Turns Out, Charlie Bauman Did Have it Coming

By DJ Byrnes on December 17, 2013 at 10:08a
Charlie Bauman Had it Coming.

Yesterday, we brought you a tip that showed up in our inbox about an Ohio State fan's troll move on Thomas Clemson's statue on Clemson's campus. "Charlie Bauman Had It Coming" complete with an OhioStateTrollFace.jpeg. It was glorious.

Thankfully for some sleuth on R/CFB, it turns out that Ohio State fan was just the latest in the lineage of thinking Charlie Bauman had it coming. Enter this amazing article from Charleston, South Carolina's The News and Courier January 7th, 1979, edition. It deserves to be read in its entirety, but ends thunderously:

Unless we are willing to see college football go down the drain, all of us are going to have to speak up and reiterate what American coaches have been telling their players for years, WINNING IS EVERYTHING. If we don't allow coaches to slug players on the other team, then there is no sense in suiting our kids up to play the game. Hayes' hit in the mouth might be the best thing to ever happen to Bauman, who I am certain will think twice before stealing a pass again.

*In the distance, the Ghost of Woody Hayes nods in agreement.*

UPDATE (10:37 AM): Because this is the internet in 2013, and we're not allowed to have nice things, we'd like to take this moment to declare: Yes, we know this article is satire, and Charlie Bauman didn't really have it coming because he "stole" a ball intended for an OSU receiver and ran the other way.


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BamaBuckeye144's picture

I was eight years old when Hayes punched Bauman in the face. Looking up from playing with my Legos, even I knew that guy in orange had it coming.


Buckeye Chuck's picture

That's a nationally syndicated column, not a local piece out of Charleston. Art Buchwald missed here and there, but was for the most part hilarious. 

The most "loud mouth, disrespect" poster on 11W.

DJ Byrnes's picture

Nationally syndicated yes, but it was taken from the Charleston paper. Is this not how things are cited? I can barely type.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Buckeye Chuck's picture

It was more to clarify that while in the Charleston paper, this wasn't a "Clemson" perspective, but a piece that ran nationally. I'm guessing some of the younger 11W readers have never heard of Art Buchwald, but in 1979 terms this would have been the equivalent of The Daily Show doing a longish segment on Urban Meyer.

The most "loud mouth, disrespect" poster on 11W.

CALPOPPY's picture

Yep. The sarcasm is dripping from this column.

I'm a hurtin' buckaroo.

DJ Byrnes's picture

Sarcasm? That's crazy. I thought they were really letting a guy be the proponent for an old man slugging a kid in the face on national television. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.


I do, however, confess to not knowing the name Art Buchwald. TIL; Namaste.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

CALPOPPY's picture

But DJ, how do I know you didn't realize it was sarcasm...you didn't use the sarcasm font!
But seriously, sorry DJ, I wasn't trying to call you out. Just commenting that it is similar to what Daily Show or Colbert do where something is so over the top that you have to be an idiot to not understand. My explanation, unlike Maude's doctor, just wasn't very thorough.

I'm a hurtin' buckaroo.

TMac's picture

So often I fail to consider what is common knowledge for me, like who Art Buchwald was and his style of writing, is ancient trivia to the majority of the 11W commentariat. 

ONE Not Done!

Oyster's picture

And it is a shame that they missed out.

"Scrolling hurts my finger"

(and FitzBuck was clearly the winner)

DJ Byrnes's picture

hmmm guess i have to google his work now *throws hands up, heads to mines*

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Oyster's picture

My guess is that you would appreciate his work.  I just have this hunch for some reason.

"Scrolling hurts my finger"

(and FitzBuck was clearly the winner)

hansman's picture

You don't type badly. You made one less typo than the guy that wrote the article.

droessl's picture

Bauman just had a really punchable face, that's all

Michael Citro's picture

Oh he had it coming. That was not his pass to take. Art was trying to give the football to a teammate. What do you do with kids who take someone else's toy? Knock some sense into them, that's what. Good job, Woody. Miscreants must be punished.

Buckeyebrowny919's picture

absolutely ridiculous that this needed an update lol. Appreciated the satire.

To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift - Steve Prefontaine

Breakawayspeed's picture

We have all seen the video but I was standing right there.  After the interception, I heard Charlie  say, " This ends your chances for a comeback Woody and has given me a rather large woody of my own!  Woody , then punched him while screaming "If you parents didn't teach you any manners ....I will!"  True story.

harleymanjax's picture

Charlie Frickin Bauman.......he has brought shame to my family's good name damnit! 
I am seriously considering changing my last name till after the Orange Bowl!
FYI, I changed my icon last night people.

"Because I couldn't go for 3"

MN Buckeye's picture

. . . and you didn't start a thread to let everyone know?

BeijingBucks's picture

All your state are belong to us!

None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. ~ John Milton

fanfarris's picture

This is a bad thread no matter how you look at it.Art , was an old fat bold man who had a sardonic,corcky sense of humor.But i really dont like to be reminded of that game.move on boys.


buckeyejonross's picture

My art spreads haha

"You might as well appeal against a thunderstorm as against these terrible hardships of war. War is cruelty, there is no use trying to reform it; the crueler it is, the sooner it will be over." -William T., Battle of Atlanta, B1G.