Folks, I completely whiffed on scheduling today's Skull Session before sleeping and the only reason I'm even up this early is because my cat woke me up in disgust that I also forgot to feed him.
TL;DR, my life is in shambles and my cat is the only thing keeping me intact. Eat at Arby's (but only takeout)!
If you think this pandemic has been tough on you, imagine being the owner of a sportsbook right now.
I mean, let's just take a gander at Bovada.lv's current offerings:
Folks, I just want to be clear that if you're betting on simulated Madden games during this time, please call 1-800-522-4700.
Table tennis though...
Song of the Day: We Built This City" by Starship.
Word of the Day: Matinal.
PROTECT THE 'SHOE. The past decade, Ohio State has been damn near unbeatable inside the confines of the concrete cathedral, posting a nation's best 0.931 win percentage.
Also, Wisconsin checks in at No. 5 with only eight home losses in 10 years – and 25 percent of them came to the Buckeyes. Ohio State is the only school to make the top-five, and beat a top-five team at home. And they did it twice.
Get dumped then, everyone else.
ZED KEY IS READY. We don't know if Kaleb Wesson is staying for one more season or if he's going to take his talents to somewhere that will pay him money to play basketball.
If younger Wesson does decide to move on, incoming freshman Zed Key is ready to go in his place after having his senior season end abruptly due to the coronavirus.
“No one wants their season to end like that, but it wasn’t only just us,” Key said. “There were multiple teams across the country that were affected by this. Just to see your senior season end and not to be able to play with those guys again, I was really upset. I took it hard.”
His next chance to play will come with the Buckeyes. Key signed with the program in November, then put together a season in which he was one of five finalists to be named New York’s Mr. Basketball. He is listed as a three-star prospect, the No. 4 player from New York and the overall No. 154 national recruit, according to the 247Sports.com composite rankings.
Should junior center Kaleb Wesson opt to enter the NBA draft, Key said he’s preparing to help fill the void.
“It’s a really big opportunity,” he said. “They’re looking for me to come in and be a presence right away. I’ve just got to work hard every day to make sure I have that spot and get better every day. I’m excited to go out there.”
If Kaleb does leave, things are gonna look quite a bit different. After basically building the team around a big man for the past three years, they're going to have to uh, do something else because outside of 6-foot-10 Ibrahima Diallo, there's a solid chance Zed Key and Kyle Young are the tallest guys on the roster next year at 6-foot-7 and 6-foot-8.
Welcome to small ball!
HIGHLIGHT REEL. Regretfully, I cannot give you live sports during this driest of times, but what I can offer you is a delightful, theatrical quality highlight package for your viewing enjoyment, courtesy of Ohio State's video team.
Year 4: The Football Reel (Part 2) pic.twitter.com/KtblnnOtgp— Zach Swartz (@zswartz) March 25, 2020
And one day, I'll even be able to watch these without being bitter about how the season ended!
ANTI-VIRUS URBAN. Don't worry y'all, Urban Meyer's virus protection is on 10 thanks to a dear friend.
Thank u to nice friend, Eliza, for these hand-made protective/functional, yet fashionable masks to help us thru the pandemic crisis (she lives in Fla so hence, the Gator influence). #BeSafeAndHeathy pic.twitter.com/x0QUBdIu1J— Shelley eyer (@spinnershells) March 26, 2020
I can only assume the flamingos add to the protection.
Shoutout to Eliza for helping out, but am I going to have to start a damn kickstarter to get that man a mask in Buckeye colors?
THE DRAFT WILL GO ON. With everything else in life getting postponed or canceled, I bring you a little good news today: the NFL Draft will go on as scheduled.
Commissioner Goodell sent out a memo to NFL teams tonight that the draft will go on April 23-25. pic.twitter.com/tYlHo3fKqC— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 26, 2020
It's wild that something *not* getting canceled is extremely newsworthy, but that's just kind of where we're at right now.
And I'll tell you what, this might be the most I'll ever watch of draft coverage on ESPN and it will be simply because something – anything – is happening.
Also, it's basically just going to be an Ohio State infomercial, so that will certainly aid in my consumption.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has allegedly been trafficking cocaine into the U.S. for 20 years... Assassins in London and Washington force changes in the insanity defense... Cartel drug traffickers explain why the virus is very bad for their business... A Las Vegas strip club is offering drive-thru shows, nude hand sanitizer wrestling, and 'coronavirus-free' lap dances... The ugliest cars ever made... When secret mystery planes landed at the base where I was stationed.