For Ohio: Mickey Marotti Hits the Buckeye Football Team With a Glorious April Fools Joke to Lighten the Mood

By Kevin Harrish on April 1, 2020 at 4:05 pm
MICKEY MAROTTI.
21 Comments

We're living in uncertain times during the COVID-19 outbreak, but Ohio is gonna get through it together – and have some fun along the way.

April Fools Day feels heavier this year than usual, but that didn't stop Ryan Day and Mickey Marotti from lightening the mood a bit with a delightful April Fools joke where Marotti told the team he was leaving the team to follow his dream of becoming a rock star.

To be honest, a part of me is actually disappointed. I was already planning my Aug. 1 trip to that Put-in-Bay concert featuring Coach Mick on the drum kit. But I guess that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make if he gets to stay on staff.

In any case, he had a few former Buckeyes going for a bit.

The Latest

Let's Laugh

Today, we're doing less laughing together, and more laughing at a group of people who certainly deserve it.

Pro Tip: faking coronavirus symptoms will not keep you from getting arrested. In fact, it's almost certainly going to make your life worse, because nobody is going to play those games or put up with that.

Columbus City Attorney Zach Klein said anyone who attempts to fake coronavirus symptoms to avoid arrest should expect additional charges.

Klein, in a news release Wednesday, said his office has been made aware of “a few instances” where people have attempted to fake symptoms of the virus to avoid arrest.

He cited an incident that occurred Sunday on the West Side.

Klein said the suspect was spotted fleeing the scene of a car break-in. When police apprehended him, the suspect claimed to have trouble breathing. The suspect was also “flailing on the ground coughing.”

...

Klein said those who do have medical issues will be assisted, but faking symptoms to avoid a citation or an arrest could result in falsification charges, which would be a first-degree misdemeanor. They could also face an inducing panic charge, which could range from a first-degree misdemeanor up to a fourth-degree felony, depending on the circumstances.

“This inappropriate behavior threatens our first responders and wastes time, money and our scarce personal protective equipment,” Klein said. “When charges are filed in these cases, they will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.”

Let's collectively laugh at the individuals who thought this was a good idea and pray they're punished accordingly.

Humans Being Human

Hero Bonus

When we think of folks on the frontline of this pandemic, we typically envision healthcare workers and first responders. But truly, the supermarket employees and those working in food service are putting themselves at risk too.

Kroger recognized this, and is giving all of the employees working during this time a "Hero Bonus" of an additional $2 an hour.

"Our associates have displayed the true actions of a hero, working tirelessly on the frontlines to ensure everyone has access to affordable, fresh food and essentials during this national emergency," Rodney McMullen, Kroger's chairman and CEO, said in a press release.

"The Hero Bonus is just one more way we continue to convey our thanks and gratitude not only to our existing associates but also to the more than 30,000 new hires who have joined in the past two weeks and those who will soon join the Kroger Family of Companies."

Good on Kroger.

Next time you go out, make sure to give an extra "thank you" to all the essential workers. They're doing their part.

Take Me Home

Remember that one year Curtis Samuel essentially was Ohio State's offense? I honestly don't think we talk about that enough, and he might have been the most dynamic player in the Urban Meyer era.

So let's throw it back and give him some appreciation.

If that wasn't enough playmaking to satisfy you, here's a full 49 minutes of Samuel's greatness for your viewing enjoyment.

21 Comments
View 21 Comments