Desmond Howard Thinks Michigan is America's Sixth-Best Team

August 21, 2014 at 12:49p    by DJ Byrnes    
Desmond Howard
[Flickr]
108 Comments

The last time we saw Michigan, they were getting their asses kicked by Kansas State in the final rendition of something called the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl. (It was Kansas State's first bowl win in 11 years.)

But, hey! There's a lot of things to like about Michigan this year, right? Devin Gardner is back, their offensive line (as well as their offense) can't be worse, they hired a man replaced by Lane Kiffin, and.... that's about it.

Ohioan Desmond Howard, however, is higher on his alma mater than most. In a preseason poll, Howard says Michigan is currently America's sixth best team:

good job good effort desmond

In Desmond's world, Michigan State checks in at No. 10 and (pre-Braxton injury) Ohio State at No. 11.

Preseason polls are a special kind of worthless, but Desmond Howard's work standing out in heaping pile of preseason shit-polls is remarkable.

There would be no bigger indictment against American collegiate football than Michigan being the sixth best team in the country.

Source: @JBrandon11W

108 Comments

Comments

mr.green's picture

Shut up, Desmond. Just shut UP! 

+1 HS
d1145fresh's picture

If Michigan ever reaches #6 in the country this year I will eat Birm's shoe.

+16 HS
hail2victors9's picture

Salt and pepper?

# 6 in the B1G east should be feasible. 

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!

~Bo Schembechler

+3 HS
Rob Reese's picture

+1 for anything with Tony Soprano/James Gandolfini.  RIP.

"All I have known at Michigan is failure.  That's all I know." - Taylor Lewan

sharks's picture

I know he's from Cleveland, but that dude is a dumbass

The postgame show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it...

+9 HS
TheAFBuckeye's picture

Go home Desmond...

Let's Go BUCKEYES!!!!!

+5 HS
MordenoftheSith's picture

Cleveland doesn't want him, don't send him home!  Send him back up to AA!

If you only knew the POWER of the Dark Side.

+1 HS
GoBucksOSU's picture

Thanks  Desmond for reaffirming us that nobody should take you seriously.

+9 HS
builderofcoalitions's picture

Desmond lost his status as an Ohian the day he signed with Michigan. He lost the chance to earn it back with "the pose." The man is dead to me.

Because we couldn't go for three.

+19 HS
HomeBrewed's picture

When drinking the Kool-Aid goes wrong...

Clever Statement

+4 HS
d5k's picture

Don't say anything in too bad of taste about him or Herby might get you fired...

+11 HS
builderofcoalitions's picture

+1 forever.

Because we couldn't go for three.

+12 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

I went to high school with him, Corey Lynch. Down in Fort Myers, Florida at ECS. Dude was a fucking stud when I knew him, I almost cried when he blocked that FG

UFM_Renewal

+4 HS
alust2013's picture

Always appropriate.

...and Michigan still sucks.

OH1O State's picture

And Stanford is 3rd!?

credibility = zero

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

+3 HS
GoBucksToledo's picture

He must be assuming they play Stanford football every game.

+11 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

But wheres that SEC speed??

UFM_Renewal

+1 HS
PittBuckeye's picture

The mythical beast that is Stanford football is one of the few hopes humanity has against SEC speed.

+1 HS
chemicalwaste's picture

Putting Stanford and michigan that high just shows that he's a douche who would put being a douche above anything else. Obviously his credibility is zero, and apparently he knows that since he took his preseason ballot and said,"Nobody thinks I'm worth a pinch of shit, so I'll be an asshole and just try to piss everyone off by ranking rivals too low and the team's they beat last year too high."

+2 HS
Jugdish's picture

This reminded me of how some people cannot see too far. Their answer in right in front of them.

Remember to get your wolverine spade or neutered. TBDBITL

+15 HS
MauricXe's picture

hahaha i love his 'ballot'.

not only does he snub the buckeyes, but he snubs the spartans. i love college football loyalties. 

+4 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

Hes going to town on that air dick. Is this the same concept as air guitar? Cuz I rock that shit

UFM_Renewal

+12 HS
johnblairgobucks's picture

Lol @ air dick

Must be a Michigan Man thing.....

+13 HS
BuckeyesMJ's picture

You seen the chicks in Ann Arbor? I'd be "air dick'n" it all day too! 24/7

+4 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

The guy over her right shoulder looks like hes debating whether he needs to go to the bathroom...questionable fart I'd say. 

Ya, you can see him think about it. Then a slight eye twitch is the give away that he released something turrible

UFM_Renewal

+1 HS
HighBallAce's picture

Just goes to show how confused Denard Robinson really was......lol

ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

What's that thing he does when he's done with the air dick?  Did he pick an air ass and then eat it?

Class of 2010.

+3 HS
Homey1970's picture

No.  He's showing where Csont'e York just cold-cocked him in the mouth.

+2 HS
hit_the_couch's picture

CTE setting in? I think the effects of the concussions (if he had them) are starting to set in.

And then I told her...i'm no weatherman, but tonight's forecast is calling for several inches!

