Tuesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on July 15, 2014 at 6:00 am
"THE CAMERA IS OVER HERE" ... OSU class of 1886, via The Ohio State Archives
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Not going to lie to ya, folks, I'm a bit fired up as I write this. There are reasons I pay the extra $10 (or whatever) for the floor model on things like "office" chairs and entertainment centers. (I hate directions, and the only tools I use proficiently are utensils, WiFi connections, shot glasses and car keys.)

So when my girlfriend brought home a bookshelf that boasted of "easy assembly," I already knew how it ended: with me sweaty, shirtless, cussing and using the bookshelf as kindling to start a dumpster fire.

The wooden peg — that damned wooden peg — fit into 5a, but not into its slot in the adjacent wooden slate, 5b. "Gently knock the wooden peg into place," the directions said. It ended with me banging a hammer like I was ol' John Henry

Thankfully my girlfriend has my interests closer to her heart than I do my own, because otherwise I would have built the biggest dumpster fire the western hemisphere has seen since Michigan's 2013 offense. I'd also be writing this from jail, with a tiny pencil on a sheet of toilet paper.

This is why I spent 98% of my adult life eschewing worthless stuff like "furniture." 

MILLER TO SMITH THE BEST COMBO IN THE B1G? So says BTN's Sean Merriman in a column ranking the best QB-WR combos in the BIg Ten:

It’s no secret that Miller is the top returning signal-caller in the Big Ten and an early Heisman Trophy favorite. With Corey “Philly” Brown moving on to the NFL, look for Smith to take over the No. 1 wideout spot in Columbus. The senior-to-be hauled in 44 catches for 660 yards and eighth touchdowns last season, all of which ranked second on the team behind Brown. The Buckeyes will be working in a new starting tailback this season, which means that Miller will rely on his returning pass-catchers early and often. Don’t be surprised if Smith tops the 70-catch, 1,000-yard mark in 2014. This duo has the chance to be very special.

I like Devin Smith, but I'm higher on Michael Thomas, Jeff Greene, and Corey Smith going into this year.

Granted, Ohio State is undefeated in games Smith catches a touchdown, but Devin hasn't proven much outside of his ability to run in a straight line really, really fast.

Maybe Smith makes the leap, but if Miller-to-Smith is the B1G's best QB-WR combo, then that's a bit of an indictment against not only Ohio State's offense, but the Big Ten.

THE BEST TROLL JOB I'VE EVER SEEN. I have no problem voicing an unpopular opinion, but this #hottake damn near melted my face.

From Joe Rexrod of Freep.com:

After two decades as a Big Ten official, one game stands out to retiring Bill LeMonnier as the most intense.

“With Michigan and Ohio State, it would be like that for the first few possessions and then settle in,” LeMonnier said Saturday at the league’s annual officiating clinic. “But Michigan and Michigan State, it was like that from start to finish. That one has always stood out to me.

[...]

“The rivalry of an Ohio State-Michigan game was great, but the Michigan-Michigan State game, that was 60 full minutes of intensity,” LeMonnier said. “I don’t mean that in any way negative. Just real intense – you got it from the players, the coaches, the fans, the whole package was there for that three and a half hours. Great place to hang out. This one to me, it’s, like maybe down south, Auburn-Alabama. That in-state rivalry is really something.”

Because I haven't used it in awhile, and it's one of two things I have permanently bookmarked, here's my reaction to this #take:

POWER READ GOT VT FANS SHOOK. Eleven Warriors' Ross Fulton and Kyle Jones are two of the best X's and O's guys in the college football realm, but it appears The Key Play's french60wasp is no slouch either.

Yesterday, he posted an excellent breakdown on Ohio State's power read. (For further reading, here's his breakdown on OSU's basic gap blocking rules.)

Here's a sampling of comments from the article [sic'd, obvii]:

considering DE and LB are a little bit of an unknown for us this year, its a scary prospect.

Scary, scary stuff for LB's indeed, especially if the offense is a well oiled machine with a confident running QB.

After watching the videos, one of the constants that troubled me was how the DE's were totally frustrated. Almost always, with the exception of the pass play, they were left standing there, watching the QB/RB action, only to be left behind doing nothing after the option was completed.

i think if our tackles can be disruptive inside against some of their newer linemen, it may allow our ends to be a little less aggressive and focus more on contain. we certainly have the speed but i can't shake how poor our angles and tackling fundamentals were against UCLA. gulp...

Really jacked for this Virginia Tech game. So much more appetizing than an awful California team. I also have a lot of respect for Virginia Tech fans.

DAVE BELL IS SWOLL AS HELL NOW. After LaQuinton Ross showed up as the fattest player at the 2014 NBA combine, perhaps Mickey Marotti is moonlighting with the basketball program?

A BIG TIME PROGRAM, PEOPLE. (Maybe a potential motto for the 2014 basketball campaign!?!?! It'd go nicely with the football team's, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO HARD, WHY NOT GO THE HARDEST?")

PLEASE STOP SCHEDULING GAMES SO FAR IN ADVANCE. There needs to be a law against scheduling football games more than five years in advance. What's the point? Conference alignment could start up again TOMORROW. The NCAA could collapse NEXT WEEK. 

We must stop this madness:

If I had any plans on being alive in 2025, I would wager a kidney on this game not being played. Hard to see this stuff as anything but a publicity stunt for programs looking to boost their tough guy image.

THOSE WMDs. Will Muschamp describes his 2013 rock bottom... Just before a shark breaks water tension... Meet the former Wall Street lawyer behind MediaTakeout...  Cavs coach David Blatt is The Man: ex1, ex2... BAH GAHD, is that Denny Mayo's music?... Celtics/T-Wolves reportedly interested in Evan Turner... All 170 World Cup goals, ranked... Reminder: phones are better than people... The worst #take on Nick Marshall's pot citation... Andrew Wiggins, y'all... 

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