‘Super Drunk’ Driver Upset About Wolverines’ Woes

November 12, 2013 at 12:50p    by DJ Byrnes    
32 Comments
Michigan Man

Yesterday, microphone feedback was blamed for the super bizarre speech given by Michigan President Mary Sue Coleman at halftime of the Nebraska game. There won't be such a defense for this Wolverine Lake man:

The man appeared confused and disoriented. His speech was slurred, his eyes were watery and bloodshot and he smelled of alcohol. He said he was “drunk,” he had “a lot” of alcohol and urinated on himself.

His blood-alcohol level at the police station was 0.24 percent, above the state’s 0.17 percent super-drunk standard. The man’s car was impounded.

While he was being booked, he said he drank so much because he was upset that the University of Michigan’s football team lost 29-6 at Michigan State University the day before. He said he also was upset with the play-calling of Offensive Coordinator Al Borges, whose Wolverines rushed for a negative-48 yards, the worst ground performance since the school started playing football in 1879.

So for those scoring at home, Al Borges has literally driven a man to drink and drive. In related news, where are we at with the "We Love You, Borges!" tifo?

 


32 Comments

Comments

Hovenaut's picture

What a pisser.

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

ATXbucknut's picture

Wee shouldn't use such language, Hove.

Hovenaut's picture

Potty mouth slip up.

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

ATXbucknut's picture

No worries about the potty language, Hove. Urine good company around here.

Hovenaut's picture

I knew you wouldn't flush that opportunity away ATX....well played.

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

ATXbucknut's picture

We're both taking this thing too far.  Like two pees in a pod.

avail31678's picture

It's OK guys.  Urination of Buckeyes.  You are Buckeye Nation.

avail31678's picture

Whether or not you can stop - Depends.

Hovenaut's picture

Effective against the (M...igan) runs?

(Ugh, too soon?)

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

OSU_undergrad's picture

You...you know Dr. Brule too?

shortbus20's picture

Hovenaut I always like your humor but this time your comment had a OVI advertisement right above it which made it even better. LOL

  • shortbus20
Hovenaut's picture

Fun M...igan stories, 11-Dub and well-placed ads.....is there anything they can't do?

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

Posterchild's picture

Wow. Let's take a moment from our raucous laughter to remember that no matter how bad things get, drink responsibly, and when you drink set some money aside for a cab. He's lucky he didn't kill himself, the people on the road with him are even luckier.

buckeyes763's picture

Beat me to it with the responsible post. Also, way to live up to your name, POSTERCHILD

RedStorm45's picture

Amen. Found the "can Michigan's season never end?" comment in poor taste, because drunk driving isn't funny.

buckeyes763's picture

Thankfully this man's stupidity didn't get anybody killed. And is "super-drunk" an actual legal term up there??

avail31678's picture

Yes, they also use terms similar to Spaceball 1's speed designation (e.g. ludicrous speed).  This guy drank himself straight to plaid!!

Unky Buck's picture

Why don't we take 5? Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

...

avail31678's picture

I have found the combination to the safe which keeps Al Borges' secret playbook.  Ready?  It's:
1......
 
2......
 
3......
 
4.

Unky Buck's picture

That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Haha, thanks for that laugh. I needed that.

...

Buckeyeneer's picture

Well, now I know what movie I'll be watching this weekend.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

OSUStu's picture

His blood-alcohol level at the police station was 0.24 percent

Vodka Sam laughs at this...no, wait...she used to laugh at this.

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

Breakawayspeed's picture

I, for one, want to stop going to the mgoblue website and reading all about how they are being tortured but I am powerless to do so.  I am addicted to their agony! Is this normal?  Please!  Somebody, help me! 

AltaBuck's picture

If .24% BAC is 'super drunk' standard, what is the standard for Vodka Sam's .34% BAC?
Ben Sanderson Drunk?
Note - Ben Sanderson was the Nicholas Cage character from Leaving Las Vegas. Read the book if you are feeling happy and want to be depressed.

I am Groot - Groot

averagejoel419's picture

I believe the category is Tim Allen wasted. Pure Meeechigan

see how the mass of men worry themselves into nameless graves while here and there a great unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality

hit_the_couch's picture

He's probably more pissed about what's happened to Dearborn, especially the post Bruce Campbell and Evil Dead era.

And then I told her...i'm no weatherman, but tonight's forecast is calling for several inches!

Haybucks's picture

He doesn't sound too drunk if he can recall these stats when arrested:

He said he also was upset with the play-calling of Offensive Coordinator Al Borges, whose Wolverines rushed for a negative-48 yards, the worst ground performance since the school started playing football in 1879.

But I'll drink to that.  Cheers!

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. - Irish proverb

 

Oyster's picture

Now that was good!

Blackbeards Delight's picture

Was Fitzgerald Toussaint in the car too?

Crunchy Peanut Butter Bitches.

- Me

 

BuckeyePride's picture

Depends...was the car in reverse???

How Firm Thy Friendship....

Blackbeards Delight's picture

Quality!

Crunchy Peanut Butter Bitches.

- Me

 

bucks_4_life's picture

I literally LOL'd at this! 

The juice is worth the squeeze