Skull Session: Sooners Have a New Coach, Ohio State Might Too, and a Crystal Ball That Makes Miracles.

By Ramzy Nasrallah on June 8, 2017 at 4:59 am
L-R: a goat, the GOAT
via
90 Comments

Good morning, friends. You're waking up to history - it's been over six years since 11W allowed me to run a Skull Session.

Let's take a journey together back to that morning to soak in a simpler time. Here's the scene: It's a Monday in May, 2011. The offseason! When nothing ever happens! Hmm, the comment section in that forgotten Skully seems curiously barren by 11W standards. I wonder what happened that mor-

omg noooooo

I know what you're thinking, and I'm thinking it too: Holy shit, the Dispatch broke news? Folks, it was a crazy time to be alive. I'm just thankful for this quiet week when no Ohio State coaches abruptly left their positions. Wait, hold on - I meant no famous coaches from Youngstown suddenly abandoned their pos- oh come on.

Years later when I was with Coach Tressel at the ESPN premier of Youngstown Boys (pic above, related) I intended to give him an in-person longform about that cursed Skully, but instead I got excited, shoved my phone in our faces and shouted "it's a Tress-selfie! Get it?" And he assured me that he got it. Tress always gets it.

As you've seen over the past days and first learned Saturday when DJ informed you he was going to be vacationing in the Canadian Rockies - it's Retro Week here at 11W, harkening back to when Skullys were written by different people each day. I'm sure that despite the spooky coaching changes associated with me taking command of this space you'll be welcoming me back to your wake-up routine with open ar-

haters gonna hate

Writing in mornings, dangling participles aren't a issue nor should omitted punctuation grammar errors or missing Oxford commas be a prolbem. Now LET'S GO LET'S SKULLY

But first, ICYMI - and you missed a lot (shout-out to #workingpeople)

Stay tuned to Eleven Warriors all day and every day or else you'll miss literally 10 years' worth of news on a random June Wednesday. We'll follow the Ohio State basketball coaching search for you, for free. You're welcome.

Word of the day: Haarschmuckfachgeschäft

 BAKER MAYFIELD CAN ONLY LOSE THE HEISMAN. The Buckeyes are not going to overlook Part I of Kevin Wilson's Burning Bridges Tour when he returns to Bloomington for his first game since departing the Hoosier football program. His intentions should be unkind, and that Thursday night #banger gives him and his coaching colleagues an extra two days to prepare for his former-former employer, the Oklahoma Sooners.

That team hasn't lost since it faced Ohio State early last season. When we last saw Oklahoma it was disemboweling Auburn in New Orleans, giving it both Alabama school pelts in the SEC's Rose Bowl in recent years. Big Game Bob was real. But how much will OU miss him?

The 2017 schedule isn't exactly a minefield - via Blatant Homerism:

OKLAHOMA's PATH TO THE PLAYOFF IS PAVED
OPPONENT HOME/AWAY PROJ. LINE WIN PROB.%
UTEP H OU -40 98.9%
OHIO STATE A OSU - 6.5 34.9%
TULANE H OU -31 96.3%
BAYLOR A OU -14.5 86.8%
IOWA STATE H OU -23 93.2%
TEXAS N OU -10 73.6%
KANSAS STATE A OU -9.5 73.6%
TEXAS TECH H OU -21 93.2%
OKLAHOMA STATE A OU -3.5 86.8%
TCU H OU -15.5 86.8%
KANSAS A OU -28 96%
WeST VIRGINIA H OU -18 93.2%

My cryptography contacts at the NSA tell me that reading Column Two in the chart aloud reveals the intent behind the Oklahoma's schedule: HA HAH. NA. HA HAH.

Those sneaky Sooners swapped out last season's season opener Houston for UTEP, which barreled its way to a 4-8 record competing in Conference USA. The consequence of losing in Columbus in September will have the staying power of a small zit on Oklahoma's resumé, since it will very likely - as it did in 2016 - not lose again after that, provided new head coach 33-year old Lincoln Riley operates Stoops' machine the way his old boss did.

 BUCKEYE LAXERS 4 LEANNA. Ohio State men's lacrosse just finished its most exciting season ever, with a thrilling come-from-behind victory over Towson in the Final Four en route to finishing as the national runners-up. They're done, but it's still lacrosse season.

This Saturday the Ohio Machine, which drafted Johnny Pearson, J.T. Blublaugh and Tyler Pfister (and already has former Buckeye Dominique Alexander, the league's second-best middie) plays the Boston Cannons. The honorary captain is Hilliard Davidson's Leanna Ramirez, who was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor in March.

