Kids Say The Darndest Things

By DJ Byrnes on February 8, 2012 at 6:14p
if u donate to the cause (---->) we wont be owned by advertisers and can give you quality information and not distilled bullshit designed to appeal to people who enjoy the taste of low hanging fruit Duron Carter wouldn't have considered this Twitpic-worthy.

If there's one thing I'm truly thankful in my life, it's that Twitter didn't exist when I was a teenager. Not to carbon date myself or anything, but back in my day, you had to take to a "blog" to voice the ludicrously crude and asinine opinions which typically befall a teenager. That was quite the task compared to what it takes for today's teen to instantly publish their opinions to the world.

I can only imagine what linguistic monstrosities my stream-of-conscious would have construed on Twitter back when I was still learning very basic things about the way the world works. I probably would have a black bag over my head for 23 hours a day in Guantanamo Bay right now. 

That isn't to say I've figured the world out now, I haven't, but I think most people would concede they're more knowledgeable about the world's workings presently than they were as a teenager. Granted, I don't know half as much now as I thought I did when I was a teenager, but I feel this change is inevitable. Some people call call this process "maturity", others call it "personal growth" and others yet might call it "an inevitable process due to time."

That's why, when confronted with cases like the extraordinary adventures and musings of Will Hill, I take a time to not only laugh, but to also reflect on some of the things I've learned about life since I was in Will Hill's shoes. Not that I was ever really in Will Hill's shoes (my version of the picture to the right would probably have included two pock-marked hookers) but I wouldn't presently put my name on a lot of actions, let alone opinions, that made up my teenage years. 

The trouble for today's youth, is the fact we now live in an era where your stream-of-conscious opinions can be instantly shared with the world via Twitter, a potential problem compounded by the proliferation of smartphones. Given that teenagers have been saying dumb things for centuries, I feel it shouldn't surprise anybody when the obtuse and unrefined thinking processes of today's youth comes in the form of an 140-character tweet. It was inevitable, after all. 

So naturally, as somebody who wishes Michigan spends an eternity with players like Jordan Kovacs, I chuckled to myself as I saw news of Brady Hoke crumpling up his scholarship offer to four-star cornerback Yuri Wright over the content of some of his tweets. Hoke's train-of-thought was as obvious. He chose to an arbitrary (but convenient) opportunity to grand-stand on the issues of "No man being above the ideas of Michigan" and "character above talent" as if he were simultaneously applying Yuri Wright's standards to every recruit or player under his command. (It's the classic pop psychology bullshit I've come to love about the man already.)

Granted, he's got the whole "Michigan Unicorn-Man" myth to perpetuate, but he probably wouldn't have a very good team if he applied Yuri Wright's requirements to every incoming recruit. (Neither would any other coach for that matter, and they all know it, which is why I suspect so many of them handpick the players which interact with the media.)

Yet, some folks continue to be fascinated by the simplest concepts. Kids say the darndest things. I thought this was a universal truth since God ordained a TV show hosted by Bill Cosby under the same name. Well, thanks to some people apparently willing to troll through thousands of Tweets by teenagers, an impressive feet of mental fortitude/masochism in its own right, has used the tweets of incoming Michigan recruits to "expose" the already obvious hypocrisy. And guess what? Yuri Wright wasn't the only highly-touted prospect talking crudely or borderline-offensively on the internet.

Oh, and Michigan is just the first stop in a 7-stop tour "exposing" the likes of Notre Dame, LSU, Oregon, Ohio State, and Alabama. (I bet the writer of the article blindfolded himself before throwing darts at a map of the continental United States to choose his targets.)

I was laughing until I realize they were actually serious about this.

In all honesty, I'd first like to stand up and applaud "" They definitely won this round. Their article appeared multiple times in my timeline today, they got me to click their link and they got me to link to their article. That was probably the entire game-plan for whoever is behind (And really, that's all it about for most sites these days.) If they came at this in a comedic way, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Instead, it's adults (physically, if nothing else) stalking 18 year-olds on the internet and then hanging them with their own words on a forum where the kids usually don't have a chance to defend themselves or offer explanation, context or apology.

