Skull Session: Ryan Shazier Showcases Big Ten Speed, Darron Lee Makes His Move, and Ohio State Wants More People to Follow Urban Meyer's Lead

By D.J. Byrnes on June 9, 2016 at 4:59 am
Tracy Sprinkle brought the jokes for the June 9th 2016 Skull Session
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As of this writing, the Cleveland Cavaliers lead the Golden State Warriors by 20 points entering the fourth quarter of Game 3 of the NBA Finals. I expect to wake up to a flood of comments from Cleveland fans thanking me for my reverse jinx mojo.

... Man, I wish I were devious enough to pull something like that. Granted, there's always a chance Cleveland could Cleveland this game away, but I'm tired and want to go to bed thinking the Cavs shoved my prediction down my throat.

Beating the Warriors in a must-win game is different than beating them three out of the next four, but I do know the Sleeve will be on fire come Friday night. (Being a bandwagon fan is amazing; I see why so many people roll this way.)

 BIG TEN SPEED. Folks, I'm old enough to remember a simpler time when such myths as "SEC Speed" were branded about this great country of ours. Yes, I know, it seems ridiculous—people don't magically become faster by signing for a Southeastern Conference school.

But I promise this was a real thing with real people, though. However, it died a violent death on January 1st, 2015 when Ezekiel Elliott took an 85-yard stroll through the heart of the South.

Former Ohio State star Ryan Shazier put the tombstone on its grave Wednesday during the Pittsburgh Steelers' organized team activities.

From espn.com:

Linebacker Vince Williams posted on twitter that Shazier was getting ready to race the Steelers' top receivers -- Antonio Brown, Markus Wheaton and Sammie Coates -- in a 40-yard dash.

"We got a race out here today," Williams said.

Brown's SnapChat showed a video clip of the race, which appeared to show Shazier winning. Williams later tweeted, "@RyanShazier the fastest player on the team."

Here's photographic evidence:

The Ohio State fan in me is like, "That's awesome!" while the Browns fan in me is cowering in a bathtub until the gunfire stops.

 LEE MAKES HIS MOVE. Darron Lee encountered haters throughout his transition from high school to Ohio State star, so it makes sense people are doubting him at the next level, too.

But Lee has only played the position for three years, and he's already making his move on the New York Jets' depth chart:

Yes, yes he is.

Hmm. I feel like I've heard that before.

Lee, by the way, wasn't the only Buckeye making waves at Jets organized team activities:

It's only one Vine, but the people who killed Marshall for going undrafted might want to start working on the rough draft of their apology letters, just in case.

Back to Lee, from nypost.com:

Q: Why the Giants?
A: When I was about 5 years old, my mom would always have Sunday football on. And I don’t know why, for a span of a couple of weeks, just saw the Giants play. I loved the colors at the time. And I knew about Lawrence Taylor because my grandpa had always talked about him. And so I always like used to watch highlights of him, and I just fell in love with him at that point on.

[...]

Q: You’ve met [LeBron James] at Ohio State games?
A: I’ll never forget, before a national championship, and he’s like, “Hey, go get it today 4-3.” That was a big moment for me. I’ll never forget it.

[...]

Q: How good of a trash talker are you?
A: I don’t do trash talking. And if I am doing trash talking, it won’t be until the end. I’ll let them talk first, because I always have the last laugh, so I don’t usually initiate any trash talking whatsoever.

Lee is a New York Giants and Boston Red Sox fan, which is a combo that might get him killed in NYC.

As for him not talking trash, Lane Kiffin disagrees!

 WHAT WOULD URBAN DO? Urban Meyer assisted in the poaching of a surgeon from Johns Hopkins, and Ohio State would like people to be more like Urban Meyer so it can continue to lure top shamans to Columbus.

From bizjournals.com:

Ohio State University hopes others will follow in the footsteps of football coachUrban Meyer in establishing endowments to fund faculty positions.

Meyer and his wife last week established the Urban Meyer III and Shelley Meyer Chair for Cancer Research, which helped Ohio State lure a highly regarded cancer specialist from the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. The Meyers contributed $120,000 to the $2 million endowment and helped raise the rest of the money. Dr. Timothy Pawlik will lead the medical center’s surgical and surgical oncology programs and earn a salary of $825,000.

[...]

The minimum donation for a named endowment is $1 million for a professorship, $2 million for a chair and $3.5 million for a dean’s chair. As of April 8, the university had 265 endowed positions, with one named dean’s chair in the College of Engineering, 167 endowed chairs and 97 professorships.

My offer to Ohio State goes like this: Give me a $5,860,000 salary like Urban Meyer, and I'll put $5 million of that into an endowment. (Good news, Urban! Your new title is the Warren G. Harding Greatest President Ever Football Coach at The Ohio State University.)

 THAT'S A LOT OF MEAT. Criminals, could y'all do me one favor? If you're going to shoplift three pounds of meat and three racks of ribs, please don't it while wearing bootleg Ohio State regalia.


This #take may be controversial, but I feel like it shouldn't be a crime if you can put that much meat in normal-sized pants. I expected him to pull an elephant out of there at the end.

 MAN ACCUSES BEANIE OF BEING CARTEL-CONNECTED. Two men stand accused of attempting to extort Beanie Wells and his family, as well as making threats against the former Ohio State star's life.

One of those men began trial this week, and he says he was just trying to recoup proceeds lost from a drug deal set up by... wait for it... Beanie Wells!

From cleveland.com:

Defense attorney Donald Butler said Tuesday afternoon that Beanie Wells and his brother, Joey Wells, stole his client Franklin Conley's money. They did so after telling Conley and co-defendant Patrick Griffin that they would help set up a drug deal.

[...]

Conley, 28, of Akron, is on trial on accusations that he threatened Beanie Wells and his family with harm if he didn't pay between $65,000 and $175,000. Prosecutors said they went after Beanie Wells after his brother set up a drug deal where Conley and Griffin lost money.

[...]

But Butler said the four people involved in this case have a "very strong connection with each other." He said it was Beanie Wells, not his brother, who gave Conley and Griffin a phone number to someone connected to a Mexican drug cartel.

Bold defense, Butler! We'll see how it plays out in court.

 THOSE WMDs. Russian couple lives in harmony with adopted bear... Derren Brown's Forer Experiment text.... It's a strange world... When a private tragedy becomes a public spectacle... The two Swedes who apprehended rapist Brock Turner, in their own words.

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