9/1/07: A Tragicomedy in SMS

By Ramzy Nasrallah on September 1, 2011 at 8:57a
45 Comments

September 1, 2007 was the opening Saturday of the college football season. Prior to 2011, it was the longest offseason in Ohio State football history: Buckeye fans had the entire spring and summer to relive Chris Leak channeling Joe Montana, Roy Hall channeling his inner ankle assassin and Troy Smith channeling too many In-N-Out animal-style double cheeseburgers.

We needed relief. We need salvation. And as in 2011 - but for entirely different reasons - we desperately needed a game. In what can only be described as unfortunate timing, that Saturday I found myself at the longest baptism ever recorded in the history of religion. It was scheduled to begin during Ohio State's layup redemption game, which was a home opener against Youngstown State in what amounted to a nice little payday by Jim Tressel to his former employer.

What you see below are the actual text message updates I received in the church from friends during the afternoon hours of 9/1/07. All messages and senders have been consolidated into one stream.


1. Total mismatch dude.  UR not missing a thing.

2. Boone not even trying. Killing his guy. Poor guy.

[from me] ESPN mobile telling me that Jamario O'Neal just scored on a 1-yd run. Assuming that's Saine?

3. Yeah Saine

4. Saine

5. LOL it was Saine

6. ESPN is dumb. They're both #3.

7. BTW Michigan just kicked a FG to cut Appy's lead to 28-17 at half.

[from me] They'll wake up in the second half.

8. Ugh. Wilson's leg is broken. Poor kid.

9. Beanie looks like crap.

10. The Michigan score just came up in the stadium and everyone went nuts.

[from me] They'll wake up in the second half.

11. Foot is off the gas: Tressellball fully engaged. UR missing nothin

12. M FG now 28-20 appy

13. U still in church?

[from me] [instructional expletive]

14. Dude U can't text that in church

15. Pretorious PAT-length FG. Six minute boring drive=3pts TRESSELTRESSELTRESSEL

16. Appy FG 31-20 Appy. M defense looks [fecal-based expletive]

17. (Ohio) Stadium is quiet. More people trying to get M score than paying attention.

18. YSU FG. LOL people clapped for them.

19. Mouth TD. Going for 2.

20. Mike Hart TD. 31-26 Appy

21. Mouth is fired up

22. M TD

[from me] Here it comes.

23. CONVERSION FAIL

24. M tried to punch them in the mouth on the 2pt and it didn't work.

25. NO GOOD STILL 31-26

[from me] Time?

26. 4Q starting now

[from me] M will score 14, win and not let its guard down for the rest of the season. Watch.

27. Ramz Ty says to tell you to say hi to Jesus for him

[from me] [instructional expletive]

28. Some walkon just scored for OSU

29. TOUCHDOWN TREVOR ROBINSON! WHO IS TREVOR ROBINSON

30. TD OSU its 31-6

31. M game is getting really good

32. Punting and tension in ann arbor

APPY IS HAPPYThe horror.

[from me] I have to go light a candle now

33. DONT CHOKE DUDE

34. Good luck ramzy

35. Say a prayer for michigan

36. TD OSU Henton to TWash

37. Touchdown Taurian Washington. Looked good.

38. OSU scored but we're watching M in the concourse

39. M turning the ball over. Appy playing Tresselball.

40. Appy confident. You can hear the nervousness on TV

41. OSU 38-6

[from me] Seriously get out of there and go watch Michigan

42. You should take your own advice

[from me] [instructional expletive]

43. Mouth scored

44. TD UM

45. Michigan scored. Hart with a big run. Michigan by 1.

[from me] they shouldn't have gone for two. God I hate two-point conversions

46. You want M to win?

[from me] Yes. Every game, every year but one.

47. Going for 2 again

[from me] They have to this time bc its only a 1pt lead. (Ari Gold voice) LLOYD!

48. 2pt conversion comin

49. Here we go

50. They should run at them again after Mouth's run

51. OMG

52. NO GOOD

53. 2PT FAILVERSION

54. FAIL TRAIN

55. !!!!!!!

