Tressels, Fickells and Urbans,

In high school, I had a buddy who would tell stories without any pause by stringing together a sequence of events with "AND THEN."  He would tell the stories excitedly without any natural pause.  It was the audio mix equivalent of a preschooler show-and-tell mashed with a Phish concert...a constant exhausting crescendo. The stories had ordinary moments that sounded extraordinary...and extraordinary moments that either bordered on BS or crossed the BS line completely.      

I'll use my experience of going down to the game last Saturday against Oregon State as an example:
My 9-year-old son and I went down to the game last Saturday.  First, we ran through a corn field to catch a bus that would take us down to the stadium AND THEN when we got on the bus it was 900° and we were really hot from running AND THEN we tried to open the windows but they wouldn't open AND THEN we noticed the bus driver was very old so that’s why the bus was so hot because old people get cold easily AND THEN when we got off the bus we went right to the front of Ohio Stadium to see the Ohio State football players do The Walk from St. John Arena to the stadium AND THEN we gave them all high-fives and yelled "Go Bucks" AND THEN my man BB Landers gave my nine-year-old son a piece of Laffy Taffy candy as he walked by us AND THEN we went over to see the end of Skull Session at St. John Arena where we sat in the very top row of the balcony AND THEN I started thinking about how my in-laws saw a Simon and Garfunkel concert from the balcony of St. John Arena in the late 1960s on one of their first dates and how they were afraid of heights since the balcony is straight down and very narrow AND THEN the band - the Ohio State band not Simon and Garfunkel - played all of our favorite songs including Carmen Ohio AND THEN we put our arms around each other and swayed side-to-side and sang AND THEN we went to some great tailgates with great donuts and great food and great people AND THEN we went into the game and got to our seats with enough time to make sure we saw the band enter for all the pregame festivities AND THEN we thought we might melt it was so hot during the first half AND THEN at half time we went to find Dippin' Dots but the line was way too long since it was 900 degrees AND THEN it started to pour rain AND THEN we decided to make a run for it back to the bus and got absolutely soaked AND THEN it was flooding and running back through the cornfield was an obstacle course with some of the puddles lake-sized and unavoidable AND THEN the streets in our neighborhood flooded and people had to teach themselves to be amphibious and now some of their youngest children are growing gills despite grandparent concern. 

Here's another example using what I observed during the game:
During the Oregon State game, Dwayne Haskins was hitting just about every pass and spreading the ball around to many receivers AND THEN Mike Weber was reeling off run after run and scored four touchdowns AND THEN on some plays we would just Nick Bosa because he is absolutely unstoppable AND THEN Dremont Jones had two sacks from the inside tackle position and he will be a beast this year AND THEN Ohio State was without Jordan Fuller and the safeties were a liability AND THEN it reminded me of the year that Christian Bryant was hurt early in the season and how devastating that was for the OSU secondary in 2013 and how they got torched against Clemson in the bowl game by Sammy Watkins AND THEN I realized Jordan Fuller, just like Christian Bryant, is a must-have on the field this season for Ohio State AND THEN the back up defensive linemen played and some of them struggled in the second half giving up very large gaps and letting the other team scored two long touchdown runs AND THEN the linebacker play has not improved enough from last season when they were a sieve AND THEN it made me realize how important it is to get Tuf Borland back and figure out how to get the outside linebackers to play with better positioning because they look lost on most plays AND THEN I thought about how good the Ohio State offensive line looked and how great Michael Jordan’s transition to center seems to be going and how he is a large presence in the middle AND THEN I realized if the young players can keep developing Ohio State could have an extremely dynamic offense between the passing ability of Dwayne and the 1-2 punch of JK Dobbins and Mike Weber AND THEN we saw the freshman running back‘s on the field because of the new eligibility rules that allow them to play four games without burning a red shirt AND THEN the OSU offense didn’t miss miss a beat with the true freshman running backs AND THEN I was thinking that the offense is absolutely loaded this year probably the deepest talent Ohio State has ever had on offense AND THEN Ohio State scored 77 points and the stadium scoreboards are now being updated to accommodate 100+ points. 

AND THEN we'll see if Ohio State can keep building to a never-ceasing crescendo this season in week 2 against Rutgers...

Touchdowns:  Dobbins, Dobbins, Dixon, Weber, Weber, Campbell, Austin Mack, Master Teague

OSU 59 Rutgers 3

Go Bucks!  Beat Rutgers!  BB Landers for Heisman!

Puffy Padre