Sparty Beat: 11W Interviews Dreamboat Mark Dantonio

By Johnny Ginter on December 6, 2013 at 2:30p
A serious man

Mark Dantonio has proven himself time and time again to be one of the HOTTEST and SEXIEST names in sports. Whether he's jetting across the country to snag a big time recruit, or chilling in his BOMB ASS East Lansing pad hosting one of his epic parties.

We here at Eleven Warriors of course love our old pal Mark Dantonio. He was an instrumental part of the last national championship that our Buckeyes won, and his overall demeanor and obvious hatred of Michigan only endears him to us all the more. We were lucky enough to get a sit down with Mark a few days before his team left for Indianapolis, and he dished all about himself, his team, and his mysteriously alluring offensive coordinator Jim Bollman.

(click to enlarge)


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popeurban's picture

I was hoping this was real, but I will happily take this.
Side note: Dino reminds me of a cross between Bill Belichick and Ron Swanson.

Seattle Linga's picture

Belichick - you mean the guy that got cheating?

I_Run_The_Dave's picture

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought Ron Swanson when reading this!  Haha

Northbrook's picture

I see you caught him on a 'good' day.

AngryWoody's picture

Mark Dantonio read this. He was not amused. Life is pain.

Our Honor Defend!

4thandinches's picture

Mark's reaction when reading 11W.

I wasn't born a Buckeye but I became one as fast as I could. 

Hovenaut's picture

He's so personable.
Let's bump up "Blaze of Glory" by the 'Jovi on that playlist of his (great, now that's stuck in my head).

BucksfanXC's picture

Like Oh Em Gee, I can NOT believe MD likes Bon Jovi too. We have so much in common. We're totes soulmates. I hope I get to meet him someday, we'd be BFFnE.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

JozyMozy's picture

Johnny and Mark, teaching us about history. This is glorious. 

Michael Citro's picture

I agree with PopeUrban. I heard every answer in my head in Ron Swanson's voice.

sharks's picture

Bollman and the herring had me rolling.

Fantastic piece.

A man got to have a code...

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

Yeti's have feelings too.

Ethos's picture

all holy grail references must get a upvote

"I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted." - George Best

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

Thanks ..... I was looking for a gif of the Knights of Ni saying that line but this was the best I could do

Yeti's have feelings too.

cronimi's picture

Wow, just ... wow. Johnny, you really captured Marky D at his most nihilstic. 
And as I was reading Dantonio's responses, I couldn't help hearing it in Paul F. Tompkins' Werner Herzog voice. I don't know why.....

Seattle Linga's picture

Johnny - super write up - looks like you had a little extra time on your hands huh? 

Johnny Ginter's picture


el duderino's picture

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in your classroom...
Thank you for brightening my snow day, Johnny.

"This is a very complicated case: a lot of ins, lot of outs, lot of what-have-yous."

741's picture

I love this guy! Happiest man on the planet.

Baroclinicity's picture

For a minute, I thought Sarah Hardy was back...

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Earle's picture

I imagine that he is what is under the dementors' hoods.

Have you tried Not Your Father's Root Beer?  It tastes just like the real thing, but it packs a punch (5.9%ABV).  It's a little sweet for me though.  Two is my limit.

The Braden's picture

Win or lose tomorrow (seriously, though, let's win this thing...), I like this guy.  He's a good guy in my book and has done some amazing things for a questionable team in a questionable conference.  
I wish only the best for him.
After laying 50 on his ass in 24 hours....

MN Buckeye's picture

mysteriously alluring offensive coordinator Jim Bollman

Some mysteries are too deep for comprehension.

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

Love Mark D prior to tomorrow at 7:55pm and after midnight but between those hours - f@#$ him, I hope he gets completely embarrassed!!!

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

Haybucks's picture

He does have a surly disposition, but from the interview is subtly amusing.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. -  Mark Twain