Ohio Machine plays home games at the Obetz Fortress at 1841 Williams Road. You can buy your tickets here - and a percentage of all tickets sold using the code LEANNA will be donated to her YouCaring fund that helps cover her family's medical bills.

Go Bucks. Go Leanna. Pay Forward.

 EAST LANSING'S CHIEF EXPORT IS NOW BAD NEWS. Michigan State has done nothing but fill the offseason news blotter with disgusting headlines. Earlier this week the Spartans dismissed football players Donnie Corley, Josh King, and Demetric Vance after arrest warrants were issued for all three for 3rd-degree sexual misconduct charges.

Coach Mark Dantonio learned about the incident that led to the charges back in January, from former player Auston Roberston, per MSU Trustee Mitch Lyons while appearing on The Huge Show on WBBL-FM in Grand Rapids - via MLive:

"When Auston Robertson came into his office for a regularly weekly meeting, Coach D asked him the regular questions he typically asks him, and then he became a little emotional and didn't even go into details...He alluded to the fact that something happened, and Coach D had a sense that it involved some sort of sexual allegation, and he immediately said 'Don't say anything more.'" 

The report states that Roberston got emotional while discussing the incident and revealed he knew the alleged victim before Dantonio stopped the meeting and contacted MSU's Office of Institutional Equity, which follows the university's (and most institutions') protocol.

Lyons later told MLive he "completely misspoke" and "multiple cases going on and get confusing at times." His version of the events mirrors the details of MSU's investigation report that was released earlier this week.

 CRYSTAL CROOTIN' COINCIDENCE. One of the best advancements in college football's game-within-the-game has been 247Sports' Crystal Ball Predictions.

This brilliant and inclusive innovation allows Crootin' enthusiasts to not only gauge where coveted #teens may be heading, but it also gives them extra horses to follow - the Crootin' experts themselves. Eleven Warriors' Andrew and Andrew put a lot of effort and precision into their Crystal Ball activities. They know they're being watched. <--- this is foreshadowing

It's a prediction business. It's a relationship business. And the internet never forgets - their predictions are out there for everybody to see - so Andrew and Andrew work hard to be right.

They're texting coaches. They're Snapchatting the #teens themselves. They're stalking their teachers, DMing parents, Pinteresting girlfriends, Instagramming that one helicopter uncle and Facebooking entire entourages. Andrew also develops meaningful relationships with the lunch ladies at 5-star recruits' high schools. I won't say which Andrew, but he does it. He's that committed to the craft.

The Crystal Ball database also timestamps when predictions are made, so you can not only look up who picked whom to commit where, but when they did it. Here's an example/screenshot:

Crystal ballin coincidence

In this case, Andrew and Andrew made a pick and then another Crystal Baller made the same pick about an hour later. And here, Andrew made a pick late one night and by the following morning, he had company with that prediction:

Crystal ballin coincidence

Here we have Andrew Crystal Balling a teen to Pitt. Minutes later:

Crystal ballin coincidence

A week earlier there was a little more lag between the Pitt picks. 

Crystal ballin coincidence

A pattern emerges: The same Crystal Baller routinely becomes the first Crystal Baller to join Andrew or Andrew (or Andrew and Andrew *DISCLOSURE* they often share information). Coincidences! 

Crystal ballin coincidence

Now, it's not always the case. Sometimes this Crystal Baller isn't the first one to emulate an Andrew/Andrew prediction. Sometimes he is second.

coincidence!
coincidence!

It happens at a statistically significant clip: Thus far in the 2018 recruiting cycle 127 Crystal Ballers have made predictions and none of them are calling Andrew or the Andrews' shots quite so quickly or with such frequency - regardless of where they're predicting the 'croot to land:

coincidence!
coincidence!
coincidence!

Your skepticism is understandable. Could this all be cherrypicked for effect? Is this #FakeNews? Here is the 247Source material and below is a screenshot of all the coincidences I found in examining the pattern before my eyes got too tired to continue (it's only from the current 2017-18 recruiting season):

that's a lot of coincidences!

Coincidences happen. So do miracles!

 THOSE BLTs. The hornero bird building a house...Something went wrong on the way to the 25 Best Bourbons Ever Made...The people who keep us company...Spotify's biggest one-hit wonders...Texas just made texting while driving illegal...well, almost nothing.

90 Comments
View 90 Comments