You think you're excited for Buckeye football? Buddy, Labor Day's Skull Session's headline will be "Labor Day Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Virginia Tech" and the body will just be strings of indecipherable text produced from banging my big-ass forehead into the keyboard.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- The Rock vs. Golderberg, full match.
- Malice in the Palace!
- Sabini's club shut down by order of the Peaky Blinders.
NOAH BROWN READY. Noah Brown is a known name on that Eleven Warriors dot com page, but he's not a household name yet. Somehow, I have a feeling that's about to change.
From TheOzone.net:
"I’ve lost about 23 pounds," he said. "It was really hard. I had to make a conscious decision with me and Coach Mick toward the end of last season to really tighten up on what I’m eating and how I’m working out, and getting some extra cardio in and stuff like that. They’ve really done a good job of helping me. It’s definitely improved my gear."
Urban Meyer talked glowingly of Noah Brown before spring had even gotten under way this year, remarking about how great he looked physically. And once he got onto the field, the praise just kept coming. Brown left the spring as a starting wide receiver, which is exactly what he set out to become.
[...]
"Camp’s going really well," he said. "I’m trying to just pick up where I left off in the spring. I’m continuing to better myself every day, so I think I’m doing a pretty good job right now."
Noah Brown is a hoss — do non-Alabama vloggers still say hoss? Because Noah Brown is a hoss — and the dude's catch radius is ridiculous. He showed potential last season after Dontre Wilson was felled by injury, so he was already due for a positive projection. That gets taken to another level when I read he's tightened ship.
Go ahead and book Noah Brown as a breakout star.
TEDDY BALLGAME LIVED UP TO THE HYPE. I've only followed recruiting as long as I've worked here, but I do remember in 2004 — when I was a lowly poster on JJHuddle (it was a dark time in my life) — people were furious when Toledo's Fred Davis spurned the home state Buckeyes for shyster USC.
From Rivals.com's look at the top-ranked Ohioan prospects (recruitment position listed):
| RANK | NAME | YEAR | POSITION | NATIONAL RANK | SCHOOL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | THEODORE GINN JR | 2004 | CB | 2 | OHIO STATE |
| 2 | CHRIS "BEANIE" WELLS | 2006 | RB | 3 | OHIO STATE |
| 3 | MIKE ADAMS | 2008 | OL | 3 | OHIO STATE |
| 4 | JOSH MEYERS | 2017 | OL | 3 | OHIO STATE |
| 5 | PRESCOTT BURGESS | 2003 | S | 6 | MICHIGAN |
| 6 | LATWAN ANDERSON | 2010 | ATH | 15 | MIAMI (FL) |
| 7 | JORDAN HICKS | 2010 | LB | 16 | TEXAS |
| 8 | ROBERT ROSE | 2006 | DE | 17 | OHIO STATE |
| 9 | FRED DAVIS | 2004 | WR | 19 | USC |
| 10 | SPENCER WARE | 2010 | ATH | 19 | LSU |
Other than that, I remember Prescott Burgess, but I'd definitely take the five players Ohio State got over the five they didn't. (In Tressel and Meyer I trust. Amen.)
LIKE RAEKWON? THANK BRAXTON. Raekwon McMillan was a highly-recruited linebacker out of Georgia, but would you believe Braxton Miller played a decisive role in securing the Chef's services? It's true, according to the Chef.
From Scout.com:
“Braxton Miller is one of the reasons that I came here,” McMillan said. “Most of the guys on the team were like, ‘Man, I want to play with Braxton Miller one day.’ Seeing him across the field, it’s like, ‘Man, this guy is really out here right now.’ ”
[...]
“It wasn’t even my plan to wear No. 5. I came here wanting to wear 2 or something like that. I got to wear it eventually in the national championship game, but once I got here and wore 5, I was like, ‘OK.’”
[...]
“He’s a superstar player, man,” McMillan said. “As a recruit, you’re thinking, ‘I want to play with the best players in the nation.’ He’s one of the best guys. He was a Heisman candidate. It’s awesome to play against him.”
I guess the old adage is true in McMillan's case: The best want to play the best.
I'd pay money to watch McMillan and Braxton go at each other in the open field. I bet those two have had some battles in camp.
TAKE A BOW, IDIOTS. Every fan base has its share of detestable cretins, but I wanted to give a special #shoutout to some of the "true Buckeyes" whose neanderthal antics have resulted in the entire fan base being shamed in print.
From Dispatch.com:
When rabid Buckeyes fans learned that Gubar, an ESPN producer, was visiting Columbus in 2011 to dig into the football program in the wake of the scandal that cost coach Jim Tressel his job, they responded with threats, hatred and misogyny.
Many insulted her appearance. Someone posted her home phone number in California online, resulting in a flood of nasty voice mails. One fan warned her to stop doing her job or “Buckeye Nation will not show you mercy.”
Gubar recounts the experience in Fanaticus: Mischief and Madness in the Modern Sports Fan (Rowman & Littlefield, 232 pages, $35), an examination of what drives some fans to issue threats, overturn cars and commit assaults.
This is why I like our commentariat. We have our idiots (like all big sites), but we police our own.
If only someone could've done that in 2011 with those idiots. The sad part is they're probably out there right now wearing bootleg "UNDISPUTED" swagger.
EZEKIEL ELLIOTT SETS THE BAR. Tony Alford seems to have walked into a favorable position: The most talented student in his dojo is the hardest worker who sets the tone.
From Rivals.com:
"There's no entitlement here. When you ask our players, they'll tell you that there's no entitlement issues," Alford said. "You will get what you earn, whether that's carries or special teams. You will get what you earn, there's nothing given here and our guys know that."
That goes for Heisman favorite and a hero of the national title run, Zeke Elliott, just as much as it does for the next guy. Alford doesn't play favorites and he expects Elliott to put in the same dirty work that the fourth string walk-ons do. Elliott has lived up to that expectation and then some.
"If you can't block, you can't play. You have to be more of a complete player now within this offense now and if you're not going to do that, you're not going to play," said Alford. "The one thing that's really cool if you'll watch Zeke and he'll say 'Coach, I'll run down on scout team special teams.'
One thing I'm excited to see this year is Ezekiel Elliott receiving out of the backfield. Against Michigan State, Michigan, Wisconsin, Alabama, and Oregon, Elliott only posted three receptions. Obviously, having only one functional hand played into that, but now that he's healthy it's going to add another threat out of Ohio State's backfield.
Despite all the money they're getting paid, I don't envy opposing defensive coordinators this year. I feel bad about my mistakes. If I got lit up like they're about to... I'd reside in a Siberian cabin.
KEEP MIKE WEBER IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. As somebody who used to room with a "world-ending snorer," I know these feels. Stay strong, Mike:
Heart burn with a sore knee and Zekes world ending snoring again great night
— Mike Weber (@mikeweber25) August 21, 2015
THOSE WMDs. 1985 sounds wild... The High Stakes History of Card Counting... The Thief... How Darrelle Revis became the NFL's savviest negotiator... The original "Friday Night Lights" article.
