The Bielema Contradiction

By Johnny Ginter on February 21, 2014 at 2:30p
Signifying nothing

Ted Agu was a former walkon and defensive end for the Cal Golden Bears, and by all accounts was a great teammate who was well-liked by his teammates. He was going to be a fifth year senior this upcoming season, and was coming off a year where he had earned a scholarship and played in seven games.

On February 7th, Agu was taking part in an offseason conditioning practice when he began having difficulty completing a workout. He was taken to the medical center, where he collapsed and died after medics attempted to revive him with CPR. Agu's death is a tragedy; not only was he a hardworking young man who never missed a practice, he was a diligent student who wanted to go to medical school some day.

His death is sad for those reasons alone, and Bret Bielema just made it worse.

Bielema's pet project this offseason has been to encourage the NCAA to pass a rule stating that the offense cannot snap the ball until at least ten seconds has passed on the playclock. Bielema claims that this is being done in the interest of player safety. Pretty much everyone else claims that this is being done in the interest of Bret Bielema not having to worry about hurry-up offenses run over his ass on a weekly basis (people are saying the same thing about Nick Saban too, but since he's actually successful he's got a lot more defenders).

Rest in peace while devils argue over why

When asked for proof, Bielema cited Agu. This is despite Agu never having any related issues in his previous four years at Cal, and a coroner's report that won't be available for weeks.

The initial problem with what Bielema said (aside from callously using a recent death as a ploy to campaign with) is that he's about as far away from a medical anything as you can possibly get. A literal pig farmer shouldn't be hijacking a man's tragic death just to tout a rule change in football, even if he claims that it's related to a sickle cell trait that appears to be a common link between several football related deaths. The sickle cell trait may in fact be a contributor to the health problems that many players experience, but Bielema also says that

"If one of those players is on the field for me, and I have no timeouts, I have no way to stop the game," Bielema said. "And he raises his hand to stop the game, and I can't do it. What am I supposed to do?

"What are we supposed to do when we have a player who tells us he's injured?"

Well gosh Bret, maybe he could do what players have been doing since the dawn of time and, I don't know, take a knee or lay down or something? And guess what, if you don't like that the onus is on the struggling player to alert an official, maybe you and your medical staff should be a little more observant and alert an official to that kind of situation yourselves. I promise they aren't going to ignore you, despite trying as hard as they can for the majority of the time that you're bloviating obnoxiously.

What really pisses me off about Bielema's comments and overall stance on this issue is that he's also completely ignoring the fact that his patented brand of man ball is potentially as ruinous to a player's health as any hurry up offense ever could be.

Case in point: from 2011 through 2012, while Bret was still the head coach at Wisconsin, running back Montee Ball had more carries than any other person in college football. Behind what were often eight and nine man fronts, Ball rushed 664 times into stacked defenses. In a time period when we're starting to learn the cumulative effect of repeated blows to the body and head on football players, Bielema chose to ignore those dangers and deliberately put his players in a position to sustain more physical trauma than any other team in the country.

This is why people are calling Bielema a jerk for using Agu's death as "evidence" that his rule is necessary; he's acting as if a ten second slowdown is some kind of panacea for what's killing people, while looking the other way as his star running back and offensive linemen repeatedly sacrificed their bodies in his meat grinder of an offense.

I can't read Bret Bielema's mind; maybe somehow he really does believe that the ten second wait period rule will help player safety and that his brand of football is somehow less dangerous than what a guy like Gus Malzahn or Urban Meyer likes to run.

But even if he's genuine in his completely insensitive advocacy for his asinine rule proposal, even if he really does see himself as some kind of champion of player safety, maybe he should take a long look around his glass house first and notice the six hundred and sixty-three stones he threw from 2011 to 2012. Or maybe just call Montee Ball in 15 years to ask about the results of his latest brain scan. In any case, I hope that Bielema realizes that he can take immediate action to protect his players from injury and health risks. Of course, it would take him changing the way his teams play offense. And maybe he's just not willing to do that.