I guess this is what happens when Charles Robinson gets away with using the cooked books of a convicted felon to get a bunch of kids in trouble, and people consider it "investigative journalism." The ground-breaking results of Robinson's Herculean efforts? Financially insecure kids will take money and gifts from rich people who are offering it to them for free. With, the resulting thesis of their labors seems to be, "highly touted teenage recruits speak crudely, especially when provoked, and they may also think too highly of themselves."

I'm not sure why they had to stalk high school kids on the internet to learn this piece of information. You shouldn't need to drag teenagers through the mud (while making money off doing so) to know Brady Hoke was being hypocritical in his dealings with Yuri Wright. Really, this is the perfect anecdote to go after the hypocrisy the NCAA and its "student-athlete" fabrication are built on, but I guess articles like that don't garner as many clicks as cynical uses of a young black man making an off-color joke about society's views on his dating of a white woman since the Martin Luther King Jr. Days. (Never mind that the crux of the joke was true, I guess.) reacts to their findings.

For example, and I know this will shock a lot of readers, but teenagers are fond of use of the word "fag." I know this, because once upon a time, I used to also fancy the word "fag." Not because I inherently hated homosexuals, but because it was simply a word which was used when I grew up. It's a word which was so ingrained in my vocabulary, it still slips today from my tongue in moments of frustration, even though I know it's wrong. I'm not proud of it because it was as wrong then as it is now, but I had yet to learn the ramifications of using the word. 

That's why somebody like Ondre Pipkins using the word "fag" isn't inherently offensive to me. To breach that line, Ondre Pipkins would at least need to be using the slur while advocating violence against homosexuals. To me, it's more tragic that a five-star athlete got this far in life without an adult who actually cared about him corralling the behavior or teaching him about the eyes in the forest which are always watching.

But hey, why teach lessons to our nation's youth when you can "expose" them? That way, the lesson learned is "don't say vapid shit on the internet" rather than "why you shouldn't use the word 'fag' as a slur." Why fix the hole in the drywall when you can just hang a picture over it?

That's why I laughed at Brady Hoke's grandstanding with Yuri Wright. It was never about Yuri Wright actually saying those things, because if they were, then Brady Hoke would be losing a lot of stars from his recruiting class. He was never prepared to do that, which is why he made the statement without going through other recruits' social media lives (or having done so before he recruited them.) Instead, Brady Hoke used the media-generated opportunity to posture with Michigan Morality. 

But to take the ruminations of an 18 year-old, especially from a venue like Twitter, to garner page views and notoriety for your own personal gain while pasing it off an an "exposé" is as callous as it is pathetic; and if somebody is willing to be the parasites feeding off the sewage by-product created by the monetized college recruiting and talent development process in elite college athletics, then they're the ones who have to figure out how to sleep at night.

On March 6th, ChatSports is set to "expose" Ohio State. I have a hankering it will feature tweets about women, sex with women, mind-altering substances, probably the use of the word "fag" and a modern interpretation on a word used to slur black people. They will be, all hype and Buckeye leafs stripped from them, teenagers piping off dumb things on the internet. In other words, it will be just another day on the internet. I don't think it's something to sound the Beacon of Morality over. Besides, aren't there bigger moral scoundrels to chase and to shame?

It's darkly humorous to observe how much delight some internet typers take in "exposing"  and throwing stones at 18-year old kids over things which have been going on since the beginning of recorded human history. I'm not going to throw any stones because, if nothing else, I understand some of the trappings of youth. Hopefully when these kids mature, and most of them certainly will, they will have not only learned it's wrong to degrade women or use the word "fag" on Twitter because anonymous people might shame you on the internet, but  also because they truly came to understand some of the wrongs they were willingly perpetuating.  

By that time, maybe society will also get lucky, and some of the actual adults involved will grow up with them. 


