Who is the Better Fictional OSU Quarterback? Shane Falco or Johnny Utah?

By DJ Byrnes on January 6, 2014 at 11:23a
Who's the better QB? Shane Falco or Johnny Utah?

Shane Falco was the stud prospect who threw five picks in the Sugar Bowl. He earned the derisive nickname "Footsteps Falco." He served admirably as a scab quarterback for the Washington Sentinels in The Replacements.

Johnny Utah was a Rose Bowl-winning quarterback who blew out his knee late in the game and turned undercover FBI agent in the awesomely-90s Point Break. This was in the pre-BCS era, when that means Johnny Utah's team would have had a chance at the #1 vote.

Both men had venerable (fictional) careers at Ohio State, but Utah was the one who went out the right way. Unless that changes, the nod will always go to hotshot Johnny Utah.

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Falco solely because we never saw Utah play. He just surfed and robbed banks. The NCAA would've banned him for life for that.

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

Alpo's picture

We actually did see Utah play, under the lights of pickup trucks and bonfires. He also made one helluva tackle, taking "The Bodisofa" right into the surf. A classic movie- gotta go with Johnny. "Utah, get me two!"

Jack Burton's picture

It's all in the reflexes - Me

Knarcisi's picture

Yes, and that was frowned upon since he didn't play in the SEC.

Chief B1G Dump's picture

Utah won the Rose Bowl and was in the much better movie.

Also, I am fairly certain I created this same debate topic in the forum a year or two ago...

BuckAlum35's picture

Falco because he hooked up with the smokin' cheerleader in that movie...mmmm.

BuckeyeChief's picture

Johnny Utah!

"2014 National Champions...deal with it!!!"

FitzBuck's picture

Utah.  He killed it in the Rosebowl.  Would have been a Probowl QB if he didn't blow out his knee.  

Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

bigbadbuck's picture

And for whatever reason I like the last name Utah

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, its a war room

AndyVance's picture

Johnny Utah all the way, but Footsteps Falco definitely had the hot chick, and the great line: "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever."

FitzBuck's picture

Yep a step up from L. Petty.

Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

Hovenaut's picture

A cheerleader and runs a bar?
Falco got it done off the field.

GoBucks713's picture

I didn't see Shane Falco play football on the beach with members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

-The Aristocrats!

Hovenaut's picture

That would be a waste of time.....

gutterwaste's picture

Actually, Utah got into a 5 or 6 against one fist fight with the Chili Peppers.  He played football with James Dalton from Roadhouse.

gwalther's picture

Good fricking points. 

Class of 2008

stittracer99's picture

I thought I remembered them doing this before. Lo and behold the article in the link is almost 2 years old. Regardless, Falco is by far the better QB. Maybe the Browns should give him a call.

GoBucks713's picture

Utah tore out his knee in the game winning drive in his bowl game. Falco choked. I'm going with Johnny Utah.

-The Aristocrats!

FitzBuck's picture

"Footsteps Falco"

Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

GoBucks713's picture

How would the Ravishing Mrs. Vance call this one?

-The Aristocrats!

AndyVance's picture

I called her at work to ask (she's flattered that you care about her opinion, btw), and she said that she'd definitely go with Footsteps Falco on this one, although she added the caveat that it had nothing to do with his on-field prowess and everything to do with the fact that she didn't care for Point Break as a piece of cinema.

andretolstoy's picture

Me thinks you have to work on the Mrs' taste in movies ;)

FROMTHE18's picture

Falco. Better last name.

Buckeyeneer's picture

Rock me, Amadeus.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

+1 HS
andretolstoy's picture

Dude. Johnny Utah. Hands down.

Hovenaut's picture

He went for two (would've gone for three if Angelo Pappas needed him to).

*EDIT* Helloooo, off-season.

JozyMozy's picture

This...this is amazing. I love this Buckshot. 
Better? Utah. Favorite? Falco. I identify with choking on a huge stage in historical fashion. 

carence's picture

That's easy, Johnny Utah because he blows out his knee and then we hear the sweet sounds of Kenny G!

costinjr's picture

Falco was coached by famed Hoosier coach Norman Dale...so he wins in my book

Jack Burton's picture

It's all in the reflexes - Me

jkleva's picture

Johnny Utah, no question.....I mean he tore up USC in the Rose Bowl!

baggle's picture

My vote goes to the somehow underrated Jammie Jammie-Jammie, Heisman winner from THE Ohio State University.
(go to 1:27 for the player intro for Jammie)

gumtape's picture

What is this key and peele show?. It looks like something worth watching.

High and tight boo boo

JozyMozy's picture

they're phenomenal. definitely worth a sample viewing.

Young_Turk's picture

Johnny Utah!  Best quarterback since Joe Montana. 
My favorite pass of his was when he threw himself out of the plane straight towards a streaking and wide open Bohdi.  Touchdown!


Normal Buck's picture

Johnny Utah was a straight up baller - he even tackled well!

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

This is a Buckshot I thought I'd see around June-ish .... the fact that this is out now makes me curiously excited for the off season

Yeti's have feelings too.

gumtape's picture

This was already discussed in a dubcast about 4 months ago. Utah wins because Point Break is simply a better movie.

Where are Citro and Ginter to put an end to this nonsense?

High and tight boo boo

gwalther's picture


Class of 2008

Crumb's picture

Johnny Utah cause he won but Shane Falco was awesome with the huddle speech.

"The only good thing about it is winning the d*** thing" - Urban Meyer on The Game The War

gutterwaste's picture

Gotta go Utah.  Doubt Shane Falco can clear the FBI shooting house with 100% accuracy.  Also, I think there is less of a discrepancy between motivational talents than most remember.  Sure, Falco had the "chicks dig scars" line, but Utah had a 22 year veteran burn-out ready to run through a wall with the whole "Fine, you've given up...that doesn't mean I have to" speech after working the drop car.  Not that I've given this any thought.

MichaelJ721984's picture

Eddie Martel was an asshole.

Michigan sucks.

741's picture

No question: Johnny Utah, brah!

yankeescum's picture

Utah!  Point Break is one of my all time favorites.  I like when Harp asks if there is an asshole shortage around.  And Utah says "not so far" after he walks away and then takes a bite of his doughnut.  The movie is so full of great one liners.  I was taking shrapnel in Khe San when you were popping pimples on your funny face and jacking off to the lingerie section of the Sears catalog!  I could eat the ass end out of a dead rhino.  I feel like hammered shit.  I could go on like this all day.

LeftCoastBuck's picture

Utah because he surfs.
gotta say after living out on the left coast for 15 years that surfing is the best. Great workout, meet interesting people (surfing is like playing golf out here), and being around the occasional curious pod of dolphins.
Nothing like it

"Have a Coke and a smile!.....along with $150 in UM football tickets"

GOOMBAY's picture

It's a trick question. Shane Falco had miles of heart while Johnny Utah came to understand the fifty year storm.
Still, the best football character/movie is Hans Moleman in "Man Getting Hit by Football."

acBuckeye's picture

Not sure which was better, but they were both certainly better than Bauserman.

Unky Buck's picture

You can't go wrong with either...especially since both of them probably know Kung Fu...

Rock over London; Rock on Chicago. Timex: It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

RoyWalley's picture

Both are awesome movies.  Won't pick just one. 
Utah & Falco