Player safety matters, now more than ever. And if a ten second delay would help that, then I'm all for it. But if football is going to take these things seriously, they need to be discussed seriously, with evidence and careful analysis. Allowing a fetid turd like Bielema to dominate the discussion with offhanded, insensitive remarks is at best counterproductive, and at worst exploitative of a tragedy that we don't have all the answers for yet.

We need to understand why Ted Agu died, so that we can make the game safer for the people that play it. We also need Bret Bielema to shut the hell up.


Comments Show All Comments

rdubs's picture

Some data that indicates that playing faster may reduce injuries:

It doesn't prove causality, but Bert might need to find more evidence.  All his current evidence proves is that he is an insensitive idiot.

+5 HS
Whoa Nellie's picture

Just as important, has anyone been able to cite a single episode of a player, with sickle cell or otherwise, who suffered injury because he could not get off the field?  If not, Bert's argument is nothing but speculation.  If Bert is concerned about defensive players with a medical condition that might affect them on the field, the solution is simple: platoon them on a regular basis.  Need to rest a guy?  Take him out. 

This rule proposal seems like an answer in search of a problem.

“Don’t fear criticism. The stands are full of critics. They play no ball. They fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down on the field are the doers, they make mistakes because they attempt many things.”

+1 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

It's more like Bert whining like a little girl (news right?) and Satan not being able to beat a hurry up offense (ie. Auburn, Oklahoma, A&M)

Berts just mad that Arkansas blows nuts and hes realizing that hes won't win shit there, especially when its takes them 30-35 seconds everytime to run a damn play. #Karma :)

Spring football is like non-alcoholic beer.  It looks like what you want, but only intensifies your desire for the real thing--Earle

Killer nuts's picture

I said it in the skull session and I'll say it again: F*ck Bert Bielema

+9 HS
Hovenaut's picture

For me, at this point, don't go away mad Bielema...just go away.

And with his fan-f'n-tastic start in the SEC, that could happen sooner than later.

+2 HS
doofenshmirtz's picture

Maybe there should be a rule proposed about the number of offensive line men that can be on the field at any one time, or maybe a rule about the number of total carries a running back can have in any one game or in any one season. 

You know, player safety and all.

+9 HS
doofenshmirtz's picture

Also, I think we should propose a rule about the maximum weight (or bmi) a head coach can be, you know, for coach safety and all.

+26 HS
toad1204's picture

You win.

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

+4 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Exactly! When Wisconsin ran their "barge formation" on offense, that was in the interest of player safety . . .

rickyu22's picture

That makes sense...keep a player from getting hit so many times. But that would totally change the game of football. Just like making teams wait to snap the ball.

Killer nuts's picture

The last two paragraphs are absolutely spot on

Meaty19's picture

I'm waiting for the article in all caps that reads "DOUCHE FINALLY FIRED FROM ARKANSAS"

+5 HS
osu07asu10's picture


CJDPHoS Board of Directors // Best friends with Homey Hache

The 0 is silent.

+2 HS
RedsBuckeyeBoy's picture

Bert's antics used to be kind of funny along with being whiny and annoying, and I rarely use this kind of language in my posts, but....Fuck Bret Bielema! There's really no other way to say it. The guy is a complete pile of shit. 

+3 HS
m5987usus's picture

Well I guess when you go defeated in conference play you'll try anything to get a win ya know lol bert


+1 HS
scrotieMcboogerballs's picture

Is there a more punchable face in all of college football?


"Who do you think you are?!?!...I am!!"  -Pete Weber, bowling legend and dominator of the English language

+4 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

I just upvote scrotie because he has the balls to post under that name.

Killer nuts's picture

If there is a more punchable face I'd love to see it


+7 HS
Buckeyeneer's picture

As I've said before, his nose is always flared and his face is always looks like he's about to say, "Who farted?"

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

+1 HS
OSUStu's picture

And then respond to himself, "Hehe, it was me."