Comments Show All Comments

Denny's picture

Really good stuff, DJ. 

Always fun seeing seven-part serieses that reek of pageview clamoring and faux-outrage.


BrewstersMillions's picture


That was me starting a slow clap for this piece. Masterful work DJ. I am already fake mad over Michigan and will be very fake mad at Ohio State! FAKE MAD!

awwwwwwop's picture

Very very good

"Who cares? Go Bucks." - Aaron Untch

Buckeye_Mafia's picture

I was actually more shocked by the shat that the kid from California was tweeting than what Yuri tweeted. Funny how that dude didn't taste Hoke's Turkey leg and cheese flavored wrath.

"At critical moments throughout the season, we learned about the character of this football team.  This was a team of true character, of true resilience." -- President Barack Obama

DJ Byrnes's picture

Yes, I thought his memory was a little hazy regarding the facts of OSU-UM's recent history as well. 

I'd say it was the most "offensive" thing I read in that entire piece, but I just remembered there's there's a Scarlet-and-Clad anonymous idiot talking smack to an 18 year old kid on the internet involved as well. People who engage in kind of thing are telling on the kind of lives they lead, and they play large part in this as well.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

blazers34's picture

couldnt agree more.  the guy talking shit to him has to be the biggest freaking loser.  then after the UM kid ran his mouth back, the origianal guy RT'd it and sent it to as many OSU scribes as he could.  Get a freaking life.

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

I like the chick with the boobie profile pic talkin bout representing the program with respect in the comments

The other thing to consider is most of these kids don't really know who they are and you touched on that some...their current coaches should be able to say if this is all a front for attention and to impress their social circles or not. I bet more than half these kids are much smarter than these tweets make them appear.

Et_Tu_OSU's picture

DJ, you're okay by me...

I appreciate the other contributors, and Alex and Jeremy's recruiting info has been epic, but ultimately it's stuff like this that kept me coming back and makes me glad I joined.  Great job.

"The revolution will be televised."

jaggs's picture

You are missing the best part of the article. The footnotes about claiming to have stories about drugs, gambling, improper benefits etc...but that they chose not to publish them. Like that is their moral high ground. The mere fact that they bring it up without evidence or context as a way to justify publishing the 'middle ground' seems laughable. 

Oh yeah, also the author being 'Chatsports staff' rather than attributing it to anyone in particular is a nice moment as well.

DJ Byrnes's picture

I didn't even feel like dealing with that pile of bullshit lest people think I'm trying to slander Michigan. It wasn't even needed to convict them in my SUPER SERIOUS LAW OF MORALITY COURT which probably has quaking in their boots in fear of imminent indictment.


Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

SaintTressel's picture

On point, DJ.

I knew the article was a joke after "As a writer with no inherent bias towards any school in NCAA football, I was moved by the article several weeks back..."

Moved? Really?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the percentage of high school athletes being absurd on twitter is about the exact same as the percentage of high school non-athletes being absurd on twitter. I suppose sitting at your computer looking up kids on twitter is easier then, like, actually thinking, writing, or forming a useful thought.

edit-actually knew the article was a joke after "Michigan football Exposed!"

BoFuquel's picture

DJ Kids Say The Darndeat Things was hosted by Art Linkletter.Those who don't know history, are doomed to repeat it with Bill Cosby.Course that was when I was in my prime,shortly after Hop won The Heisman.GO BUCKS!

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

The Six Fingered Buckeye's picture

I wonder which of their team was the "writer with no inherent bias..."


From their about us page:

James Yoder: CEO

- Devout UM fan.

Nick Cohen: CTO

- devout Green Bay fan

John Kobs: Chairman, BOD

- looks like a Tribe guy

Jeff Sklarin: Sports Marketing Manager

- Has a block M as his profile pic.


Please, be honest. This is for science.

pompano buckeye's picture

Minor correction...Bill Cosby was the host of the second incarnation of "Kids Say the Darndest Things".  The first host was Art Linkletter.  Not that I actuallly SAW that show ever...really.  Okay, I did, but my ship avatar NOT Noah's Arc.  

