running an offense none of them had ever played in prior to this season.
So that's two full touchdowns more per game over last season using, for the most part, last year's backups and disappointments.
So two more touchdowns per game would have resulted in the 2011 Buckeyes going 12-1 instead of 6-7.
So that's overly simplistic, but that's why it's called football and not supersymmetric quantum mechanics.
So Ohio State's passing offense finished 101st nationally this season, which sounds terrible until you realize that is actually 14 spots better than it finished in 2011.
So Braxton Miller has now had the benefit of a real position coach and offensive coordinator for exactly one season and he has two left in Columbus.
So according to Urban, Braxton still is not even close to scratching the surface for his potential.
So Braxton is the reigning Big Ten QB of the Year, and yet he hasn't begun to scratch yet.
The late Orlas "Neutron Man" King. He'd be okay with 12-0.So Ohio State's offense jumped 61 spots in NCAA statistical rankings (108th in 2011 to 47th in 2012) despite adopting an entirely new system using players largely recruited to run something much different.
So the Buckeyes finished 35th in total defense nationally despite being forced to make ambulatory roster moves just to field a starting team.
So the Silver Bullets didn't lose a single game despite having Ryan Shazier, a career fullback and a guy who broke his leg in week six as its linebacking corps against Wisconsin and Michigan.
So this was supposed to be a rebuilding year, and if you look at the gruesome details behind the gaudy record...it definitely was.
So as gratifying as 2012 was – especially compared to 2011 – it turns out that this reversal of fortune was fairly predictable.
So Urban took over a 2-9 Bowling Green team and went 8-3 in his first year and 9-3 in his second, and that was rebuilding too.
So Urban took over a 5-6 Utah team and went 10-2 in his first year and 12-0 in his second, and that was rebuilding too.
So Urban took over a 7-4 Florida team and went 9-3 in his first year and 13-1 in his second, and that was rebuilding too.
So Urban took over a 6-7 Ohio State team and went 12-0 in his first year, and counsel has no further witnesses.
So Urban seems to be as predictable with rebuilding success as Al Borges is with 2nd half play-calling.
So us laughing at other teams for telegraphed play-calling is kind of like abruptly losing 150lbs and then immediately making fun of fat people.
So imagine knowing during that horrendous offseason of 2011 that the Buckeyes would run the table in 2012.
So consider what that knowledge would have done for your fragile mental state, general well-being and antacid consumption.
So think about what this team and its incoming freshmen will do this offseason without the burden of a roster fire drill or the need for wholesale physical and philosophical transformation.
So the idea that this 12-0 season was all for nothing fizzles when you consider the inertia that it carries into next season's polling.
So once Ohio State is allowed back into the Coaches Poll it will debut no worse than fifth and control its own BCS destiny through a dozen games where it will be both a giant target as well as a prohibitive favorite.
So despite all of that, over the next 42 days you'll be ruthlessly subjected to the B1G title* game and then three dozen bowls not featuring the undefeated Buckeyes.
So this will make you sad, wistful and melancholy.
So what.
Comments
This.
/Duff'd It
So, what you did there...I see it!
Ludicrous Speed!!!
You can kill a fly with your slipper or a cannon. Either way, the fly dies. -Ramzy
Still slower than SEC Speed, apparently.
/Duff'd It
Whenever I see someone wearing plaid I think of that movie LMAO
"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest.Civil.War.Analogy.Ever
Very nice, had a few laughs along the way, tears of joy, and sorrow. Anger and elation. Just a roller coaster of emotions. Bravo!
One of the best pieces I have read! Thanks Ramzy! Keep up the good work
~Charlotte Buckeye Chip
All anyone ever does is complain about how awful the bowl system is. But then, if Ohio State isn't in a bowl, the conference has no way to prove itself? But I thought the bowl system is garbage and doesn't prove anything. Doesn't Ohio State's all-time-leading-BCS-win record mean anything? Oh, it doesn't? Then it doesn't really matter if we go bowling, right? It does? Who says so?
The SEC. But only when they win...their losses don't matter.
So confused by the national conversation about the bowl ban. Unless you're in the national title, it doesn't matter. Even if you are in the national title, if you lose then you suck...unless you're LSU apparently.
It's the worst system in the history of human athletic endeavors. If you're at all serious about caring what the bowls are, then you'd probably only care about one bowl - the Rose Bowl. And you'd shell out every penny you had to experience it. And even then, it's just an exhibition game as it stands today. The rest of them are stupid.
Not that annoyed not to be going bowling. Being ineligible has allowed haters to hate.
Actually LSU proved pretty hardcore that they did indeed suck badly. Don't worry, the SEC's time is strting to run out with ND (unfortunately) winning the championship this year and Auburn sucking horribly and Florida and UGA being 'aiight'. The future of the SEC lies in Texas A&M and 'Bama only.
"Get him a body bag, Yeah!"
Best one-"So us laughing at other teams for telegraphed play-calling is kind of like abruptly losing 150lbs and then immediately making fun of fat people."-Classic!
Great piece, great read, GO BUCKEYES!!