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

+1 HS
deddy214's picture

The whole thing is great but the last line of this is by far the best part.

FitzBuck's picture

I don't like to swear on here but


Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

+4 HS
buckeyedude's picture

You give Bert way too much credit. He was NEVER in that good of shape. Funny though!




Johnny-Shane_Utah-Falco's picture

Great article. 

I hope Bert and Arkansas go 0-12 this season.

Ericgobucks's picture

Another season like last year and we won't have to "hope" Bielema goes away-Arkansas will make it so. 

BUCKSOMIES's picture

I love it.  "fetid turd like Bielema".  Wahahaha.

+1 HS
doodah_man's picture

Damn, you beat me to it...perfect metaphor...

Jim "DooDah" Day

"If I were giving a young man advice as to how he might succeed in life, I would say to him, pick out a good father and mother, and begin life in Ohio.” --Wilbur Wright, 1910

joel121270's picture

Good read Johnny, it sure seems Bert is always trying to find the easy way out all the time. I find it comical he has to find this solution to improving his team by trying to change the rule. I'll blow a freakin gasket if this rule passes. Can't stop hurry up offense, well you better find better personell (?) both in recruiting and coaching scheme like a lot of other coaches do. Lazy coaching tactics from this douche IMHO. 

+1 HS
BuckeyeJ's picture

How bout make a rule that the offensive line can shift at anytime preparing for a blitz! Safety at its best!!! 

Buck Commander's picture

Bert is a Pickle Licker!

Every time I set my DVR to record Biggest Loser......It always records Wolverine Football Games!

+2 HS
Buck Commander's picture

Bert is a Pickle Licker!

Every time I set my DVR to record Biggest Loser......It always records Wolverine Football Games!

Run_Fido_Run's picture

Either Bielema is being willfully stupid or he really has no capacity for logical reasoning. My money is on the former possibility, but the latter cannot be ruled out.

The funny thing is, he's probably noticed people in the political realm who got away with cynically engaging in willful stupidity, only to have the media cover for them. In this case, though, the sports media adore hurry up offenses. Bielema doesn't even realize that he's swimming against the tide - that's how clueless he is.

Unky Buck's picture

You're an awful man, Bert Bielema

Seriously, stop wasting perfectly good oxygen and jump off the nearest cliff.

Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

+2 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

What can't I see the rest of the mom/aunt/Au Pair who is holding little girl's hand? I'm extrapolating a pretty picture . . .

Unky Buck's picture

It's Jeremy Piven's wife and she's the girl's mother in that scene.


Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

Osurrt's picture

That GIF is gonna give me nightmares....LMFAO!

+2 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

Every time he opens his mouth, he actually says something dumber than before, which is pretty amazing. 

+3 HS
Stinson's picture

"I'm just tryna win some ball games, baby."



"The height of human desire is what wins, whether it's on Normandy Beach or in Ohio Stadium." -Wayne Woodrow Hayes

+4 HS
buckeyeradar's picture

Why not just take a water break after every four or five plays.  Maybe tell the opposing defense which side of the field you'll be running to.  Maybe have the defensive back jump up and down waving his arms if he's blitzing.  Bert's a joke.  Nike will have new uniforms for the Razorback's defense, short skirts.  :-D

I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box but I'm one of the most colorful.

+1 HS
sharks's picture

Just revealed to the rest of the SEC that he's afraid of the hurry up.

A man got to have a code...

OSU_1992_UFM's picture

Hadn't considered that. Saban did the same thing though, wasn't so much a secret with Saban. Bert problem is his slow ass offense can't produce nearly enough points because:

1. They really suck

2. Bert is your coach

3. Wayyyy to slow

4. See 2

5. See 1,2,3,4

Spring football is like non-alcoholic beer.  It looks like what you want, but only intensifies your desire for the real thing--Earle

Ashtabula's picture

This article is top-notch. I really didn't know what I was feeling until I read it. Perfect!

