Dear Ryan Day, I expect one of these in my mailbox when Ohio State wins its fifth(? is that the one we're on these days?) Big Ten Championship trophy in December.
Ajax melted down their 2021 league trophy into 42,000 of these stars.
— Front Office Sports (@FOS) May 13, 2021
The Dutch football club gave one to all of their season ticket holders- fans whove supported the club financially without getting to see them play live.
A second copy of the trophy remains in their case. pic.twitter.com/Dx96brk91t
Please and thank you.
Word of the Day: Crag.
SET YOUR ALARMS. I'm an unabashed lover of noon games, but even I was a tad disheartened when I heard the news that this year's Duck hunt was going to be a nooner.
But then, this graphic changed my mind. Making Oregon play their biggest game in years at 9 a.m. local time is objectively hilarious.
Mark it down.
— Oregon Football (@oregonfootball) May 13, 2021
Ducks at Buckeyes set for "Big Noon" kickoff on September 11.#GoDucks x @CFBONFOX pic.twitter.com/8464k2Mrlx
The Bucks are going to be up three scores before McDonald's even switches to lunch. You just hate to see that.
BAD AT DOING CRIME. In a shocking turn of events, it would seem that the brilliant individuals who flipped cars and damaged property while being recorded by multiple people from multiple angles have been identified and charged.
Nine people have been charged — seven of them with rioting — after multiple vehicles were damaged during the annual "ChittFest" party near Ohio State University's campus last month.
According to a release from Columbus police, additional charges are possible against four other people.
Seven people have been charged with "riot and related offenses" and two people have been charged with receiving stolen property and criminal damaging, according to the release.
My fatherly message to my unborn children: if you absolutely must do a crime, please do not do it in plain sight of hundreds of people who all have a high-definition camera in their pocket.
BOLD STRATEGY. Even if I had a million guesses with my life on the line, I would never have even come close to guessing the identity of the new Pac-12 commissioner.
Mostly because what the hell is this?
AP source: Pac-12 hires sports entertainment executive George Kliavkoff of MGM Resorts as its new commissioner.
— Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) May 13, 2021
And I'm glad I was not alone!
I have figured out the ID of the next #Pac12 commissioner but am so shocked that quadruple confirmation is required to make sure I'm not being set up.
— Jon Wilner (@wilnerhotline) May 13, 2021
On one hand, I'm extremely skeptical!
On the other, it's not like whatever the Pac-12 was doing beforehand was the gold standard of anything, athletically speaking, so why the hell not? Let's get weird.
I. The good news is, you can now get Ezekiel Elliott to deliver custom messages to you! The bad news is, you might have to skip your car payment to do it!
Finally on @cameo . Lets get it ! https://t.co/0mDQuNsHWg pic.twitter.com/mhUEhMS6ae
— Ezekiel Elliott (@EzekielElliott) May 11, 2021
Maybe I'll just settle for the $20 direct message option. Lord knows I need more friends a friend.
SONG OF THE DAY. "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N Roses.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. That one time Hitler's girlfriend visited Iceland and the British invaded... How the personal computer broke the human body... Why you probably won't get audited this year... How Americans became soccer's biggest villains... Why are we so spiteful?... What you may not know about poison ivy...
