Caption Friday: American Badass

By 11W Staff on May 6, 2011 at 1:00p
Tougher than you

Yes, that's Woody riding on top of a van during a snowstorm.

You guys killed it last week, so hopefully we'll be able to entertain each other again. Truly exceptional captions might even earn t-shirt rewards.

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poguemahone's picture

The conqueror rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed Wolverines walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children, robed in scarlet and gray, stood with him in the chariot, or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror, holding a golden pair of pantaloons, and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting. 

Joe Beale's picture

+1000 for the Patton reference.

Bucksfan's picture

Despite being made of steel, Woody Hayes did not make a great antenna for the 610 AM Radio Van.

NW Buckeye's picture

"So this is what it feels like to actually wear a coat and gloves in a snow storm!"

BucksfanXC's picture

That's quite alright ma'am. I'm wearing a coat so I can't expect you to go without one, much less completely topless.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

builderofcoalitions's picture

As Coach Hayes greeted the cheers of addoring Buckeye fans lined up along High Street, the Univerisity of Michigan's lame attempt at a Death Star lurked just beyond his line of sight. When asked about the failed sneak attack later, Hayes snorted, "It'll take a whole lot more than a space ball conjured up by hippies and longbeards to take this old bastard down!"

Because we couldn't go for three.

OHIOinME's picture

Hi.  Hello.  Hey there.  That's right, Go Bucks.  Yes, I piss awesome.  Hi.  Hello.  I-O!

741's picture

"What is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."

Toasty McBuns's picture

Santa Claus?? We don't need no stinkin' Santa Claus to finish our Christmas Parades!

RoweTrain's picture

Because I couldn't go for 5!!

"Just bow up and go out and play." ~ D. Lee

"As it stands right now, I know I am the best athlete in college football." ~ B. Miller

Maestro's picture

I bet Nixon doesn't have to put up with this shit.

vacuuming sucks

jfunk's picture

Coach Hayes, followed by one of his enormous brass balls (unfortunately the second one would not fit in the frame).

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

Maestro's picture

This van better not have been made in Michigan.  If so I am going to drop 'em and take a dump right here.

vacuuming sucks

Colin's picture

Yes, kneel before the king.

Maestro's picture

Gives a new definition to a moon roof

vacuuming sucks

Irricoir's picture

Because a float is too "White Collar".

I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.

J.B.'s picture

"Excuse me, your balls are showing...Bumblebee Tuna!"

RBuck's picture

"I'm sure as hell glad I'm not in shirt sleaves today; gettin' too old for that shit."

Long live the southend.

BuckeyeSki's picture

"HA! Michigan is going to beat us by HOW MUCH?! See you in November, son."

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

Peter Pete Peterson's picture

Next time I'm riding in the convertible with that cute blonde!!!

Peter "Pete" Peterson

"Recruiting is like shaving, if you don't do it everyday, you look like a bum!"  -Jim Tressel


Leanenaud's picture

I have a hot BM brewing and my ass is frozen to this damn helmet chair.

Scott K's picture

"Charles Foster Kane can have his Rosebud.  When I die, my last words will be "Rose Bowl'"


"There's a fine line between stupid, and....clever.  David St. Hubbins/Nigel Tufnel

Scott K's picture

"I thought a ticker tape parade would be wasteful, so we ordered snow instead"

"There's a fine line between stupid, and....clever.  David St. Hubbins/Nigel Tufnel

Peter Pete Peterson's picture

STOP! Three things can happen when you throw that snowball...

Peter "Pete" Peterson

"Recruiting is like shaving, if you don't do it everyday, you look like a bum!"  -Jim Tressel


Conroy's picture

Hail to the victors.

M Man's picture

Butus?  Brutus?  Where the hell is Brutus?  Get Brutus up here... now!

beserkr29's picture

Riding in his command vehicle through the streets of Ann Arbor, greeted as a hero by the newly liberated citizens, Woody is handed a cable from the commissioner "Do not pass Toledo.  Let Sparty wipe out the Maize and Blue."  Woody, scoffing, tells his aide to cable back "Already taken AA.  Should I give it back?".

jfunk's picture

+ Eleventy million for the Patton reference.

Scotch: It may be too early to drink it, yes; but people it is never to early to think about it.

RBuck's picture

Plus a million...give this guy a t-shirt.

Long live the southend.

NeARBuckeye's picture

Rollin' down the street smokin' indo sippin' on gin and juice... 

Run_Fido_Run's picture

Bob Hope ain't got nothin on me.

NoVA Buckeye's picture

You know what would have made this better? Going for three.

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

thedecline19's picture

"I get to ride in a big helmet on top of a car just for punching Charlie Bauman?  I guess in order to get a ride in the Popemobile I would have had to punch Biakabutuka."

thePhilipJFry's picture

If you think this van is the silliest thing you've ever seen just wait until you see that school up north's defense in 2010.

bup bup bup's picture

"for a long time i wondered why woody would stipulate in his will that he be stuffed and mounted on a giant football helmet. now i know"

I am a Legend. -Will Smith, "I Am Legend"

Sofa Kingdom's picture

Toss me a roll of toilet paper.

GoBucks713's picture

Shitter's full

-The Aristocrats!

GoBucks713's picture

Now THIS is how you run Dave!

-The Aristocrats!