+1 HS
Nappy's picture

I hate Bert as much as the next guy but love that's he's the SEC's problem now.  I hope he stays in Arkansas forever and keeps saying stupid shit like this.

I never saw a football player make a tackle with a smile on his face

+2 HS
Osurrt's picture

He may be staying in Arkansas for a long-time, but it won't be in Arkansas University...maybe a good community college program. SEC will continue to destroy this caveman's small thinking.

+1 HS
Silver Bullet 10's picture

Havent read the article yet. Im just here for the Bert bashing. Woooh! 

+3 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

Yeah, I kept thinking that he pretty much ran a hurry up offense in Wisky for those last few years with Ball and really the one year with Russell. I guess he thinks a run heavy hurry up is different than a passing, spread offense hurry up.

(I know he doesn't really run a hurry up but he might as well be the way he abuses his players)


I saw a UFO told me to have a goodyear!

hetuck's picture

If you have a life-threatening condition, you shouldn't play football. It's like Hank Gaithers with Marfans. 

Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

Vince Lombardi

+2 HS
Buckabroad's picture

1. I am very sorry about Ted Agu. This is an awful tragedy.

2. Everything about Bert screams putrid and cowardly. It will take Wisconsin at least 20 years to wipe the stain of that creature off of their program.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

+1 HS
Norwalk's picture

" If one of those players is on the field for me, and I have no timeouts, I have no way to stop the game. And he raises his hand to stop the game, and I can't do it. What am I supposed to do? What are we supposed to do when we have a player who tells us he's injured?”-- Bret (Bert) Bielema

Since this happened against YOUR TEAM... You might want to try it...


+3 HS
Grande Gustavo's picture

As I have said for years and will say again "Choke on a dick Bert.  Choke long, and choke hard."  I can't stand this pig farming, second rate, douche bag of a coach.

The answer may not be at the bottom of a bottle, but it never hurts to check. 

+2 HS
buckguyfan1's picture

Bert is a bag of douche. 

+1 HS
skid21's picture

We seriously care about player safety, unless it is in the last 2 minutes of each half when they are more likely to be tired.

+1 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

Bert you belong in here 


-1 HS
BKLINE20's picture

I like Bert Bielema about as much as white underwear.


Unky Buck's picture

Bert's a skid mark on the underwear of society...

Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

+1 HS
OSU_1992_UFM's picture

A pimple on the ass of mediocrity

Spring football is like non-alcoholic beer.  It looks like what you want, but only intensifies your desire for the real thing--Earle

VickVega24's picture

so let me get this right.....if you are on have to let ten seconds drop off the clock before you snap the ball? Did they think about when you are in close game.  For Example, lets say you are the Arkansas Razorhacks and Bert's team is down by 4 against Prairie View A & M and they need a touchdown.   It is the last 21 seconds of the game.......they snap the ball get close to the end zone (maybe it's second and 5)but there is 10 seconds left and no time outs.....does the game end at 10 seconds?  I haven't read anything that says that they are allowing a 2 minute offense, but if they don't.....old bert might lose it because of his own stupidity.

Sometimes you just got say WTF!

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

The rule would not be enforced in the last two minutes of each half.

-1 HS
Knarcisi's picture

Shouldn't Bert be spending a little more time coaching and recruiting?  I mean, 2 wins are hard to come by these days. 