“...indomitable in victory, insufferable in defeat.” Woody Hayes

William's picture

I'm 18, I have a twitter, and I find it atrocious that these players are espousing such things. I mean seriously, who in their right mind is going to elaborate on riding dick, or talk about pussy or use a racially charged term when communicating with friends through a social medium? It's not youthful naivety, it's utter ignorance. Most of my friends have twitters and literally none of this ever comes up, instead its politics, economics, sports, or music. Guess that most of us "normal" teenagers live such boring lives. Or we're not entirely stupid and classless. If a majority of our nation's youth put such things on Twitter, I fear for our posterity. It is also classless, as an adult, to try and expose such things in order to gain more pageviews.

edit: Also those SAT averages are absolutely pitiful.

SaintTressel's picture

Couple thoughts

Yes it's utter ignorance, which is not a crime

You are probably not a "normal" teenager. I'm guessing you are an above average teenager that associates with other above average teenagers

I fear for our posterity as well, but I doubt that as a group we are any less intelligent/more ignorant then we have ever been in the past

popeurban's picture

As a teacher, I try to get this message to my students all of the time: everything you put on the internet can be held/used against you, even if you delete it.

I am glad that you and your friends are mature enough to avoid this type of discourse, but the "average" teen is not.  I work in a top performing district and our above-average kids make crazy adolescent mistakes all of the time (especially on social media). 

DJ, my wife and I echo your sentiments about the absence of social media in our day; thank goodness we were a few years too early...

Muss_15's picture

A lot of schools try to pretend that these sites don't exist (at least while they're at school). I think this is something that is important to educate students on. Most kids are on at least one social media site. I'm not sure how one can expect them to know what to do, write, or how it will affect them later on in life. Yuri Wright had to learn the hard way. I just think they need to be educated on what these sites can mean for college, jobs, or peoples opinions of you.

thatlillefty's picture

don't know about yall but i'm kind of looking forward to March 6th. I'll know which players are interesting enough off the field to follow on twitter.

The Will Hill tweets are gold.

DJ Byrnes's picture

Whatever they scrape(d) together, it won't rival Duron Carter or Jonathan Newsome during their heydays. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

William's picture

Follow Carlos Hyde. He doesn't say any of that utter crap that those recruits were tweeting. Also he's a pretty chill guy.

741's picture

Did DJ really just say that the mess down at the University of Miami is nothing more than Charles Robinson (of Yahoo! Sports) getting a bunch of kids in trouble?

DJ Byrnes's picture

I believe everybody who committed an actual crime in that case was already in jail before the story broke, though you probably wouldn't believe that by the tone of Robinson's "hard-hitting" piece. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

741's picture

That was about as well documented a story as I have ever seen in sports journalism. I guess we'll see what happens once the NCAA finishes sussing it out.

Brutus's picture

I admittedly didn't spend much time critically evaluating this senseless blather, but is it possible that the author(s) were mocking the mock outrage? Kind of like an Onion article but without wit or humor? It just seems that the repeated use of capitalizing and underlining words for effect is so over the top that these guys can't be serious. I haven't read any of their other material so I have no basis of comparison. Perhaps I'm just hoping that "journalism" hasn't gotten this pathetic. Then again, after Dorman's hit piece on Tressel, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Buckeyeneer's picture


Kudos. This was a good article. You eloquently described my own opinions on some social media outlets. I shake my head at the garbage these kids write while at the same time thanking the technology gods that this crap didn't exist when I was more likely to represent myself as a jackass to all those who would listen. Kids say and do stupid things. So do adults. At some point you must be held accountable for the things you say but that point is probably not before you graduate high school.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

Maestro's picture

After reading the Michigan tweets I started a thread on another site titled "One reason I was hesitant to join the twitter-sphere".  I am very new to twitter and do enjoy the site, but it must be taken with a grain of salt.  The tweets that I read were incredibly immature and that is what I was when I was 17-18.  I have said countless stupid things in my life and I continue to do so regularly, however, when I was 17-18 they were confined to the small group of people that I was with at the time.  My stupidity wasn't broadcast for the world to see, and I am thankful for that.