Oh and C-Deck Jesus!!!
shouldn't it have read "losing 300 lbs" as a further reference to the Walrus?
-The Aristocrats!
awesome read but im no where near sad.
I dont know karate but i do know crazy and i'm not afraid to use it.
&
The only thing I'm sad for is that this year's seniors are being punished, and won't have the fun of a bowl game, because of some of last year's seniors decided to be stupid.
That's it. Merry Christmas. :D
It's great to be a Buckeye!
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
I like this view alot more.
Nothing like dancing on the field in 02...
So, we're pretty much awesome!
"Attack the Strong, Trample the Weak, Hurdle the Dead!"
-Former OSU S&C Coach Lichter
Only thing I'm sad about is having to wait until next fall to see the Buckeyes take the field.
JT
Great piece, Ramzy, as always. We all knew Coach Meyer would turn us around, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect this. In August I was cautiously optimistic at 8-4, 9-3 with a win over TTUN and I would have been tickled pink at that. THIS? I'm actually afraid to pinch myself thinking i may wake up.
My ONLY concern (and in the grand scheme of things it's probably the best concern one can have) is this: Can we now live up to the gargantuan hype and expectations that are going to follow? Can Coach Meyer, even as adept as he is to producing results under such incredible expectations? Again, I am cautiously optimistic. But you never know what could happen in the course of an offseason. The wait for next September is going to DRIVE ME NUTS with anticipation. Cannot wait!
"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest.Civil.War.Analogy.Ever
Completely agree. While it's truly great to go 12-0, we're likely going to need to go 14-0 next year to win the NC. It might have been better to go 10-2 this year to go into next season really hungry. It's easy for 18-22 year olds to get complacent.
Complacent my ass! It wont be hard for Urban, Mickey, Pantoni, et al to motivate these young men to remember how they went undefeated in '12 only to get shunned by the national media and not play in a bowl game. It won't take much to remind them of that. Not only will they replicate that undefeated season next year but they will do it in much more dominating fashion! Dont worry, the '13 Buckeyes will be hungry, vicious, and downright 'pissed-off' next season. Add in a few more freshman playmakers that fit Urban's style and FUHGETABOUTIT.
"Get him a body bag, Yeah!"
great piece!
Honestly, I kind of like Meyer's offense better with Tressel's recruits. Hope he keeps recruiting big running backs like we're used to at Ohio State to go with his speedsters.
I have a feeling you're right and he will keep having a big battling ram around...either at FB or TB. I agree with you as well...as I love speed...I sure do love a big back like Hyde...AKA El Guapo (Or Beanie Wells, Eddie George, Keith Byars, Pete Johnson, Archie and so on). I think Urban realizes the history and will continue to have a Hyde type around.
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
"I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose."
Woody Hayes 1913 - 1987
I don't think Meyer has ever had a Carlos Hyde type of back. Now that he's gotten a taste and seen how well a big bruiser can fit into his system, maybe he'll want more. I sure hope so. As frustrating as it was to watch UM bottle up Miller, it was gratifying seeing them completely powerless to stop Hyde.
A big round of applause for Jim Delany, for how well his B1G football championship game is working out.Word is he's thinking of canceling the 2013 B1G football season,till he can find a way to end "THE GAME " forever.All he needs is 2 more worthless teams and a 4 division format.Then they will only allow " THE GAME " maybe every 3 years.He lies awake at night thinking of this.It's comming sooner than you think.GO BUCKS!
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.
I'm pretty sure Delaney would schedule OSU and Mich 12 times a year before he would put The Game on some kind of rotation. He placed them in separate divisions because there is a higher possibility of a rematch each year.
I hate rematches.
Subtract Stoney and Fragel, then add Decker, Jalin Marshall, Ezekiel Elliott, Taivon Jacobs, etc. Yup, it should only get better next year.
http://insider.espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/8676871/ncf-ohio-...
Fair and balanced reporting from ESPN - WHAT!
Could you copy and paste the article somewhere for non insider members? I'm interested after that preview part and your comment.
GO BUCKS
Ok, created a blog post over on the right side of the main page (under recent blog posts) and copied the article. A pretty nice article from ESPN to my disbelief!
---Note-----
Removed the blog - didnt know I couldnt copy the article. Apologize to anyone in managment for this oversight. Please dont kick me from this site. It was an honest mistake.
They spend 95% of their Ohio State coverage bashing the shit out of the Buckeyes, then when someone over there says something profound about how Ohio State should deserve a claim of the national title they charge you extra just to read it?
Is it ok if I lost 150lbs and immediately made fun of a fat guy if that guy was Brady Hoke?
It's OK to make fun of him now.
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
It's ok if you weight 150lbs more than Brady Hoke and make fun of him for being fat
100% of unprayed prayers go unanswered
Great stuff Ramzy....
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
"I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose."
Woody Hayes 1913 - 1987
I love pieces like this that put things into perspective.