kingjamborah's picture

I'm almost glad that Bert and DirkSatan have championed this ass-munch "rule change". Here is a much needed opportunity for the un-enlightened to see what a cynical and self-serving bag of turds Bert really is. And it's a lucky thing, too. Had this not come to pass then Bert would have been allowed to pass from Div 1 to Div 3 (where he belongs, though, really, high school would be more appropriate) without people really getting a true sense of his Ass-Clowness. As others have pointed out, here is a man who sends his marquee RB balls to the wall into the LOS against 8 and 9 in the box 30+ times a game posturing about "player safety". Come on. The best thing for these players would be to make the field wider or institute a weight ceiling. No one with an IQ over 50 believes this "rule change" serves player safety. In fact the opposite is true. By allowing the defense 10 extra seconds to lug  a blown out 350+ defensive player off the field, rather than make him face three whole downs in a row, you are perpetuating the biggest long term safety issue in football today: that is that human beings are not meant to weigh over 300 pounds and go anaerobic over and  over again while slamming into other human beings. It's not good for them. Anyone who believes (rich) cynics like TuscaLucifer and Brot Bielema are proposing this "rule change" in the interest of "player safety" is a moron. They're proposing it because they are more comfortable with the (boring) pro-style offense and a defense that is designed to stop that kind of offense. 

Also I take exception to a previous post that describes Nick Saban as "successful". Alabama did NOT win the SEC championship this year. They did not win their bowl game. They were not particularly successful




EddieG27's picture

It kills me to say it but Saban> Burt. And I cant fucking stand nick

VickVega24's picture

eddie's ok.....i'd take nicky satan any day over bert......there is no is like taking a flag football's best water boy and comparing to bear bryant......i hated to say that too...but bielema has nothing but at least saban has championships(even though we don't like the way he got them)

Sometimes you just got say WTF!

JohnnyKozmo's picture

Wouldn't it be great to wake up and see- "OSU schedules Home and Home with Arkansas in '14-'15."   I know, I know, logistically, it wouldn't happen with this year, but who really thinks Bert will be around long enough to see this matchup ever happen.

Pain don't hurt-Dalton

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

I thought we wanted Ohio State to stop scheduling cupcakes?

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+9 HS
Unky Buck's picture


Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

+1 HS
d gordon a's picture

You hear all this Bull about the defense needing rest, but during the game the offensive line never changes, The running backs time and again by some analyst state the back gets stronger the more carries he gets.   I think the coaches  push them harder in training camp than the energy they use in a game at least conditioning was always go go go from my coaches irregardless of the sport. Meyer has stated give me 5 good seconds,  How much rest is there after the 5 seconds before the next play?  Bret and Saban deserve each other.  

BrewstersMillions's picture

Few things make me happier about college football than knowing Bert is closer to the end than the beginning of his head coaching career.

BrewstersMillions's picture

Sweet double comment bro.

RBuck's picture

I'm actually getting to the point where I don't know what this jerk's name really is. Bert, Bart, Brett?

Hmmm, sounds like the Maverick brothers.


Long live the southend.

SaudiBuckeye's picture

If Saban and his spokesman poodle, Bret, really believe that hurry up offenses are dangerous, I guess then they also must be of the 25% that Sun revolves around the Earth.

Hey, it just occurred to me that maybe Bret went to Arkansas because he thinks pigs can fly.

OSU_1992_UFM's picture

We know one pig that can fly. From Wisconsin to Arkansas....then crash and burn

Spring football is like non-alcoholic beer.  It looks like what you want, but only intensifies your desire for the real thing--Earle

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

Bertie's head would explode if he ever watched a Rugby Union match.

-1 HS
BuckeyeB9B82501's picture

Looks like Bert has more KARMA coming his way. He is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen, worse than the Joke in AA

Buckeye Dynasty starts in 2014 baby !!!!!! GO BUCKS !!!!!!!! O - H - I - O

Art Harrell's picture

Bert is a class A-dick--he coached as a -dick he will die as a -dick----> Go Bucks

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

Bert is a complete douche stain that fouls the planet!  I guess if I was a reporter asking this turd questions - I would have inquired as to how this 10 second rule would have saved Ted's life.  I would have enjoyed watching the clueless look ooze over his fat face...

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

wilkins0802's picture

Good ol' Bert..never a dull day in the life of the Hog King

Truth & Courage, 1-17IN, 5/2 SBCT


Buck Commander's picture

It has been 3 Days since my last post and Bert is still a pickle licker!

Every time I set my DVR to record Biggest Loser......It always records Wolverine Football Games!