As I read the Michigan recruit tweets I was bothered at first, but I quickly came to the realization that kids are still just kids.  As a father I know that I have the challenge of preparing my kids for the openess of the world that they are growing up in and the pitfalls that exist on the internet.

vacuuming sucks

Denny's picture

Twitter is for pictures of burritos and poop jokes. It's mostly the best.


schooey's picture

Well said, Mr Byrnes. I grew up using words and opinions the significance of which I did not fully understand, we all do.

These people at "chatsports" are preying on teens for profit, plain and simple. I just blocked anything having to do with this "chatsports" from all my news feeds. I suggest all do the same and forget they ever existed, not a thought, not a click. 


onetwentyeight's picture

All I wanna say is, Will Hill : keep living the dream, buddy. Do it for all of us poor souls stuck in library corrals or cubicles slaving away in front of spreadsheets or memos and briefs. 


That is all. 

DJ Byrnes's picture

10,000 intenet points awarded accordingly. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

gravey's picture

I don't want to be shamed by the tweets of our recruits or those on the roster.  Its harder to root for the team if you have evidence that they are a bunch of homophobic, misogynist, d-bags.  I don't want a team full 'o Tebows either, but damn, some of that stuff was plain embarassing.  

I don't care if they are 18.  

I'll try to avoid reading the OSU edition.

Denny's picture

It's also hard to have respect for your own fanbase if you hold the fanbase to a similar standard. Mostly, just don't follow recruits on Twitter because it's creepy in general.


William's picture

Agreed. I can't believe that middle-aged men were tweeting crap at both Kyle Kalis and Bri'onte Dunn. Get a life.

Maestro's picture

word, I draw the line at professional athletes

vacuuming sucks

DJ Byrnes's picture

Coincidentally enough, the people usually cussing out other team's 18 year olds on the internet are the same ones begging their team's 18 year olds for RTs. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

jkrk's picture

Yeah, the guys throwing the darts are USC and Florida fans. I can see why there's no reason to do an expose on recruits at small time programs like those.

I feel like Pat Forde is one college sports scandal away from devoting his life to doing only Twitter exposes.

ThirdLegLouie's picture

Some of what these kids are saying is completely ignoratnt-- no doubt. But I was really surprised that the ChatSports article focused on the usage of the "N" word by black players to one another as one of these big problems. Clearly, the author has never hung out with black people, ever. 

If you ain't a Silver Bullet, you're a target

William's picture

I find their use of racial slurs to be one of the dumbest things possible. I'm Jewish, but I don't go around calling any of my Jewish friends kikes.

ThirdLegLouie's picture

If Tupac had been Jewish, things may have been different--

I'm not voicing an opinion on the matter. I'm merely stating that its usage is extremely prevalent.  

If you ain't a Silver Bullet, you're a target

wilson.1363's picture

I agree it was stupid of the author to focus on that, but to imply that he would have done differently had he "hung out with black people" is equally ignorant. What if he hung out with Mayor Coleman, Gene Smith, the President, Cameron Heyward, Mike Doss, etc. etc.? All black people don't use that word.

ThirdLegLouie's picture

I never said that all black people use the word- As a culture, the usage of the "N" word is extremely prevalent amongst young men, whom this particlular article was targeting. What if he hung out with Dr. Dre, Snoop, Tupac, Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, etc. etc. whose music these young men he's targeting predominatly listen to on a daily basis?  I don't think it's ignorant to assume that the author would have a different perspective if had a greater familiarity with a specific culture-- clearly, the author has never spent much time amongst this particular demographic, or he would not assoiate such a  "Shock" or "Awe" factor with the usage of the "N" word. 