+1 HS
bigDbuck's picture

The level of incompetence shown by 98 is beyond words.

+9 HS
IGotAWoody's picture

God I love watching that! #98 turns 2 pts into 7 pts in the blink of an eye!!

 - License to kill gophers (wolverines, badgers, etc) by the government of the United Nations

+2 HS
southbay's picture

I've never seen a more boneheaded play, nor any other pass thrown under such duress, ever.

+1 HS
CSAR Buckeye's picture

Same here.  And I've watched Brandon Weeden play...

+2 HS
Habu71's picture

They may not be the 6th best team in the B1G.

+24 HS
dwcbuckeye's picture

I think you meant "East" division of the B10, right?

+15 HS
Habu71's picture

That, or possibly just the state of *ichigan.

+7 HS
buckeyedude's picture

True dat. I heard Wayne State and Eastern are supposed to be much improved this year.

 

 

+2 HS
Yenots11's picture

Even the other staffers have to be like:

Go Bucks!! 

"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam!"

+15 HS
BuckeyeSouth's picture

He might be on too something considering the top-notch coach they have running the show as demonstrated by this quote from his presser after yesterday's (Wednesday) camp.

 Tomorrow is Tuesday, the next day is Wednesday and Saturday is a Thursday how we look at it and next week we'll take Sunday and do some walk-throughs, get the tape reviewed. Next Tuesday will be a Tuesday, Wednesday will be a Wednesday, and Thursday will be Thursday so you've got to figure it out on my end sometimes.

Embrace it.

+7 HS
bigDbuck's picture

"Day by day by day...we pray"

+2 HS
bigbadbuck's picture

Monday and Fridays lawyer will be in touch for the discrimination lawsuit  that will be following for not be mentioned in that last quote.

mh277907's picture

I remember when Michigan was relevant.
 

buckeyebobcat

+5 HS
mh277907's picture

I am also a liar.

buckeyebobcat

+19 HS
BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

Or you are really, really old

+2 HS
kevdale86's picture

Hey, Whippersnapper! I resemble that remark.

+2 HS
The Rill Dill's picture

How in the hell does one 'resemble' a remark?

-5 HS
kevdale86's picture

It's just an old saying. If you actually take offense, then you "resent" the remark. If you take it in jest, you might "resemble" the remark. It's a way to lessen the sting from an insult if you "agree" with it. It goes back to the 3 Stooges and Groucho Marx.

+5 HS
rihmds80's picture

"Gentleman, this brings me to my next point. Don't....smoke....crack!"

http://youtu.be/nfHOQAT0-Mk

+4 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

and,

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

+6 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

as delusional as Howard is, at least he believes and backs his team no matter how bad they really are. He's nuts, but I can't blame him for it.

I did hear Herbie say on Van Pelt and Rusillo that he thought OSU was going to win it all before the injury. So I can't bash him because he did admit he was gungho on them. but he still should have said they are playoff contenders after that. He really let go of a great opportunity to show everyone that this is a team that is a contender, not just one player. Losing Brax hurts, but the team is still good.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

+1 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

Ya, but picking OSU is at least a legit chance

Meatchicken hasn't done shit for years, I get standing by your team, but at some point you have to be objective...especially as an "analyst" 

I guess if Ichigan can play Stanford football with that SEC speed, they have a shot at 6

UFM_Renewal

+4 HS
BuckeyeOfTheTiger's picture

Stanford Football(TM) AND SEC Speed(TM)??

...does not compute...

+1 HS
southbay's picture

It's one thing to do that over a beer at the local watering hole, quite another to do it on TV.  Embarrassing.

+1 HS
73buckeye's picture

Typical for ESPN, though. Paying people to display their stupidity publicly is their business model. Desmond fits right in to their mold. 

ernie

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

This is the same guy that said Michigan would beat Alabama in 2012.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+10 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

This is the same guy that said Michigan would beat Alabama in 2012.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+2 HS
IGotAWoody's picture
This works on several levels

 - License to kill gophers (wolverines, badgers, etc) by the government of the United Nations

+2 HS
Crumb's picture

M really does mean Moron

"The only good thing about it is winning the d*** thing" - Urban Meyer on The Game The War

+2 HS
brutal_brutus's picture

May be that's why they kick him out when gameday picks the games at the end. I wish they kick out that shit altogether.

+1 HS
The Rill Dill's picture

I'd really like to see him and his blow-boy Herbstreit, in the unemployment line.

DRAKE008's picture

That Michigan education appears to be doing wonders for him

+6 HS
joshhersh's picture

Not sure I've ever seen a bigger example of a HOMER than this, he's lost all credibility with the asinine deal. Idiot

+4 HS
clogan1032's picture

It's called Lou Holtz who has picked ND to play for the championship for the last 8 years. At least he got it right one year. But Desmond is creeping in on Lou territory with that ballot. 

Kid Buckeye's picture

Just an example of why the selection committee scares me but at least this dumbazz isn't on the selection committee

+2 HS
BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

6th best team in the B1G East, maybe...

