The Running of the Bulls sounds fun until you're getting punched off a second-story window by a stranger:
El Chupinazo. pic.twitter.com/MNItOYHPnm
— Gini (@G1NT0N1C) July 6, 2016
Hopefully, we didn't start our day watching somebody die.
MARTELL LEADS THE WAY. The Opening, Nike's offseason commercial-combine-camp-competition, began Wednesday in Beaverton, Oregon.
Tate Martell, 2017's No. 1 dual-threat QB, leads Ohio State's contingent. Yesterday, he looked back at being offered by Steve Sarkisian's Washington as an eighth grader.
From 247sports.com:
“I would never [offer an 8th grader as a college coach],” Martell said at The Opening check-in. He’ll be competing on the field this week at the Nike World Headquarters alongside 165 other top high school football prospects. “I’ve said it before I would never do it if it were me now. If I was a coach looking at that situation I would never.”
But Sarkisian was right about the 5-foot-10 ½, 203-pound Martell who is ranked as the nation’s No. 33 player overall per the 247Sports Composite and one of the jewels of the Buckeyes top-ranked recruiting class.
“Obviously but I’ve seen so many kids that don’t turn out the way they should,” Martell said. “Maybe a coach can see it. I went back and watched my highlight films, I mean I was a good quarterback but you never know how you’re going to pan out, am I going to keep getting better, am I going to be able to throw the ball downfield instead of 30 yards, stuff like that I didn’t know. I would never do it at that age.”
Poor Sarkisian is going to be watching Ohio State highlights and regretting past decisions, but at least they'll never be able to take the fact he was the first to offer Tate Martell from him.
Martell looked about as sharp as a blue chip QB can look in practice, linking up with his boy and Buckeye target Tyjon Lindsey:
Plenty of #Buckeyes fans would love to see this in Columbus. #OhioState commit @TheTateMartell to WR @tyjonlindsey. pic.twitter.com/7u8kIqxfKj
— Tyler Donohue (@TDsTake) July 6, 2016
He also worked on his backflip:
2017 isn't the only class represented out there, either. Slob Billy Price is kicking it on Nike's campus for a week and calling it a "micro-internship," which is a boss move.
Look who's in Oregon - Buckeyes lineman Billy Price doing a micro-internship for the week with Nike and @TheOpening pic.twitter.com/vbnN4KtKxC
— Jeremy Birmingham (@Birm) July 6, 2016
I already booked my bandwagon ticket next summer when the Columbus Blue Jackets ride out for Lord Stanley's Chalice, so I want to go on record now as saying the Jackets' hats are the coldest in hockey, which may not equal tallies in the win column but is always nice.
BET THE RENT ON RUTGERS, Y'ALL. Earlier this week we learned one Las Vegas oddsmaker favors Ohio State over Penn State, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Michigan State and Michigan. This was a good indicator the Buckeyes would be Big Ten favorites elsewhere.
Behold, Bovada's Big Ten East odds:
| SCHOOL | B1G EAST ODDS |
|---|---|
| OHIO STATE | 1:1 |
| MICHIGAN | 5:4 |
| MICHIGAN STATE | 6:1 |
| PENN STATE | 10:1 |
| INDIANA | 33:1 |
| MARYLAND | 33:1 |
| RUTGERS | 50:1 |
It might as well be Ohio State (1:1), Michigan (5:4), Michigan State (Disrespekt:1), and everyone else 1000:1. Even at those odds, betting on anyone outside of the Big Three to win the conference is akin to setting money on fire in a bathtub. Some people are rich like that. Not me.
The West Division is more open:
| SCHOOL | B1G WEST ODDS |
|---|---|
| IOWA | 1:1 |
| NEBRASKA | 2:1 |
| WISCONSIN | 4:1 |
| NORTHWESTERN | 9:1 |
| MINNESOTA | 14:1 |
| ILLINOIS | 25:1 |
| PURDUE | 33:1 |
You're telling me Lovie Smith can't walk through those doors and instantly drag the Illini to 10:1 odds? Hell, the Big Ten West might be fierce.
