I'm typically willing to give children's entertainment a pretty wide berth when it comes to outright suckitude. The whole point of being a kid is that you're trying to develop a sense of right and wrong and good and bad. At some point they'll go "Oh! This show is actually kind of annoying" and stop watching. So who the hell cares if kids spend a brief amount of time enjoying an educational (if extremely irritating) show about a goofy purple dinosaur?
A lot of people, apparently! The outsized anger that Barney created started out kind of funny, but as the obsessive hate latched on to nascent internet culture, it morphed to something kind of unsettling and then borderline concerning. My family got internet in the late 90's, and as a preteen one of the first websites I ever encountered was an amateurish game where you graphically kill Barney with various weaponry. At the time I thought it was funny for about a minute and a half, but in retrospect it's kind of messed up? Like, maybe it's okay to just... not be that weird about it.
Anyway, to be clear, I'm not trying to invalidate semi-tongue-in-cheek Michigan hate. That's kind of my whole thing here, and is the basis for like 75% of Ohio State fandom writ large. But it is also probably important to have some sense of proportionality about the whole endeavor, and in this case that includes saying that Michigan's lackluster 31-10 win over Indiana doesn't mean they're Actually Bad or anything, and might even mean they're still Pretty Good.
THE OFFENSE
Here's what I mean: in the first half against the Hoosiers, the Michigan offense was pretty bad. After busting out of the gate with an opening touchdown drive that included a 50 yard Blake Corum run to the endzone, the Wolverines went punt, field goal, punt, missed field goal, and then a turnover on downs to end the half with 10 points. At this point, being tied at halftime on the road in a conference game, you'd be forgiven for licking your chops and praying for an upset.
But you'd be disappointed, because Michigan's playcalling (which was conservative even by their standards in the first half) got much, much better. In particular, the offensive braintrust opened the game up for J.J. McCarthy to make some "screw it" hucks downfield that mostly worked out (he finished with 304 yards passing and three touchdowns against one interception). Wideout Ronnie Bell finally had the kind of game Michigan fans have been waiting for, hauling in 11 catches for 121 yards.
It wasn't a great offensive performance, but it showed that Michigan could make halftime adjustments that actually work, mostly.
THE DEFENSE
Yeah, that's the other thing. Once the Wolverines went up 17-10 I knew that the game was functionally over. The defensive line, which I've repeatedly cast doubt on this season, bullied Indiana's offensive line like a big kid in third grade pushing people out of the way and grabbing all the Fudge Rounds before anyone else can get one. They sacked Indiana QB Connor Bazelak seven times, and maybe what's most impressive about that is that it wasn't any one player dominating. It was truly a team effort on their part.
The Hoosiers had 44 net yards in the second half, and of course I include the word "net" to point out, again, that their quarterback got sacked seven freaking times. Even if you take those out of the equation, Indiana only managed 80 yards on the ground. And maybe you're thinking "okay yeah, but it's Indiana" and while that may be true, Michigan beat them up so badly that they promptly fired their offensive line coach after the game.
WHAT DID WE LEARN?
Remember how I said it's important to keep perspective? Running backs coach Mike Hart's collapse on the Michigan sidelines was a prime example of how Real Life isn't Football, and the concern that everyone in Memorial Stadium rightly had for Michigan's running backs coach is a stark reminder of the human face of this sport. Hart, who got an incredible amount of shit from Ohio State fans during his career (including from yours truly), is also a dad and absolutely loved by his players. There's a point that reminds us that there's a time to turn off our fandom and show concern for a fellow human being, and that was it.
Hart, who as of last update is in stable condition at an Ann Arbor hospital, will be in our thoughts and prayers. Hoping for a quick recovery for him, and all the best to his family.