If you ain't a Silver Bullet, you're a target

BrewstersMillions's picture


Putting "Gucci Mane" in the same sentance as Dre, Snoop, and Tupac....I am disapoint.

ThirdLegLouie's picture

Hahahaha I deserve the -100000 for that.  Strictly a list of rappers and he came to mind because, for reasons I can't comprehend, kids do listen to him. For the record, music talent, or lack thereof aside, I have no respect for anyone who gets an ice cream cone tat on their face. 


How high do you have to be to think, "Damn, this looks awesome"?

If you ain't a Silver Bullet, you're a target

wilson.1363's picture

Exactly. It's a cultural thing, predominantly  a young, black male, urban, hip-hop culture. But you said "black people" in your original post, and not a particular demographic. You explained what you really meant and it's obvious you didn't mean to offend, so, no offense taken.

BrewstersMillions's picture

I'd be interested to hear people's thoughts on what these kids tweeted three years from now when this class is spearheading one of the most dominating units in OSU history. If any of our recruits are as good as advertised and turns out to be a stud each year they see the field, I hope all you high horsemen look back and say "He's classless, he tweeted crude things when he was 18". My guess? Whichever player is on this 'expose' will be only as popular as his on field success allows him to be.

But lets hold kids to ridiculously high standards. They have to be model students, model citizens, oh and ELITE football players. I'm not saying we should recruit in detention centers and prisons but come on people. 18 year old kids. Who cares what you say as an 18 year old. If a kid wants to embarass himself in your eyes, it wont matter come fall when these kids are smacking fools around the Shoe.

Must be cold all the way up there on that high horse.

William's picture

Crude? They're beyond crude, they're crass. Also it's not holding someone to a high standard by asking them to refrain from posting such things on Twitter for the world to see. 

Denny's picture

You also don't have to go there and see it.


DJ Byrnes's picture

Yes, I feel like this would be like calling your cable company, saying, "Give me all the porn channels" and then calling them when back and saying, "Oh my God, what is all this sex going on in my television set? The indecency!"

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

William's picture

No of course you don't. That still doesn't take away from how utterly stupid it is. 

Denny's picture

Young people do utterly stupid things sometimes. This is not new information.

There isn't a happy medium between getting more info about young athletes and greater access to them. If we pine for this, we have to accept the fact that the sword cuts both ways -- we might not like what we see.


BrewstersMillions's picture

Whatever you call it, my point remains. If, say, Noah Spence is on this 'hard hitting piece' (of feces) that is coming out on March 6, and Noah Spence is a two time all American who spends 3-4 years terrorizing OSU's opposition, I just hope for the sake of your argument that you remain angry and offended about what he said when he was 18. Using Spence as my example again, if he turns out to be a buster but is a great student, a charity worker, gets a great education but misses tackles in key moments or gets out of position and costs OSU a game, make sure he gets a pass for being an good dude. That's the double standard that is there man. Great ahtletes have to be great students and great people, anything less is insulting.

Jdadams01's picture

The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of recruits out there who don't have the best upbringing/home life. They live in bad areas and often in poverty. They grow up around guys from the street. And we are shocked and bothered when some of them talk like the streets? Please. Doesn't mean the kid is a bad person. He's just a kid, he needs guidance that hopefully Meyer, Hoke, etc. will provide.

DJ Byrnes's picture

It goes deeper than just where kids come from. At the root is how society is gooming its young, elite athletes. College football is already ridiculous, but look at the explosion of high school football available on TV. HS football isn't very far behind, and the money vultures are already descending on the corpse.

Given the explosion of social media (and just media in general) and sheer $$$$ involved (not to mention the out and out corruption) of "amateur athletics", I think now is a better time than ever to re-examine the entire system. I'm sick of arguing about the leaky pipes under the sink when the whole house's foundation is infested with termites and roaches. 

We don't need new pipes. We need a new house.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

FLBuckeye's picture

Girl on the left (in the above picture) went to my high school. She was known to "get around" with many of the UF football players.