The Weekender: B1G Football Teams As Star Wars Characters, Caleb Downs is As Advertised and Kyle Whittingham Winks and Nods at Michigan Boosters

By 11W Staff on May 10, 2026 at 2:35 pm
Jabba the wolverine
image via OpenAI
5 Comments

Own the group chat with The Weekender, highlighting the biggest stories in college sports, standout writing from Eleven Warriors, and a glance at what’s next.

B1G Football Programs as Star Wars Characters

Today is the halfway point of the college football offseason. It's all downhill from here!

Despite being on the back nine of the abyss, the two slowest months on the college football calendar are this one and June, which means it's silly season for online engagement.

Add this to the pile of reasons that AI cannot be trusted (Star Wars spoilers ahead). Per Grok:

  • Ohio State is Michigan's father
  • Penn State is Ohio State's mentor
  • Southern Cal is...somehow also Michigan
  • Rutgers is a ruthlessly efficient bounty hunter
  • Nebraska is Michigan State's father
  • Yoda loses four games every year

It goes on and on like this. The most accurate casting is Maryland as Finn, but more specifically - as a storm trooper, who in Star Wars are known for exactly two things - not being able to shoot straight and losing. Runner-up is Purdue as R2D2, in that it has some obvious value but ultimately just get used by everyone.

As for That Team, here's how Jabba the Hutt is described by Wookiepedia:

...gangster and crime lord...who operated and led a criminal empire from his palace on the Outer Rim world of Tatooine...controlled the bulk of the piracy, slavery, and trafficking in illegal goods that generated most of the planet's wealth.

C'mon Grok. That was the easiest one. As for the others: A football game, so badly need it, we do.

Cowboys Head Coach: Caleb Downs "is what we thought."

What is the opposite of Buyer's Remorse?

That's Dallas patting itself on the back, which is what every front office in sports should do after a draft is completed with no actual performance to point to or validate. But it does create a question - who did Dallas think Caleb Downs was? 

Buckeye fans can tell you he's one of the most cerebral, instinctive and physically captivating secondary players Ohio State has ever had. But did Dallas see anything different? Like, who did they think they thought he was? Here are some possibilities:

In early Urban Meyer Ohio State-era parlance, Dallas saw Downs as a Swaggernaut. Confirmed.

Dallas saw Downs as the steal of the draft and was prepared to give away its 5th round pick and higher 1st round pick to get him. They still got fortunate once the Giants used the 10th pick for offense instead of defense.

Later the same week, Downs was wearing no.13 and there's really no indication he's going to make that his permanent number. The real question is when he secures the number two jersey. Seems like Dallas will not be surprised when he does.

Football Coach Wants Basketball School to Reconsider

If you can read this, you're old enough to remember Michigan fans attempting to diminish the value of Ohio State's 2024 national title, which was achieved without taking on multiple NCAA investigations for cheating which produced 23 years' worth of show cause penalties and fines.

Ohio State's alleged $20M roster two seasons ago made headlines, and then Texas - one of the teams the Buckeyes deposed during their title run - made some quieter ones when it doubled that amount for its 2025 team. Then the Longhorns lost to Ohio State again, but let's stay on topic.

Whittingham was signaling to Michigan boosters what he's rather scream at them: Do you want to be a basketball school? Because you're tampering and spending like that's what you want more. He had planned on retiring in 2024, but when a prestige program needs someone to come in and disinfect the kind of rancid odor that comes with unending impropriety, retirement can wait.

Once upon a time Michigan football would win or die trying. Whatever happened to that energy? 

ICYMI

Spring Recap: Quarterbacks

Tavien St. Clair made big strides, Julian Sayin worked to improve as a runner and Justyn Martin was the No. 3 quarterback ahead of Luke Fahey for Ohio State this spring.

The Most Improbable Things About the 2025 Season

The Buckeyes' 2025 season ended abruptly, but they still did plenty of things that seemed improbable when looking back at the season as a whole.

Another 12W Happy Hour, This Time with Jim Lachey

Ohio State legend and Super Bowl champion Jim Lachey headlined the fifth 12th Warrior Happy Hour and had an exclusive conversation with our biggest supporters. 12Ws who were unable to make it can catch the recording here. Not a 12th Warrior yet? Join us for the next one!

What's Next

  • 118 Days: Ohio State football opens season vs. Ball State
  • 160 Days: The Buckeyes face Indiana in Bloomington
  • 202 Days: The Game
5 Comments

Remember When: Archie Griffin Played 14 Straight Seasons of Football in Ohio

Aug 22, 1978; Bloomington, MN, USA; FILE PHOTO; Cincinnati Bengals running back Archie Griffin (45) carries the ball against the Minnesota Vikings during a pre-season game at Metropolitan Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Malcolm Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Ohio State Spring Recap: Earl Little Jr. Stands Out Early, Terry Moore Surges Late As Transfers Look to Secure Starting Safety Spots Alongside Jaylen McClain

Earl Little Jr.
View 5 Comments