56. WHY DID THEY GIVE IT TO MINOR

[from me] they should be up 3. Embarrassing day for Big Ten. <-------- I had no idea what was coming

57. INTERCEPTION. Game over. Michigan ball.

58. M picked off Appy. Appy QB was having an awesome game

59. Game over. M's ball.

60. M running clock.

61. 3rd down coming they have to get this

62. 4th down. FG. Maybe Stewart & Westbrook can transfer to Appy

63. BLOCKED

64. FG blocked

65. APPY BLOCKED IT

66. [expletive]

67. HOLY [expletive]

68. WHY ARE YOU IN CHURCH ON SATURDAY YOU ONLY LOOK JEWISH

69. Appy driving

70. Big pass

71. Appy picking apart M secondary. On M side of field.

72. [expletive]

73. APPY INSIDE THE M FIVE

[from me] Oh my God. Time please.

74. It's 1st & goal at the M five. 30 seconds

75. 32-31 M w/Appy at the 5. under a minute left

76. FG on 1st down.

77. Here comes FG attempt. Good idea if they botch the snap they can try again.

78. ITS GOOOOOOOOD

79. FG good. Holy god.

80. APPY IS HAPPY

81. 34-32 Appy. 70 yds in like a minute after the FG block. Epic fail by M.

82. M ball now.

83. Henne bomb!

84. Huge play Henne to Manningham. Big gain

85. ITS NOT OVER UNTIL LLOYD CARR SAYS ITS OVER

86. MARIO MANNINGHAM WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE HAILS FROM MANVILLE, MANTANA

87. Wow. M could win this.  that was huuuuge.

[from me] FG range huge?

88. Ball on Appy's 20.  Six ticks.

89. Unreal that Michigan will win this.

90. FG time

[from me] don't get blocked again

91. Appy out of timeouts. Can't ice.

92. Here we go

93. no good

94. BLOCKED! [expletive]

95. blocked again. unbelievable.

96. MICHIGAN LOSES

97. THIS DID NOT JUST HAPPEN

98. APPY IS SO HAPPY

99. Blocked again and Appy almost scored on the runback. [Mutual Michigan fan friend] is going to kill himself.

100. BTW, Buckeyes final score was 38-6

45 Comments

Comments

jfunk's picture

I was attending an unfortunately timed and extremely weird wedding (they lassoed the bride and groom, or at least thats what it looked like to me) and had an eerily similar text conversation with my buddy who was lucky enough to be at the 'Shoe that day.

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

BucksfanXC's picture

I was camping for Labor Day weekend, in the UP of Michigan, wilderness, no Wi-fi, no cellphone service. Camping. Sunday morning I walk to the bathroom to shower, they have a newspaper stand, the front cover shows Appy State celebrating on UofM's field. I figure it's because they didn't lose by 40. Look closer. See that they won. Start screaming and laughing at all those around me. Good times.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

BuckeyeSki's picture

MARIO MANNINGHAM WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE HAILS FROM MANVILLE, MANTANA

Lmao! That is great stuff right there. Now, I curse his name on Sundays when he drops balls thrown right to him by the slow-er Manning brother

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

Rfahncke's picture

Was also in the shoe that day.  I remember hearing really loud screams as we were leaving walking towards HIney-gate following the game. All of a sudden peoplle started running towards any TV in sight in the parking lots as word got out that Appy had blocked the first field goal and was about to score again.  We found one just in time to see them punch it in and get the final block.  It was without a doubt the loudest cheer in town that day.

The following week I went to Steve & Barry's and bought every App-State shirt I could get my hands on.  I kept one, then sent one to every Michigan fan I know.  Probably the best 200 or so bucks I've ever spent.

"Have you earned your buckeye today?"

Nappy's picture

I was in the hospital at 3am getting stitches in my knuckles that morning before the game.  Needless to say, I wasn't too concerned with that nonsense when the 2nd FG got blocked.  I made sure to make fun of all the Mich fans I have the displeasure of knowing. 

