Thursday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on July 2, 2015 at 4:59 am
Malik Hooker
169 Comments

The big news yesterday was Jim Harbaugh bombing a Colin Cowherd interview. It was a deliciously awkward video that sent certain Harbaugh defenders scrambling.

Correction: We're definitely the best Michigan blog on the internet these days:

lol

Whew! MGoBlog's traffic is as stagnated as Michigan's win column. (They hit 600,000 unique views during the height of Harbaugh mania. We call 600,000 uniques "June.")

Still, I guess I shouldn't be too hard on ol' Brian Cook, a sad little rage case who once sucker-punched a #teen over a pick-up soccer game and man who considers hockey jerseys to be formal attire.

After all, he makes money off a site that looks like it belongs on Geocities. That's kind of impressive, but he needs to recognize his place on the Michigan blog pecking order. Most Michigan fans would kill their firstborn for a second place finish these days, so he shouldn't feel too bad about it.

Now back to your scheduled Michigan content.

A GOATEE, EH? Urban Meyer appeared at a youth camp outside of his hometown of Ashtabula yesterday. He talked QB health, but more importantly, he mentioned he's pondering a goatee. 

From P.J. Ziegler of Fox8.com:

This is the fourth year Urban Meyer’s held this football camp here at the Spire Institute near his hometown, now that he is more than five months removed from a national championship he says there has been a different vibe around the state.

[...]

Meyer did not want to get into specifics about the upcoming season the Buckeyes are facing like who will start at quarterback or how he feels about being the hunted instead of the hunter now that Ohio State is the defending national champions.

“My thought right now is that I’m on vacation for 2 weeks so I’m deciding to grow a goatee or just let it go,” said Meyer.

Why stop with a goatee? Urban should grow a handlebar mustache; that way he can stroke it like Wario when Ohio State is up 24 in the fourth quarter against Michigan.

SPENCE ALMOST KILED AN EKU TACKLE. Former Ohio State DE Noah Spence is talented enough to be in the NFL right now, but instead, he's preparing for the upcoming season at Eastern Kentucky.

Dan Hood, EKU's coach and friend of Urban Meyer, talked about Spence yesterday at that aforementioned youth camp outside Ashtabula. 

From Ari Wasserman of Cleveland.com:

"There's nobody like Noah Spence on our team. As a matter of fact, we have an offensive tackle who's back that's first-team all-conference, and I had to put him on suicide watch in spring ball going against Noah every day in spring practice. We don't have anybody like him that's on our team or that we're going to play." 

[...]

"Our drug counseling people contacted the people down at Ohio State. It's the same program," Hood said. "He hasn't missed a counseling session, he has passed every drug test, he has all A's and B's for the semester. He's going to take 12 hours this summer and he's going to graduate in the fall." 

Spence, of course, was pinched for disorderly conduct last month, but Hood seems unfazed by it:

"I hate to tell kids zero tolerance, 'You do something wrong, you're out of here.' So I don't do that," Hood said. "I said, 'Hey, you have a blank slate. You've done something, but that's the past. That's forgiven. Let's start out from square one. But because of these things that have happened, every time we have a drug test, you're obviously going to be in it.'

Fair play to Mr. Hood on that, and good luck to Mr. Spence with the upcoming season.

LET THIS BE A LESSON. I tried to warn people that Cardale Jones, the Iron King, First of His Name, Poacher of Badgers, Controller of Tides, Slayer of Ducks, Troll Sultan, and 12th Son of Ohio was not a man to be trifled with. Alabama might have saved themselves an ass-kicking had they read my work.

From Charlie Potter of 247Sports.com:

“I’ve coached about 15 years – it was the most different situation we’ve ever had because of the quarterback situation,” Smart said. “So you’ve got one quarterback on tape (Braxton Miller), then you’ve got another quarterback on tape (J.T. Barrett), then you’ve got one game on the quarterback (Cardale Jones). And looking back, we have exit interviews with our players, and when you look in hindsight, I asked every kid, Landon Collins, Nick Perry, Jarrick Williams, the really smart seniors on our team, I said ‘Where did we go wrong? What did we do wrong?’

“All three of them said they did not respect the quarterback, and our job as the coaches was to make them respect the quarterback. Well they heard from the media, they heard from ESPN, they heard from everybody that he was a third-string quarterback. How can a third-string quarterback beat Alabama? We didn’t promote him enough and they didn’t value his talents enough, and he came in – we thought he was a really good passer, well he ran the ball well, too. We had not seen him run the ball – and not a runner like Blake (Sims) and not a runner like their other guy, just big.

“This guy was just lumbering and big and ran through arm tackles, even on our big, physical defense.”

R.I.P. Alabama football. It was killed by Cardale Jones.

EX-NFL SCOUT: CARDALE JONES, THE GUY. Clearly. 

THOSE WMDs. That time the NYT introduced the exotic avocado to its readers.... The ultimate literary guide to America... We do what we want in America... A tactical, throwable camera that captures panoramic images... A Horror Game Hidden in the Web's Darkest Corners.

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