Skull Session: Dwayne Haskins is Still the Answer in Washington, Michigan State is Accused of Cheating, and the Coronavirus Kills the Ivy League Tournament

By Kevin Harrish on March 11, 2020 at 4:59 am
Brutus hides his face in today's skull session.

I offer you my sincerest congrats – you've made it another day.

Song of the Day: "Slow Dancing in a Brunin' Room" performed by John Mayer.

Word of the Day: Tedium.

 DWAYNE TRAIN STILL ROLLING. Your TV has probably told you recently that Dwayne Haskins is actually not very good at football and that the Redskins should replace him as soon as possible. But former Buckeye linebacker Bobby Carpenter is to tell that your TV is a lying-ass TV.

(For the record, the irony that Bobby is also on TV is not lost on me)

And if you put this into context, it was his rookie season after one single college season as a starter, behind an offensive line that rates slightly above dumpster fire, throwing to three rookie wide receivers (to be fair, one of them was Terry McLaurin) and he had to deal with a coaching change to top it all off.

Just take Chase Young and relax.

 SPARTY, NO! My favorite Woody Hayes story is how genuinely paranoid he was that Michigan spies were watching his practices from Lincoln Tower.

A few decades later, green Michigan is out here validating all his fears.

I doubt we're ever going to find out who the (alleged) team is, but out of sheer hilarity, I'm just going to pretend it was Rutgers in 2016. Say it is so.

 *SPIDER-MAN POINTING MEME*. Nebraska rolled out a groundbreaking new program yesterday that it absolutely came up with all by itself and has certainly never been done before.

Yup – truly a one-of-a-kind program they've got there in Lincoln. It's so brilliant, it makes me wonder why nobody has ever tried to do something like that bef... Oh.

Obviously, I can read and see that they're just claiming to the first to do it "for every student-athlete," but I still think it's pretty weak to blatantly ape an idea and then act like a trailblazer when you roll it out.

But hey, if these are the triumphs you've gotta celebrate to cling to relevance, don't let me stop you. Maybe in another two years, you can borrow the idea of winning a Big Ten title!

 THE END. The Ivy League may have been trying to do what's best for its players, but instead, they've got a whole collection of kids who had their hearts ripped from their chests with no warning.

For the seniors, they just showed up at practice, and then their careers were over instead.

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this,” Brodeur said. “We worked hard enough that we knew this wasn’t how it was going to end. At least another game.

“It’s so clear that there’s a disconnect between the actual athletes and the administration, the people running [the Ivy League],” he continued. “Not that they don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t understand the repercussions of how this affects the athletes, what they were working for, what they would do for one more game.”


The women’s players, in response, have started a petition to reinstate the tournaments, calling “the hypocrisy of our Ivy League presidents baffling and alarming.” They’ve communicated with players at Columbia and Yale, the two other women’s teams affected, who have also signed. Princeton, the regular-season champion who received an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament as a result, will not sign, according to Grasela. But captains from other schools will. Men’s players will.

They just want to play. Anywhere. Fans or no fans. “The pride to be able to put on a Penn uniform, and play for our teammates, and be in a competitive atmosphere, at that time, you start to black out all the noises, and all the fans,” Grasela said. “You’re really playing for the four people that are standing beside you, and everyone on the bench. 

“I’d play outside,” Grasela said. “Put on some Converse, find a hoop. Doesn’t even have to have a net.”

The most insane part is that they just straight-up didn't have an answer for why they couldn't have just played the tournament with no spectators. Instead, they just weirdly insisted that "costs were absolutely not a factor in this decision."


 A NEW SKIPPER. The Ohio State women's rowing program saw an extremely abrupt change in leadership yesterday as the school rather unceremoniously announced longtime head coach Andy Teitelbaum was out.

Andy Teitelbaum will no longer serve as the head coach of the Ohio State women’s rowing program, effective immediately. Fourth-year assistant coach Kate Sweeney, a former Buckeye rower from 2009-12, will serve as the interim head coach for the upcoming 2020 campaign, the 25th in school history. A national search to replace Teitelbaum will begin once the season is over.

I'm not going to speculate too much, but you don't send a release like that for the departure of a coach that won three consecutive NCAA titles and nine Big Ten championships two weeks before the start of the season if everything is fine.

I wish I had more to tell you, but I'm just as curious as you here.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A seventh-grader mistakes pepper spray for body spray... A man who spent over two years in jail for a murder he didn't commit was left in jail after his acquittal... Inside the bright life of a murdered Hollywood sex therapist... The intrepid mother and son who unraveled a geographic hoax... Scientists in Hungary claim to have found a new particle that reveals a fifth force of nature... Why Medieval cats look weird as hell.

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