Luke Wypler is all of us.
When asked if he can quote poets and philosophers like fellow Buckeye center Harry Miller, Luke Wypler says Dr. Seuss, maybe. pic.twitter.com/PBxOLiJYyV
— Griffin Strom (@GriffinStrom3) September 8, 2021
Word of the Day: Parturition.
BIG NUMBERS. I'll admit it – I was openly bitching about Ohio State's lack of offensive production for at least half of Thursday night's game.
That's especially hilarious in hindsight, because...
The 10.31 yards per play Ohio State averaged in last week's season-opening win at Minnesota were the most in a game in school history.
— Joey Kaufman (@joeyrkaufman) September 8, 2021
I mean, that'll happen when all six of your touchdowns come on plays of 30 or more yards.
The second-half time of possession was probably the most hilariously misleading stat I've ever read because Ohio State basically just scored in like 45 seconds everytime it touched the ball and Minnesota did pretty much the opposite.
Regardless, that stat puts this offense in some insane company. Here are the games that rond out of the top-five, courtesy of our own Matt Gutridge:
- 2015 Virginia Tech – 10.2 yards per play
- 2014 Wisconsin – 10.0 yards per play
- 2005 Notre Dame – 9.6 yards per play
- 2005 Michigan State – 9.4 yards per play
I remember all of those games vividly, and fondly. Mostly because those are pretty much all the games I've watched repeatedly on YouTube since they've been played, if you toss 2014 Alabama in there, too.
TO PLAY OR NAH? Oregon fans are in an extremely unenviable position of having no idea whether their best player will suit up in the biggest game of the season. Been there multiple times; it ain't fun.
Unfortunately for them, we're past the midway point in the week and things ain't exactly any clearer.
The All-American edge rusher, who sprained his left ankle against Fresno State last week, is “trying to get there,” Oregon coach Mario Cristobal said after practice Wednesday.
“Not there yet,” Cristobal said, “but hopeful that we will be.”
On Monday, Cristobal said Thibodeaux wouldn’t play if he hadn’t practiced at all during the week. Asked if the third-year sophomore had practiced this week, Cristobal wouldn’t specify.
“It’s still early in the week,” he said. “We’re doing some things, just not doing a whole bunch. We’re being I wouldn’t say cautious but we’re doing the right thing to make sure that as we heal, that we’re healing at the right pace so that we can be available as soon as we can possibly be.”
To be fair, I also have no idea about the status of no fewer than three Buckeye starters and won't until like three hours until gametime.
Though, I'm not going to pretend that's anywhere close to the same thing as potentially missing the best player in the country with no backup even remotely comparable.That's a unique level of suck I haven't felt since... oh, just 2018. But even then, Chase Young existed.
ALL WHITE EVERYTHING. Oregon has rolled out the uniforms they'll be wearing on Saturday, and I must say, the look is pretty damn clean.
Battle ready. @OregonFootball uni combo for week 2. #GoDucks pic.twitter.com/5qsbPmwH3W
— GoDucks (@GoDucks) September 9, 2021
The only reasonable response is for the Buckeyes to run out of the tunnel in the playoff unis with the gray sleeve stripes. Do the right thing, Ryan Day.
WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN? It appears that Mark Schlabach has not learned that it's generally a bad idea to act as if a team or conference is eliminated from playoff contention in Week 1 (or Week 2, even).
Either that, or he knows damn well what happened back in 2014 and he's still extremely confident in this prediciton. Which, respect.
The ACC's playoff hopes are dead
My colleague Andrea Adelson and I discussed a doomsday scenario for the ACC last week: Clemson loses to Georgia, North Carolina falls at Virginia Tech, and Alabama and Ole Miss hammer Miami and Louisville, respectively. Unfortunately for the conference, all of those things happened opening weekend, and it was actually worse. Georgia Tech fell to Northern Illinois, which didn't win a game in 2020. Duke lost to Charlotte, which had never beaten a Power 5 opponent. When does basketball practice start?
Obviously, this gives off extremely "the Big Ten's title chances are dead!" vibes from when the Buckeyes lost to Virginia Tech in Week 2 of 2014, but honestly, I think he's got a point and I don't think we can just sit here and pretend that's the same thing.
When Ohio State lost to Virginia Tech, it took two absolutely lopsided wins against top-10 teams in prime time on national television for the Buckeyes to *just barely* snag the last spot in the playoff. And that doesn't even include road wins against a ranked Minnesota team and in a Penn State whiteout.
Clemson's schedule is... not that. Preseason, they had the easiest schedule of any Power Five team, and that was including the game against No. 4 Georgia, which they not only lost, but couldn't even score a touchdown.
Granted, the Tigers also didn't drop nearly as far in the polls as Ohio State did and lost to a much better team than Virginia Tech. But they still have quite a bit of ground to make up, and not many chances at all to do it.
SONG OF THE DAY. "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A doctor warns against holding in farts... Meet the giant 'swimming head' creature that lived in our oceans 500 million years ago... Reddit's quest for the perfect fap drug... The Italian man living as a hobbit... Email is an awful online ID that we use for almost everything... A woman's mission to rewrite Nazi history on Wikipedia...