I'm all aboard an Hawkeye-Buckeye Big Ten banger, as I said Wednesday. I would also never advise wagering hard-earned money on Kirk Ferentz. That's one of those gambling truths that become self-evident as your mortgage goes up in flames and a celebratory 6-6 Mike Riley runs around on the ashes like a child off its leash.
| SCHOOL | B1G CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS |
|---|---|
| OHIO STATE | 7:4 |
| MICHIGAN | 7:4 |
| MICHIGAN STTE | 7:1 |
| IOWA | 9:1 |
| NEBRASKA | 9:1 |
| WISCONSIN | 14:1 |
| PENN STATE | 18:1 |
| NORTHWESTERN | 33:1 |
| MINNESOTA | 40:1 |
| ILLINOIS | 50:1 |
| INDIANA | 50:1 |
| MARYLAND | 50:1 |
| PURDUE | 100:1 |
| RUTGERS | 100:1 |
Imagine Purdue coming out in 2016 and dumping everyone en route to a B1G championship. I wouldn't even be mad. Also pretty sure money would be worthless in that scenario because the thread of society would already have collapsed.
YOU'RE ON NOTICE, ZIKA VIRUS. Like most Americans, I only follow the Olympics if America is within 10 minutes of winning a gold medal or the British are about to suffer another historical collapse.
Even I have seen some of the stuff coming out of Brazil — Rio de Janeiro cops welcoming travelers at the airport with a banner saying cops aren't paid and tourists aren't safe — to the point where I'm like, "Man, I think even if I trained my whole life for this event I would take a rain check for a less turbulent time in Brazil's socio-economic history."
Ohio State wrestler Kevin Snyder, on the other hand, has gold medals to win; Zika be damned.
From osu.edu:
“I took visits to all the schools I was seriously considering,” Snyder said, explaining how he made his college choice. “While I was at Ohio State, I was able to meet some of the guys on the team and wrestle with some of the [Team USA Regional Training Center] athletes. Ohio State presented the partners I needed to push me to my maximum potential as an athlete.”
And while Snyder knew that joining the Buckeyes would go a long way toward helping him achieve his own goals, he also saw that Ohio State was building something.
“I thought we would have a lot of success as a team while I was there,” Snyder said. “The coaches supported my NCAA and Olympic aspirations and have done everything possible to allow me to reach my goals.”
I'd say the partnership worked out for everyone involved.
BOSS ALERT. Loved this shot from the Ohio State Archives, who you should all follow on Twitter:
Check out this pole vaulter at a 1930s track meet! He just made it over and is on his way down pic.twitter.com/kAAC9Txb1P
— OSU Archives (@BuckeyeHistory) July 6, 2016
********CSI CAMERA ENHANCE*******
Oh shit! Get a load of this swaggernaut:
The 1930s were a messed up time for millions of people. And I have come to enjoy modern luxuries like not wearing a shirt for an entire month of work, but I would send us all back there if I could afford to dress like that.
LET'S TALK BACK PAIN. Hello, friends. My name is D.J. Byrnes. I'm a 29-year-old internet blogger here to talk about knee, hip, and back pain.
Experts at Ohio State say this can be alleviated by working your ass out.
From biospace.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Millions of people in the U.S. suffer from knee, hip or back pain, and experts at The Ohio State Wexner Medical Center say dormant butt syndrome (DBS) may be the cause.
Dormant butt syndrome refers to the tightness of the hip flexors and weakness of the gluteal muscles. When gluteal muscles are weak, the muscles and joints around them absorb strain during exercise, often causing hamstring injuries, back pain, hip pain and knee injuries that could lead to surgery.
“The entire body works as a linked system, and a lot of times when people come in with knee or hip injuries, it’s actually because their butt isn’t strong enough,” said Chris Kolba, a physical therapist at Ohio State Wexner Medical Center. “The rear end should act as support for the entire body and as a shock absorber for stress during exercise. But if it’s too weak, other parts of the body take up the slack and often results in injury.”
Chris Kolba ain't never lied.
THOSE WMDs. The $3 billion family art feud... Headless body leads to arrest of border agent... Uber drivers share their craziest stories... The United States of Craigslist... The man who dies in every terrorist attack... The renaissance of the Cuyahoga River.