Fan of bacon since 1981

osunut2's picture

I took my wife to her first OSU game that day. Of course the OSU game was pretty ho-hum, but by the time Antonio Henton threw that last TD, most of the cheers were coming from the concourse. Most fans figured out that the App State-UM game was on the concourse TVs. Of course, we joined in. When App State blocked that first UM FG, the place went nuts. On the ensuing drive, every first down was met with a cheer that got louder and louder as they inched closer to FG range. When App State booted that knuckler through the uprights with under a minute left, everyone went crazy. That was until Manningham caught that bomb. Most of us were in total disbelief at that point. I still can't believe they got a golden opportunity to win that game. It was sheer pandemonium when App State blocked that final kick. My wife learned more about the OSU-UM rivalry that day than ever.

"Without winners, there wouldn't even be any god-d*mned civilization." 

Darth Brutus's picture

I too was unavoidably detained by some sort of family function that my wife made me attend (marriage really sucks at times). However, I had no idea who UM was playing that week. A buddy texted me about the Bucks, and then later about Michigan. " Who the hell is Appalachian State?! " I asked. My friend replied " My heroes!"

"We need to get hats," I said. Ever since we've both bought ball caps from any teams that have beat Michigan. Our collection is getting pretty big.

"Have you ever been to Michigan? The whole state smells like hot-dog water!"

flipbuckeye's picture

Just an epic, epic game. Even better that we get to relive it through candid text messages from the time it happened. How do you even have those texts still?

P.S. Your friends are hilarious. Texts # 27 and 33 particularly had me laughing.

P.P.S. Very appropriate nickname for Mike Hart.

RoweTrain's picture

I laughed out loud at those two particular texts as well.

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

I archived it that night.  One of those always-remember-where-you-were landmark events in history.

RBuck's picture

All I remember is that I was grinning from ear to ear.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

ih8rolltyde's picture

I was in auburn to watch the south fla game w my best friend from high school. Made him go to b dubs cause I don't miss Buckeye games. There was one dude in a meatchicken shirt, the entire place went ballistic when the second field goal got blocked. I could do nothing but laugh. A lot.

****igan smells like old water that hot dogs were boiled in.  FACT

Buckeyebrowny919's picture

was at my SISTERS WEDDING on this day...was outside wedding...spent most of the reception inside with a flask watching the game haha..swear to god..in the middle of reception speeches i screamed "WHAT THE FU*(?" from the othe room and stopped the whole thing...     :-\

To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift - Steve Prefontaine

Johnny Ginter's picture

i was sitting in my grad dorm room, watching the BTN for the first time and thinking "maaaybe this network thing is going to work out after all..."

buckeyes33's picture

My college buddies and I were spending the afternoon at BW3's up at Bowling Green watching the YSU game since those losers at Time Warner didn't carry Big Ten Network and by the third quarter all eyes were on the Michigan game. I'll never forget watching the lone table of Michigan fans sitting in the corner watching their game on a tiny TV trying to drown themselves in booze as the game turned ugly. As to be expected they spent most of their afternoon being the center of attention for a lot of harassment, as should be considering they were wearing Michigan jerseys in Ohio.

After the game was officailly over all the Buckeye fans were taunting and cheering as if we had won the Natl Championship game. I'll never forget the one Michigan fan walking down Wooster (main street) asking cars to run him over barely able to walk. Such a glorious day.

 

Brady's picture

BW3's here in BG does tend to be Pro-Buckeye.  I hate the fact that there are so many michigan fans up this way though.  If I were in charge, there would be no Michigan apparel allowed within state lines.

 

BTW, Time Warner finally got its' act together and added Big Ten Network.  I wouldn't still be with them if they had not.

 
 

bgbuckeye's picture

You live in BG, Brady?  It's nice to see someone in the area posting on here.  

 

I was definitely glad when Time Warner picked up the BTN.

Brady's picture

Absolutely.  Graduated from BGSU and never quite made it out of town. 