What Urban has done is incredible. If you had asked for my Urban Meyer wish list last year when he was hired, it probably would have read something like this: 1. Keep the senior class and team leadership together and get them to buy in to your program; 2. Finish strong in recruiting, with attention to building an "SEC" type of defensive line in the future; and 3. Win every game. Check, check and check. It's really remarkable. Every now and then I'm tempted to criticize the coaching staff for something, but then I go back to my wish list and find it almost impossible to do. I'm already drooling for the 2013 season to start.
Ramzy, I'm picturing you reading this in your SNL "Drunk Uncle" voice! Google It!
Fine work - it's like a enjoying a nice spicey turkey sammich a few days after gorging on the Thanksgiving feast! Burrrrp!
The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced
So AACC still sucks! The future is so bright for the Buckeyes. Next year is going to be a blast.
"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)
joe walsh spent some time growing up right off tOSU campus. true story.
theDuke
Walsh also used to play at a bar/venue on N Fourth called the Sugar Shack. Other notables who also apeared there before they hit it big time were Bob Seger, Kenny Rogers and Linda Ronstadt.
"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)
Btw, I think So What is Joe Walsh's finest work hands down.
Worth the listen by all.
"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)
I frequented the Sugar Shack while a smokin' hot coed at tOSU. Went to the Agora to see Brownsville Station at the Agora and ZZ Top opened for them. No one had heard of them, but after a few songs we didn't care about Brownsville Station. Before Kenny Rogers went country he had a band called "The First Edition" and had a hit "Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in" My parents took us to see them at a nightclub called "The Bedroom" All the waitresses wore baby doll pajamas.
So awesome.
GO BUCKS
it's really been a great vibe for the last 366 days now. urb was hired, starting pulling in recruiits, moving up the recruiting rankings. gettting good coaches, starting a new way of doing things mentally and physically, and the with the season, transforming the team into a real team-playing for each other, going from 6-7 to 12-0, beating scum, and now back to bringing in more recruits. and into the future, a top 5 recruiting class, top five preseason ranking and a chance to go undefeated again.
Bwahahaaha - it hurts! - please make him stop!!!
I make fun of Hoke for being fat anyway, even though I am fat myself.
Class of 2010.
Ramzy - Please dont ever leave, you're writing is always full of satire and gems.
~Because we couldn't go for three~
Ramzy, I might be missing the title of your article. It wasn't a good walk spoiled. It was a great walk enjoyed. This past year has been enjoyable. The bowl ban isn't even bumming me out.
Besides, Mark Twain said golf was a good walk spoiled, definitely not football :P
The mixed emotions of this week are definitely messing with my head.
The elation of Saturday was somewhat muffled by the knowledge that the result wasn't going to propel this team into the postseason.
The excitement about the future of this team was somewhat subdued by the fact that they could be practicing this week, and 15 more times after this weekend prior to some version of a BCS payday.
I just haven't wrapped my head around what I am feeling yet, but I guess "so what" will help me cope. I guess.............
vacuuming sucks
maestro, just wrap your head around some bacon, it'll make things better.
theDuke
I think of things wrapped in bacon when i read the word "wrapped".
theDuke
Boston College employed the Walrus in January 2012.
2011 BC rushing stats: 89th, 130.9 ypg.
2012 BC rushing stats: 117th, 90.5 ypg.
Well done, fat man. Well done.
This piece... I can't even words.
Indomitable in victory, insufferable in defeat.
R.I.P. Neutron Man.
Thanks for sharing a great pic. I always enjoyed seeing him at the stadium in the mid-90s.
yeah baby!!!!
So, Ramzy has compiled a cache of stellar, thought provoking pieces to stimulate the educated Buckeye masses. So I'm in love Buckeyes and all of the above.
Wayne Woodrow Hayes
So the skunk bears up here are blaming play calling. Had nothing to do with OSU adjustments or Hyde. All coaching.
I love the taste of their salty tears.
BTW, had twins born on 11/20. They are 1-0 vs A2. Can't wait to tell them about this season.
Congrats on the new additions to the family!!!!
"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest.Civil.War.Analogy.Ever
"So us laughing at other teams for telegraphed play-calling is kind of like abruptly losing 150lbs and then immediately making fun of fat people."
What a damning damnation of such damnable offensive playcalling prior to Urban's arrival! Much deserved.
"Get him a body bag, Yeah!"
I think you mean Zach Boren...not Ryan Shazier. Just an FYI
Good stuff Ramzy.
I think he means it to read like this:
Ryan Shazier
A career fullback
A guy who broke his leg in week 6
Ramzy - stop bringing up all these great positive points! You need to be more like Meyer and keep the readership from getting too puffed up. We need to stay hungry for 2013! How about a nice detailed piece that's critical of Tom Herman's play calling in the second half of the Wisconsin game....yea....that's the ticket, that will keep us all grounded.
But seriously, thanks for putting the great accomplishments of this tOSU coaching staff and team all in one easily linkable place. Folks, be sure to send this to any scUM fan you might know on your Christmas list. Or send to anyone over at MgoBlow who might get uppity about stealing some 2 star linebacker from Ohio over the Winter. And So Forth......
Great article complete with a picture of C-deck Jesus.
Bravo!
pure genius!