+2 HS
O-H-I-Owe-U's picture

I needed a good laugh. 

+1 HS
PittBuckeye's picture
Mr. Jordan, your thoughts?
+12 HS
BuckeyeMitch's picture

Desmond Howard stinks as a college football analyst, he is even worse as a color guy during live games. He is way over his head on ESPN Gameday, I don't know why ESPN doesn't push David Pollack into his seat.

+2 HS
Dweinz's picture

To be honest, Pollack isn't much better. He might be my least favorite "expert" on espn

DibbleDabble's picture

"Vision without execution is just hallucination."

+7 HS
Faded Trey's picture

Stupid is as Desmond does.

+2 HS
ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

There's homerism and then there's homerism.  Wow.  I can sit here right now and admit to the world that a Braxton-less OSU is not the 5th or 6th best team in the nation (depending which major poll you ask), and even if Braxton was healthy, being ranked that high was questionable until OSU were to prove it on the field.  TTUN #6?  ROFL, I don't think so.  They've got a LOT to prove before they deserve to even be ranked in the top 25 at all.

Class of 2010.

+2 HS
Meatchicken's picture

It's a preseason poll, which are notoriously inaccurate.  You can't prove anything on the field before a preseason poll, and you can't put too much stock in the previous years performance.  Some notes from last season's rankings (AP):

  • Four teams unranked in the preseason finished in the top 10:  Auburn(2), Sparty(3), Missouri(5), UCF(10).  Auburn was 3-9 in 2012, Sparty 7-6.
  • Two teams started in the top 10 and finished unranked:  Georgia(5), Florida(10).
  • Four teams started in the top 10 and finished in the top 10:  Alabama, South Carolina, Oregon, Clemson.

I'm not denying Desmond's homerism, but I at least respect someone bucking the trend a bit.  And maybe he's not so delusional.... 

Michigan arguably has the best defense in the B1G this year, a senior QB with talent who is actually getting coached up now, and some very solid skill players.  Obvious question mark is the OL, but there is talent there and a new scheme implemented with Nuss (I believe last year's problems were scheme/playcalling related and not developmental).  I think its possible that Michigan's year could be similar to Sparty's last year - solid defense, and an offense that's good enough at the start and improves markedly throughout.

Mikefletcher24's picture

Fuck off Desmond....and that's not the pose asshole  

+2 HS
buckskin's picture

I need a gif of Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers getting ready to feel Kitty Kats new cans. "Are you out of your f***ing mind?"

+1 HS
Wilkins78's picture

Challenge accepted.

nuke's picture

Does anyone really give a damn what this clown thinks on any subject?

Rob Reese's picture

Desmond is still living in the 90's.  Welcome to the 21st century.

"All I have known at Michigan is failure.  That's all I know." - Taylor Lewan

+1 HS
hail2victors9's picture

I'm outraged!  He should have had them #1, dammit!

Those who stay will be CHAMPIONS!

~Bo Schembechler

+1 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Back from the grave, Hail?

And some people just don't get good sarcasm. It doesn't always need a font.

...

sawesome's picture

Could be mistaken...but I think he's just putting UM where he would've ranked OSU. 

Hockey Buck's picture

You are welcome Lou Holtz. You are no officially off the hook.

jamesrbrown322's picture

They must not drug screen at ESPN.

"I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying." - W.W. Hayes

blu.fan's picture

I don't even know what to say. I mean, I believe in miracles, and that would qualify, but really? All I can think of is Desmond trolling OSU and SEC fans and being a homer. If Michigan ends up 6 in the country, every last doggone thing went right (OL came together, Gardner stayed healthy and played within himself, defense completely gelled and was dominant, key injuries to some of our strongest opponents.) Hope springs eternal, and I am an optimist, but this is beyond me to predict. Or even hope for.

Having said that, I don't think Hoke is nearly as fat and stupid as many OSU fans think, and Michigan is on the rise. It has taken years to rebuild after the disaster and travesty that was RR. Michigan has been doing a good job of recruiting, and right now is on track to have the highest average star rating of anybody in the Big 10, albeit with only 14 - 15 total in the class. I am really looking forward to 2015 and beyond. Just not this year, not yet.

+2 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

No, you are incorrect. Meatchicken sucks..plain and simple.

But next year right? If not then the year after?

UFM_Renewal

Idaho Helga's picture

I don't think Hoke is stupid, but honestly with that program, you guys deserve better.  I think he is very average at best. This year will be really telling.  I am baffled that when asked something about tenacity or toughness, I forget the exact question, he clearly stated he didn't know what to do to fix the problem.  Hey Brady, you're the damn coach.  Figure it out.

It seems to me that Desmond is pulling a Mark May here; he's trolling.

+1 HS
TURD_BUCKET's picture

He's in Never-never land

“Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top.”

Dillon G's picture

He makes Beth Mowins sound intelligent.

buckskin's picture

Michigan football better watch it; another 20 years of crap football and they'll be the collegiate Cleveland Browns. There's always next year.

dubjayfootball90's picture

Desmond, You crazy, son. That is some messed up shiznit.

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.