I called and threatened Time Warner numerous times to add the Big Ten Network or I was leaving (because my 1 household would have meade a huge difference to some huge company) and they finally did.  I like to think it was my bitching and moaning that turned the tide for BG buckeye fans.

 
 

Lucys Daddy is a Buckeye's picture

I am in Findlay. Definitely Buckeye country, but too damn many Wolverrat fans in the area.

...And when we win the game, We'll buy a keg of booze....And we'll drink to old Ohio til we wobble in our shoes...

larzdapunk's picture

I lived in Lubbock, TX at the time, and the only bar that was open at 11 am and had the Big Ten Network was completely deserted except for me, two other OSU fans, and one Michigan fan.  As OSU wrapped up their dismantling of YSU, I stuck around to watch the end of the UM-Appy State game.  We three OSU fans went nuts at the end and the UM fan ran out of that bar as fast as he could.

Jdadams01's picture

I'm still shocked that the Buckeye Room or some other store doesn't sell this game on DVD. I don't think they realize how much money they could probably make off of OSU fans alone. I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Brady's picture

I have no crazy story about where I was during that game.  I was sitting on my couch and drinking off the hangover from the night before.  I tend to get a little over-amped on the nights before the Buckeye opener.  It was a great game to watch but definitely hurt the Big Ten in the long run.  It DID help the hangover though!

 
 

buckeye56's picture

The thing I will never forget about that day was watching the end of the game on the monitors outside the A-deck portals. After TBDBITL had marched up the ramp and dismissed, the band members hung around and watched the ending as well. Right after the Appy St blocked field goal the remaining band members (most of them) broke into an impromptu round of "the victors" followed up by  Across the Field for good measure.  There is a video of it on youtube somewhere and were i not at work I would post the link to it.  I remember almost nothing from the Buckeye game that day, but will remember those 5 minutes for the rest of my life.

Pam's picture

I was down the shore for Labor day and stopped iin a bar to check scores. I literally screamed out loud "Holy sh!t, UM lost to App. State!" But my disbeif turned into a sobering thoght which was "The Big Ten is going to take a major hit because of this"

Maestro's picture

I laughed my ass off.

vacuuming sucks

Poe McKnoe's picture

Last time this was ever written.

37. Touchdown Taurian Washington. Looked good.

Lucys Daddy is a Buckeye's picture

+1

...And when we win the game, We'll buy a keg of booze....And we'll drink to old Ohio til we wobble in our shoes...

Bucks's picture

"[from me] [instructional expletive]

14. Dude U can't text that in church"

 

HAHAHA. Love it.

Pretty sure I remember Appy. State selling out of all their merchandise & going on backorder in the week after this game.

Idot08bojangles's picture

I was in the marching band that day. After we marched off the field and did our usual post game routine, we found ourselves under the stadium, glued to the TVs that were showing the game. When that last kick was blocked, everyone went nuts.

Then we started playing M*ch*gan's fight song. Never been happier playing that song.

Scarlet and Grey until the day I die.
idotter: September 27, 2008. OSU vs. Minnesota

Matt M.'s picture

I remember thinking if we lose to UM after they lost to Appy, we would never hear the end of it. I really felt like playing them that year was a no-win situation for us. We either beat them like we're supposed to... or we lose to the team that lost to this. Ah, that video was epic after the game. "Hot, hot, hot!"

sharkvsghost's picture

I was at a bar in Seattle with some Ohio State and PSU alums.  I remember people cheering and dancing around, and me trying to explain to them that this was actually the worst thing that could have possibly happened to the B1G.  The PSU fans seemed to get the most joy out of it.  I was more in the "is this real life?" camp.

swing hard in case you hit it.

