Pro Day Skull Session: NFL Descends on Columbus, Basketbucks Battle Sparty for Third Time, and a New Recruiting Job

By D.J. Byrnes on March 11, 2016 at 4:59 am
Chris Worley patiently awaited the March 11th 2016 Skull Session.
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Penn State–Ohio State's men's opening B1G tournament game ended in wild fashion on Thursday night:

Joey Bosa plays basketball now! Masterstroke by Thad Matta, though I do wonder why he didn't think of this earlier. 

This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:

  • Every WWF/WWE title change from 1994 to 2005, Part 1.
  • Every WWF/WWE title change from 1994 to 2005, Part 2.
  • Pastor's wedding interrupted by jilted ex.

 PRO DAY. Full disclaimer: I'm not Joey Bosa's agent, but if I were he wouldn't have made a cameo in last night's Big Ten tournament.

"I don't care if it's Penn State in Indianapolis!" I would've told him. "The dang Jacksonville Jaguars are in town! Blake Bortles can't win without a defense!"

It's true: There hasn't been a cartel meeting like this since the New Day Co-Op. Ohio State's pro day (starts at 9:30 a.m.) is finally here. 

From nfl.com:

Try this for impact: Ohio State could have as many as five players picked in Round 1 alone, NFL Media analysts Charles Davis and Daniel Jeremiah suggested Thursday night on NFL Network's "Path to the Draft". The most likely first-rounders: defensive end Joey Bosa, cornerback Eli Apple, linebacker Darron Lee, offensive tackle Taylor Decker and running back Ezekiel Elliott. All but Decker are underclassmen.

OSU's pro day will be Friday, and Davis tabbed it "the Oscars of pro days."

Bosa and Elliott are easy enough choices -- they're regarded as the top players in the draft at their position and have long been projected as first-rounders. Make no mistake about the draft potential of the others, however. Of Apple, Jeremiah said "That's easy. He ran really fast. That was a little bit of a concern with him, (but) he answered that question at the combine."

ESPN and NFL Network will broadcast live from the Woody Hayes Athletic Center throughout the day. BTN will air a 30-minute special at 4:30 p.m. ET with interviews and analysis. Eleven Warriors Worldwide LLC will have you covered throughout the day as well.

Be sure to follow Eric and the Lord of Whispers for timely updates.

 GET DUMPED THEN, SPARTY. Joey Bosa's, JaQuan Lyle's, and Marc Loving's reward for thwarting Penn State on Thursday night is a 6:30 p.m. Friday date with Michigan State on BTN.

Sparty has the upper hand this season:

PREVIOUS OSU-MSU MEETINGS
DATE MICHIGAN STATE OHIO STATE LOCATION
FEB. 23 81 62 COLUMBUS, OHIO
MARCH 5 91 76 EASTING LANSING, MICHIGAN

 JaQuan Lyle (rightfully) earned headlines against Penn State, but Marc Loving continued his blinder (24 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals, and 1 block). The problem is, Ohio State only won by four against a mediocre Penn State team.

The Basketbucks beat Kentucky the last time I wrote them off, but I scientifically rank their chances at 30%. That could be optimistic.

Regardless, Tim will be through with a full preview later this morning.

 I'M SOMEWHAT SURPRISED THIS WASN'T A POSITION ALREADY. Hey parents, tell your #teen shit just got real, rent is due, and you have the perfect job for them.

From bizjournals.com:

For the first time, Ohio State University’s athletics department will employ someone whose sole focus is on the digital side of football recruiting.

[...]

“It really reflects the changing dynamics in football recruiting and what’s happening nationally,” said Martin Jarmond, Ohio State’s executive associate athletics director for administration who will soon be Athletic Director Gene Smith’s chief deputy.

The athletics department is searching for a director of new and creative media. The person will oversee digital communications for the school’s football recruiting department, which includes a nine-person creative team.

This is the kind of foresight I like to see from the heir-apparent to Ohio State's athletic leviathan. (The haters are going to be seasick when they realize OSU will enjoy athletic stability and prosperity until at least 2040. It will be further proof there is no such thing as a backup in Ohio.)

I'd dominate this job if it didn't require Snapchat fluency.

I know my time is almost up on this planet because Snapchat is the first big social media app that makes want to melt my phone in my microwave. (You're damn right I own my microwave outright. Made my last payment in December.)

There are things worse than a #brand telling you to "add them on Snap," but they're all illegal under the Geneva Convention. It makes you realize the Geneva Convention ain't shit.

Not that only corporations suck at Snapchat. Everyone sucks at Snapchat. Ever see somebody spinning in a circle at a bar with their phone at a creeper angle? They're filming "a snap"—like I said, whoever created this app is already condemned to Hell—their friends will regret opening, much like the friendship in general.

"WOW, CAN'T BELIEVE WHACKY DAVE—THE GUY WHO THINKS DRUNK DRIVING IS COOL—IS AT A BAR DRINKING WITH STRANGERS WHILE LISTENING TO HORRENDOUS MUSIC! THIS WILL HELP ME SLEEP, THANKS DAVE!"

"WOW, IT'S HILARIOUS LINDA... BUT WITH DOG EARS???? MY MIND IS BLOWN. I SHOULD CALL MY EX-HUSBAND."

"WOW, IS THAT TAYLOR SWIFT? NO! IT'S ADORABLE LAUREN LIP-SYNCING! COULD'VE FOOLED ME!"

I am filled with contempt for these esoteric, undoubtedly better-looking younger people. Is this what old age is like?

Actually, don't answer that. I bombed this interview. Let's just get out of here before cops come and find the bombed-out, uninsured 1964 Ford Pinto that is my mental health. 

 THOSE WMDs. Penguin swims 5,000 miles every year for reunion with man who saved its life... Lawyer and D.A. investigator have bloody brawl in L.A. courthouse... The rise of 'Have I been pwned?', an invaluable resource in the hacking age... FBI penetrated a Russian spy ring with recorders in binders... Hulk Hogan taught me never to make a bad joke on Slack again.

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