The Stanley Jackson 5's picture

The Ohio State Alumni bar is right next door to the UM Alumni bar here in San Diego...........as soon as the game ended the crowd explodes, and immediately half the OSU bar runs next door to form a sort of "tunnel of shame" on either side of the steps leading out of the bar and down the street......every last d-baggin' one of them was mockingly cheered as they left the bar........

tampa buckeye's picture

Moon doggies is the best spot.

gwalther's picture

I wasn't going to go to a bar, but after the first half I met up with friends. A ridiculous celebration ensued about 30 minutes after I made it north to Little Bar. The place almost blew up.

Class of 2008

BuckeyeSaab's picture

I was at the Buckeye Watch at Tonic on Times Square.  They switched the TVs over to the App St / Mich game after the Ohio State game was over.  The place was much louder cheering on App St. then it had been for the hum drum Ohio St win just before.

The best part of that day though was walking home I crossed paths with a Michigan fan heading the other way on 45th street.  He was in his gameday outfit, I was in mine, our eyes lock and then I just started laughing.  The look of humiliation and anger on his face as I walked by, laughing, just wonderful.  It puts a smile on my face every time I remember.

I'm sorry for not being sorry.

Elika's picture

I'll never forget that day. I wasn't able to watch either as it was the day I moved to Columbus from Orange County... I was flying for most of it... and landed just minutes before the ending. Turned on my phone and was bombarded with text messages. My brother and I scrambled to get the score from our phones and when we found out the result... STUNNED. Embarrassed for the B1G but laughing hysterically. Conference embarrassment is always curable when it comes at Michigan's expense. So bummed we missed that game.

How firm thy friendship... OH-I-O!

Lucys Daddy is a Buckeye's picture

I don't totally understand everyone's reasoning that Appy State beating scUM was bad for the B1G.  I get it that they are/were a D-II school, but they had just won the D-II National Championship the previous year and they had a heck of a quarterback and a pretty good defense.  Appy State beating Michig@n is nowhere near as embarrassing as Toledo beating them.  When Toledo beat them, I was MUCH more shocked.

Reminds me of a joke from that season...

Didja hear that Michigan is cancelling their trip to Columbus to play the Buckeyes this year?

They just can't seem to get past Toledo.

...And when we win the game, We'll buy a keg of booze....And we'll drink to old Ohio til we wobble in our shoes...

btalbert25's picture

I could care less how the B1G looks based off another team's win or loss.  I just don't care about what everyone else in the conference does, and I for one love it when Michigan loses, and it doesn't matter to me who it is that beats them.  I'm just not ever hoping Michigan, Penn State, Iowa, or Wisconsin wins games.  If they do fine, but I'm certainly not cheering for them to do so.

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

You mean to tell me, there wasn't just a little bit of you pulling for that Michigan team to beat Florida?

btalbert25's picture

I didn't, I instead cheered for a meteor, an atomic twister, spontaneous volcano, and a giant sinkhole to open up and swallow the stadium, but I was basically indifferent to the outcome of that game.  When there's no good option to pull for, I don't watch it.  Kind of like if the Yankees and Braves make the world series.  I hate them both so much I just don't care about the outcome.

poop's picture

I was, just to see Tebow and Meyer walk off the field with thier tails between their legs. The funny thing is, if Bike Hart hadn't fumbled inside the 5 yard line twice, Michigan would have thumped Florida by 2+ touchdowns. 

Scott's picture

A buddy of mine and I made our way to Little Bar on North Campus to catch the end of the game. It was apparent most of us hadn't seen the majority of the game because every time someone new walked into the bar there was an inevitable cheer when someone thought a replay from earlier in the game was live (I made the mistake, too).

The place went nuts at the end, and perfectly capturing the bittersweet moment, an older alumni -- cheering not even a few minutes before -- said, "What a sad day for the Big Ten."

Class of 2008

Menexenus's picture

Thanks for that sweet, sweet memory.  :-)

Real fans stay for Carmen.

osukdawg76's picture

I was working at Best Buy and I remember so many people being in home theater because we had a DirecTV feed and BTN was only on DTV back then.  When Appy State blocked the last field goal, the entire store erupted.  There were roughly 200 people watching in home theater.

I, for one, welcome our new coaching overlords.